Somayeh

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It's been a very long 6 months.  I've been on a plateau for most of it, and once I started seeing a personal trainer, I began to realize why.  I realized that losing weight and getting my body moving in different ways is bringing up some very deeply-seeded psycho-stuff, and seeing that has allowed me to see how my self preservation was impinging on my ability to shed the weight I'm carrying around.  I'm able to maintain my current weight without putting anything on, so I'm not going to worry too much about the "self sabotage" for now - I'm going to focus on my self-preservation and try to process the fears and pain I'm carrying around with me.  I know that when I am able to acknowledge and honor them, I will be able to let them go.  Then I'll heal and become whole once more, and I won't have to think twice about "self sabotage" again :)

Take care,
Somayeh

Another four months has gone by without a post and I'm starting to suspect I'm just not cut out for blogging.... all that introspection and analysis... So much work for lazy ol' me!

I'm actually not sure where to start, really.  It's been a pretty action packed four months.  In February I lost my job to company cut backs, and so I've spent the last six months studying for a certification that now I may not get.   The field doesn't appear as open as it was in the winter.  I'm looking for different work in the meantime, and the stress of that has me a little antsy.  I haven't slept well, which usually means that I also don't eat well, but I've been careful to temper that mostly.  Ironically, I'm actually very happy.  Stress aside, life is going wonderfully.  Since the day I began my weight loss journey, each day has been better than the last.  The truth is I don't think I would have done any of it if it weren't for OH.  Everytime I have a setback and start to get discouraged, I come back to the site and peruse profiles.  Your blogs, stories, and pictures have helped me get through even the most stubborn plateau.  Speaking of which, I'm on a plateau again as I type.  I've been at my current weight for two months, but I'm not really too upset over it this time around.  I've experienced enough of them to know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and the last time I came out of a plateau I lost 15 lbs. in 4 weeks, so I'm just trying to patiently keep on keeping on until my body catches up with my lifestyle.

311/219/145

I've been doing well, over all.  The weight has fluctuated a lot.  I tend to move around a 10 lbs. cushion range due to water weight, so not all of the initial 7 lbs. were fat loss.  I'm bouncing around 247 at the moment, which isn't a bad number all things considered.  The important thing is the plateau is broken and I'm losing again.

I joined a gym last week, and have found it really beneficial.  For the last year and a half or so I've been exercising at home by dancing to music because I really didn't feel like I could handle being in a gym with all those well-toned skinny people throwing me sideways glances as I fiddled with machines that I couldn't figure out.  To my surprise, I discovered that nobody throws me weird looks, and I actually enjoy going there.  I'm looking forward to the day I can walk in there and have someone say "Wow, I remember when you first started coming here... look at you now!"

As far as my food habits go... well, I can't really say much other than "uh.... woops?"

From August to October I did so well.  I focused on my calories and protein and worked hard to keep it all in check.  I think by mid November I was so disappointed and had such a negative feeling about it due to the plateau that when I increased my thyroid intake and saw the big water weight reduction, I sort of let go a bit.  For the last couple of weeks I've been half-a$$ing my diet - some days doing well, some days doing medium-well and some days being just plain bad.  I think part of me figured with a high enough dose of thyroid I can eat anything and lose weight, and I deserved to relax after working so hard for no reward for four months.  But that's not how it works, so I'm trying to get back with the program.  The change in my work environment has definitely made it harder, but I cannot - will not - let it hold me back.  If I can't do it in a "normal," busy lifestyle, I'll never be able to do it for long term.

So, here's to protein shakes, my George Foreman Grill and learning to brine my chicken so it doesn't taste like rubber with Ketchup!