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So been almost 2 years!  Got away from a toxic marriage...gianed all u on FB, got a new girl whos a keeper!  I feel good, i am sexy and I love my LIFE!

So, I really needed to come up here and update.  I am starting off fresh with all the pics since "the leach" was in so many of them, lol.  Yes, I finally got rid of the girl holding me down!  5 years wasted.  Whatever.  I am rockin a size 10, down to 145lbs.  I feel freaking amazing.  Still dump and get sick from time to time but all the labs are checking out a-okay!  Updated pics to come tonight!

Well, I have lost 80 lbs 8 months out.  Down to 160 and I feel freaking AWESOME.  Wish I could say my relationship was too.  So much to talk about there and I don't want to get into it.  Everything happens for a reason and people come and go in and out  of our lives for a reason, but I know I love myself, my family, the few friends I have and my babies, of course!

Well, it has been a minute.  You all know about my wifeband's "T" thingy.  We had a fab time getting away for New Years....we "reconnected"...if you know what I mean :-)

I am in Onederland and loving it.  I always thought I felt good about myself, but damn if I am not one sexy BITCH!!   and feel WAY better too.  Life has been good these past couple months.  The only thing is that I wish I would work out more.  I have sensed a bit of jeleousy from a friend that is now my size who used to be smaller than me, but I deal.......and she will have to as well.  She has gotten REAL mad since her husband has told me how good I am looking.  He does not say it in a strange way...it is innocent, but she gets real pissed.  I have no clue why.  She knows I am gay and love my wifeband..that is her new title since she will be going through her transition soon.  That is one thing I struggle with.  I am gay.  My wife feels like a straight man.  we will just see what happens.  There is so much to think about other than myself...and it does not help that I am typing after my 2nd martini!!

Well, I am 4 days out and I am sooo damn tired!  Day two was horrible.  My machine, IV kept on stopping so my fluids where there, then they were not.  I was sooooooo sick even with anti nausea meds and an ear patch.  Day three was A LOT better.  I had the third day blues, wondering if I did the right thing, but I know I did.  My eye sight has been affected, but I am hoping it is due to the pain meds and going under.  I had someone with me the whole time...great support!  The nurses and techs and everyone was wonderful to me.  I went in @ 231 lbs and cam out @ about 237 lbs.  I am down to 234 lbs today.  I know a lot of it is gas that will not leave my freaking system.  It has gotten better.  I get tired fast but that is common.  This is my surgery story in a nut shell!  Not so exciting!!

October 13th!

I finally have been submitted to my insurance!!  Whoo hoo!!!  Bout f******* time!

I am having a great day today...it just hit me!  Things seem to be giong better with the "support issue".  I am so in love with my partner, I am thankful for my career (jobs are becoming few and far between lately) and I have six furry creatures who brighten my day!  Finally have a couple people in my life I can call "friends" (I am very picky on who I call a friend).  I just felt like gloating to let everyone how happy I am today...well, 'cept I am still fat...damn...!

I just read my prior post and must have been having an emotional day.  Kills me because I am not emotional!!  My mom asked me some info about the surgery today.  That is a good first step, I think to her being supportive. No mother wants to see there child go under the knife so to speak.  My partner..that is different.  I know she is tied up with school.  I am just so freaking happy to have you guys.  What a difference you all have made...and that is from a huge skeptic of internet forums, support groups, etc.  Thanks.

Jitters and Support
Does anyone feel like they just do not/ didn't get the support they were expecting?  My mother said I was stupid and I should exercise (100 lbs is hard to lose!) and it seems like my partner is not as enthused as myself, wants to talk about it as much as me, etc. etc.  I understand no one will be as excited as me, but damn...can I get a shoulder to lean on??  Maybe it is jitters and I am looking for excuses, blaming everyone but me.  I found out yesterday, my wife wants to move like in a month to FL for school.  Not only can I not pick up and move, find a job, and a house within that time frame, BUT I AM GETTING SURGERY!!!!!  I thought it was not cool of her to even think about that right now.  Last thing I knew was that we were staying her for another 6 months to a year then moving.  I told her we may just have to find a room for her to rent until I can get there.  Can I tell you that just renting a room in Miami is $600+...crazy.  I don't know.  I wanted to rant.  I have so many emotions going through me and it drives me crazy that I cannot control them.