Sherina P.
11/01/02 Welcome to my world. I'm 33 and I've hated looking at myself for the past 15 years. I have 2 little girls Samantha (11) and Tabitha (7). They are the most precious things I could ask for. I have found myself becoming anxious and scared but, excited nonetheless. I want to walk around the block with my kids and not feel like everyone's looking at the poor little fat woman. I pray every single day that this will be my answer! I've got my appointment with Dr. Capehart on 11/14. I hope she's ready for all my questions!
11/14/02. Well, I've met with Dr. Capehart and I just love her! She just amazed me with her insights. She had an answer for every question that I asked. A good answer to beat all that! I want to have this surgery so badly! My family is still in limbo about it but, I'm sure they'll come around!!!
11/15/02. Moving to a new house today. Just a rental but, still something nicer than my family was in. I hate to move.
11/19/02. Oh my, I made it through the move! Large people should NOT have to help move! It's too hard on us! Hell, nobody should have to move for that matter!
11/22/02. I'll be moving to a new department at my work on Monday 11/25. I've worked in my present department for 4 years and I do not adapt well to change! Oh well, something different and new. Still no news from the doctor. I'm patiently waiting.
11/27/02. Holy cow! I called Dr. Capeharts office to let them know my new work number and while I was talking to her (Linda) I asked if she had done any checking into my insurance. She said United is never a problem but, she'd let me know. 30 minutes later she called me and I'M APPROVED! I can't even believe it! Come on little skirts, bathing suits and leather pants! I CANT WAIT! My mom is my very best friend in the world. She's very excited for me but, I can also hear some hesitation in her voice. I'm an only child and have been known to be spoiled but, I've never thought so! ;-) I know she'll come around after a while. I'm sure she's scared too!
11/28/02. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I've become a pig from hell! I guess it's normal to eat like this before the surgery. I certainly hope so. I have found that I'm out of control. January 1st I'm going to start trying some of the things that I'm going to need to change. Like, not drinking until 30 minutes after I eat. This is going to be a huge hurdle for me. I'm also going to try some protein shakes and bars. I've had some before but, I want to find out some more of my choices.
12/07/02. My cousin was married today. I decided to wear my "little" black dress. (We all know better). Anyhow, it stayed on for about 30 minutes. The heels were killing me and the dress made me feel more uncomfortable than being naked. It was terrible. I slipped into the bathroom and changed into my regular old cotton pants and large (XL) sweater! I can't WAIT to feel good about wearing that dress again! Actually, I'd like the dress in a size 8 instead of the 22 that I'm wearing.
12/09/02. I was supposed to give blood today but, my iron level was low. Amazing that I'd have anything too low! So, I guess I'll work on that now! Sheesh!
12/24/02. Well, Christmas time! This year has been hard on everyone. My household has been just about bare. My husband lost his job the week before Thanksgiving and we JUST got the unemployment check on the 23rd. Talk about last minute shopping. We were able to get some great gifts for the kids and that's all that counts in our house. I wasn't able to get my mom or hubby anything and that saddens me even though it shouldn't. Next year will be better though. I hope that for everyone!
12/27/02. Well, work has been just as slow as it could be lately and I'm just going out of my mind. I stressed about this surgery so much yesterday that I woke up and 2am and couldn't sleep! I've looked at EVERY single before and after picture and I feel like I know some of the people here personally. I've read profile after profile just to make sure that I'm normal. I've come to the conclusion that I'll probably NEVER be normal. I'm so scared that I'm going to have complications or that I'll get this done and stay fat! My surgeon doesn't offer any type of group counseling after the surgery so, my next mission will be to find support groups in my area. If anyone reads this and knows of some, please let me know. By the way, I weighed this morning. When I went to the surgeon the first time I was at 208. I'm now up to 215. See what happens when you make a pig of yourself? I hope like hell I can control myself after the holidays and after the surgery!
12/28/02. Hmmm, guess what? I'm still reading profiles. I've moved my compulsion from before and after pics to the message board. I'm beginning to get WLS delirous. Every single conversation that I have with my mother is about this surgery. She's so wonderful. She was having a conversation with me yesterday about something and after she finished talking I said...Okay, back to my surgery. Good Lord that woman is good to me. She's decided that I need to stop stressing and I agree but, words are cheap! In the meantime, hubby found out what my little old diet is gonna be like when I come home and he said, my gosh you're not eating more than a bird. I CANT WAIT..for someone to say...YOU EAT LIKE A BIRD! LOL! One more of the things we look forward to. Well guys, stay positive! Til later!
12/30/02. Well Lordy be, I have a wonderful person that e-mailed me today and now I have an Angel! I am so darn excited! She works in the hospital that I'll be in and I am just so elated! Annette Shockley, thank you so much for being my Angel! Now, all we have to do is find more people for our little support group that we need! Anyone in Ellis County or South Dallas County (i.e. Red Oak)??? Let's get together! Once again Annette, thank you so much!
01/01/03. Hello everyone and HAPPY NEW YEAR! I made my New Year's resolution like I do every year about losing weight and THIS year it's really gonna happen! I have 19 official mornings until I have my surgery! I am beginning my countdown today! I cannot believe it's January! I have so much to get done before the surgery! I'm trying to make lists all over the house! I would like to say that this website is the greatest thing in the world. I am so excited everytime I come in here and there's a new picture posted so I can read a new profile! We are all wonderful people! This is a great place!
01/02/03. 18 days!!!! Today was such a slow day. I have the funny feeling they're going to do that for the next 18 DAYS! I have to take a moment and say that some people are just plain assholes! You know, people show their jealously and ignorance in so many different ways. Let me focus on this for just a moment. First off, someone who was supposed to be one of my best friends just BLEW me away today. She just finished her hysterectomy about 3 weeks ago and today I just wanted to give her a quick call to make sure she was okay. Well, I WON'T do that again! She preceeded to let me know that 1) I shouldn't do this. 2) Her mom is a nurse and the only stories that she ever tells are about people that end up with things stuck in their throats and people that end up coming back in after complications with their surgery. 3) If I'm going to change my eating habits so drastically, why don't I just DO IT! Well, this was the last straw. I went ahead and LET her know that green (with envy) is NOT a good color on her! She's about 330 5'8". Not a small woman! This is probably why we've always bonded! I'm guessing this is coming from the fact that we might not have as much to do together when I'm skinny. No more ice cream depression etc. Why can't someone just be supportive? They don't have to agree with what I'm doing but, realize that I'm doing it either way! SHEESH! I truly needed to vent this! Of course my mom had to hear ALL about it on the way home from work and she put her $1.00 into the conversation. She said all the things I know in my heart but, just needed to hear again! So, that was my day. I had to get on here as soon as I got home so that I could read some more success stories and feel all better! NOW, I do! Sorry for the long post, just got carried away! Stay cool everyone!
01/03/02..17 days and alls well!!! Well, as good as I can be 17 days before surgery ya know? I've sent a picture in and am waiting patiently to get it on here. It's from a cruise I had gone on in 2001. I had lost 45 lbs to go on this cruise and still felt like a whale the whole time! I'm going on another one in May of this year..hoping to have lost about 50 lbs before that! Hell, I'll settle for 40 ya know? I'm beginning to get to the nervous, sad phase of the last few days before surgery! Sometimes, I find myself wanting to cry out of the blue....what would my kids do without me? I hope it's normal that we think about this sometimes! Well, I'm off to have pizza! Let's see, 17 days and I WON'T be writing that! Later all!
01/06/02...14 days. 2 weeks. 336 hours. But, hey, who the heck is counting? ME ME ME! I can't tell you all the feelings that are going on inside my head. I am excited as I can be! I'm scared as a little girl! I'm impatient as a dog needing to go potty! How funny that I related that! Oh well! The last week went by so dang slowly. I just want it to be over with. You know, I've had my gallbladder taken out when I was 18. I've got a scar from my breast line to my belly button. I had a hysterectomy 2 yrs ago, (another scar, just lower). After all of this you'd think I'd be an old hat at having people do surgery on me. BUT, for some ODD reason, I just can't stop worrying! I suppose we all do this but, for me, I'm just hoping I don't talk myself out of it! I know I won't because I want to be able to do SO many things with my kids that I can't do now. On the other hand, I'm scared I'll be sick all of the time and NOT be able to do anything with them! ACK! I'll stop whining now!
01/10/03. Good morning post-ops, pre-ops and checking around and thinking about it-ops. I have come to a wonderful peace in my life and I can't WAIT for my surgery! Amazing how some things change that quickly huh? My family, friends and also the people on this website have made me see that this a wonderful and precious gift that I've been approved for. I'm going at it with 100% positive. I'm POSITIVE that I'm going to live through this surgery, I'm POSITIVE that I'm going to have a fast and easy recover, I'm POSITIVE that I'm going to be successful losing the weight that I NEED to, not that I WANT to!!! I'm POSITIVE that I'm gonna fit into a short leather mini-skirt, tight-fitting shirt and black heels! (Don't know where in the hell I'll wear this but, if I have to walk around my back yard in it and fashion for the dogs I will!!)
1/14/03. Yeehaw! I've got 5 days and a wake-up! 5 days, can yall believe it? I can't. I had my pre-up stuff done yesterday. I feel bad for saying this but, it was a breeze. I just had general info to fill out and then did an ekg and gave about 10 vials of blood. I wonder why I haven't had to do all the stuff that some of the others here have had to do but, I'm sure it depends upon the surgeon. So, far my surgeon is "low maintenance". I wonder how she's gonna feel having a "high maintenance" patient! ~snicker~ On a nervous day it would worry me that I haven't had some of those other tests done, but, today is not one of those days. Everyone at the hospital was SO wonderful. I hope the recovery nurses are the same. Other news is that I've lost 6 lbs. How in the heck did that happen? Could be the birthday party that we had for my 7 y.o. on Saturday. 18 6-7 year olds in a large gymnasium. Mass hysteria! I took my before pictures on Sunday. I hate having my pictures taken but, I KNOW this is the last time I have to have them taken at over 200 lbs! I'm so excited!
1/19/03 Well, well, well. I thought this day would never come. I have exactly 12 hours and 10 minutes. What the heck am I thinking? I've lost my mind doing this. It's not too late to back out. These are all of my thoughts today. However, I try to diminish them with the thoughts that 1) The mortality rate is less than 1% 2) I am NOT the only woman that has thought these things, this is normal 3) My surgeon has never lost a patient doing this surgery 4) God is in my heart and whatever happens I know it was supposed to. With all of this positive stuff I'm trying I still had to prepare for all of the bad things. I've written goodbye letters to my sweet baby girls, my hubby and my wonderful mother. If something happens to me, please let them know that it's in the bottom right file drawer in my desk, in front of all the spirals. Why do I feel like I'm writing a suicide letter!? Sheesh! Okay, I'm putting myself back together. I know this is going to be okay. I am gonna go pack now and get a good nights sleep. My angel (Annette) will be updating for me next week. Hugs to her for being there for me!
1/23/03 Sssshhhh. I'm hiding from doctors. I'll update my hospital experience as soon as I get home. I'm doing great and will be home tonight or tomorrow. Hopefully! I've got to poop before they'll let me go. Gotta get back everyone. Take care! Hugs and love to all!
1/27/03 Well, I'm back to the sitting up and living. Coming home from the hospital took a toll on me that I didn't think it would take. I have had some serious problems with the head hunger. I miss my little friend. But, I'm sure it's going to get better. I wanted to take a few minutes and update about my surgery. My surgery was a week from today (Jan 20th 2003). The morning of I was a wreck. I had cried, thought about not doing it, you name it. After I got to the hospital they immediately took me to my "holding room". I got my gown on, and got into the bed. The nurses were very comforting and they made me feel welcome. Then, I needed the chaplain to come in and find witnesses for my power of attorney and my living will. After we took care of that she said a prayer with my mom, hubby and I. It was very emotional. My family was all crying. I was extremely scared and my mom actually had to have the "you've come a long way and it's going to be fine talk with me" even though I'm not sure she was feeling that way. The anesthesiologist came it and put my IV in. I'm not really scared of needles but, IV's make me woosie however, she made my IV so easy, she numbed my hand first and then she put the IV in. It was not bad at all. Then they came in and told me that the surgery was going to be postponed for about an hour. I can not honestly tell you what I did for that 45 minutes. It just seems to have blocked itself out. When the nurses came to get me, I paniced. Didn't want to go. Mom was crying hysterically, hubby was hugging me and it wasn't until later that I found out he was crying hysterically also. But, my wonderful anesthesiologist had given me something while we were crying and the last thing I remember was being rolled out the door. When I woke up I was in total shock. What I mean is, I didn't feel anything but a little achiness. It was 2:15 and I even told the recovery nurse that my pain was about a 2. What was up with that? I didn't get back into my room until 5:30 and that was because my sleep apnea was apparently really bad in the recovery room. They said I just wouldn't keep my breathing up like I was supposed to. But, as soon as I got to my room I wanted to get up and go potty. They wouldn't let me and brought me a bed pan. I finally went. My family said they thought I should stay on recovery medicine all the time, they'd never seen me be so loving and sweet. Whatever! LOL! I remember telling my mother that she was the sweetest person I've ever met! Sheesh! LOL! Anyhow, about an hour later, the nurse let me get up and walk. I was really dizzy but, I knew I needed to walk. All the days just seemed to run together after that. I felt really good while I was there. I ate only ice chips for the first day but, that wasn't a problem at all. I hated eating but, knew I had to so I ate my 3 bites of chicken broth, and my few bites of jello and my lick or two of popsicles. My angel came to visit every day (she works in the hospital I was in). It was such a blessing to have her come in. I took a shower every morning including the day after my surgery. It felt wonderful. They also to the dressing off of my scar that first day. The 3rd day they were wrapping up my IV so that I could take a shower and I got some air or saline water in it and it puffed up a little. It also started bleeding a little. The nurse saw it and decided that we needed to start a new IV in my other ARM. ARM is the key word here, she said my hand didn't have good veins so she'd need to do the ARM. If I could have gotten up fast enough to run I would have! ACK. However, my surgeon came in JUST in time so say...hey, um, why don't we just take the IV out and she'll be a good girl and drink and if she needs pain meds she'll take them by mouth. (All I was thinking was the mighty mouse song..."Here she comes to save the day!" LOL!) I was never so grateful in my life. Needless to say, I had about 2 pain pills since then. It's amazing. I came home on Friday and was really grateful to be home. My sweet hubby had brought in this recliner that he uses in the garage when he smokes and cleaned it all up for me to sleep on for a while. Well, he left the house after getting me settled and I made myself some broth got some comfy clothes on and got ready to settle in the cozy recliner. Well, I had a small bowl of broth in my hands and I went to sit down on this recliner and preceeded to fly backwards all the way to the floor. Reliving the moment I find myself laughing a LOT but, when it happened I was scared to death. I just KNEW I was coming open. Then I had to get up off the floor (a feat in itself) try to clean up chicken broth before my dog got to it and try to regain composure! Whew! When hubby got home I was half laying, half sitting on the couch sleeping like a baby! I spent Saturday and Sunday sitting around the house. This was a mistake. I should have tried to go and do something but, it was 40 degrees and raining outside. I found myself depressed and MAD at myself for doing this. I woke up Sunday feeling a little better and today being much better. A little side note, the doc took my jp drain out before I left the hospital (didn't hurt but, felt a little strange). I'm still draining from this. I change the pads out every few hours. It's a little aggravating but, not painful. So, now, I'm here. One other thing, I weighed the morning of the surgery at my house and I was 214. At the hospital I weighed 208. The day after the surgery I weighed 222. I now weigh 212 by my scales at home. I will weigh on Friday at my doctors office to find out something more set in stone. This is why I can't say yes, I've lost or no I haven't. I also wanted to post my inches, I did this the day before surgery.
Waist 50"
Hips 50"
Thighs 39"
Bust 51"
Arms 13"
I will hopefully have changes in this to update over the next few months. Sorry this was such a long update, I didn't quite expect it to be this long. Good luck to everyone.
1/31/03 Hello everyone! Well, let me say, after re-reading that previous post I'm surprised anyone is still reading! Goodness I was just full of information huh? Sorry about that, I got a little carried away. Okay, everyone ready for the good news? I went to Dr. Capehart's office (side note---I'm crazy about this woman, I can't say enough nice things about her!) to have my staples out and then I got the official weigh in. I am at 192!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm under 200 AND I'm no longer qualified for the surgery! WOOOHHHOOOOO!!! I could NOT believe it. That is an offical (on paper 16 lbs in 11 days). However, technically it's 22 lbs. So, from now on I'm just going to go with the paper version. There is some bad news on the hillside though. I was just about dehydrated when I went into her office. I've been trying so hard to get liquids in and it's SOO hard for me. It makes me feel so wierd when I drink. I can't explain it but, she made me realize the error of my ways. She suggested that I start drinking water w/a straw instead of regular sips. She's thinks I'm getting too much air in when I drink that way. Well, I left her office at 1:30 and by 5:45 I had drank 16 oz. I feel SOOO much better. Don't let this happen to you guys, it makes you feel terrible. Not like a pain, just like you KNOW somethings wrong and you just can't figure it out. The head hunger has seemed to get a little better I still won't watch TV shows sponsored by Pizza Hut, if I did I'm liable to go balistic! LOL! I've tried some things that I was worried about and they went just fine but, EGGS are not my friend anymore. I dumped on them on Sunday.
This is a list of things I've eaten that I don't have problems with.
Oatmeal (this is one of my greatest new friends)
Real Meals Protein Shakes (can't quite get a lot down yet)
Chicken Broth (no words for how much I'm beginning to hate this)
Yogurt
Stir Fry (hubby made some tonight, spinach, shrimp, veggies it was GREAT!)
Tried some pasta it goes down great, I'm just trying to stay away from it
Pintos and Beans from Taco Bell
Sugar Free Fudgesicles and SF Popsicles
Tuna Fish (this is one of my favorites also, very good friend)
With everything listed I've tried not to stuff myself from them. I can't eat more than about 5 bites of anything. Weird thing is that if I make a mistake and try that extra last bite like I did before.....you KNOW when you're full! Whew, it takes a while before you begin feeling un-full! Not a painful thing just feels like your full. So much for explaining that in grave detail! LOL! Okay, I'm going to stop typing now! Tootles everyone!
2/9/03
Well, hello there to everyone! I haven't updated my page because, honestly I've felt like CRAP! BUT, I'm feeling SOO much better now. Beginning on the 1st of February, I developed a seroma on my incision. For those of you that don't know what the heck this is, don't feel bad because, neither did I. When I went in to Dr. Capehart's office on the 31st she felt this knot on my incision and told me that it was probably just a seroma and that it would pass. (WARNING FOR THE WEAK-STOMACHED, THIS IS GONNA GET GROSS!) Apparently, the staple was put into a ball of fat and now that they were out it needed to pass. Sooo, I'm thinking "pass" this means I'll just pee or poop it out and it will go away nicely. Well, passing a seroma means something just a little bit different than that. I actually had part of my scar that opened up a little bit and before I knew it there was a disgusting mess oozing out of it. So, this oozed all last week. But, within a day of this oozing, I developed a pain in my side, under my ribs about an inch from my incision. I couldn't sit straight for more than 30 minutes, I couldn't get up without the pain shooting up my side. It freaking hurt! BUT, by Thursday, I couldn't take it anymore and I went to see Dr. Capehart. What she told me was that there are adhesions on the inside of your stomach and mine were probably inflamed. She told me to take my Vioxx and put heat on it. Well, I was a bit disgusted. I haven't been able to work out and I hadn't lost anything in almost a week but, I also was relieved that no intestines were wrapped around something they shouldn't be. Needless to say, as of today, I am pain free! I feel wonderful AND I got on the scales this morning and poof, I've lost 3 more pounds. (I also walked in the mall yesterday for 8 freaking hours with hubby and kiddos!) So, by my unofficial count I'm down to 189, that's a total of 19lbs in 20 days. I'll take that!! I will be joining my gym this week. Now that the pain is gone, I feel like I can do anything! It's wonderful! My shoes are getting too big, my clothes are getting too big and I'm just getting too small! Oh yeah, guess what else, if I really suck in, I can feel my collar bones! LOLOLOL! Pretty soon maybe I won't have to suck in!!
2/17/03 Happy Late Valentine's Day! That was lame huh? Ok, happy 1st day back at work day! LOL! I have to say that going back to work helped me tremendously! First off, I'm an only child so, having all that attention that I did was great! LOL! Everyone said they could see such a difference in me! It was wonderful! Second, I seemed to be more motivated to eat what I was supposed to. As in, I actually remembered to EAT! LOL! I actually got all my water in, a 6 oz protein drink (Real Meals Strawberry Sensation! YUM!), my tuna and crackers and a graham cracker! I came home had dinner and I have had one FULL day! But, I also walked up and down the stairs 6 times and spent a lot of time flittering around to peoples desks to go and chit-chat! I had a great day!!! I have to tell you about my Valentine's day though. First off, I went to Lane Bryant....I'm in the fitting room and I'm trying on some pants. The saleslady comes in and says..can I help you in there? So, I say, um, yes, these are too big, can I try a smaller size? And she says...um, that's the smallest size we have!!! YEEHAAWWW!!! I was so damn happy I was jumping up and down! I wanted to tell every single woman in that Lane Bryant about this surgery! SOOO, I went to another store and tried on an 18 and brought a 16 with me (this is in regular clothes mind you, NOT in WOMENS!). WELL, the 16's fit and are now (3 days later) already getting loose! I can NOT believe it! I'm also down to 186. That's 22 lbs! If you're considering this surgery........DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!!! I don't care what pain I might have had for that short period of time. I also don't care that I still have some drainage in my incision! I DO care that I feel WONDERFUL! Also, one other quick thing...the girls got their Valentine's on Friday...one of them had M&M's in it. Well, of course I had ONE! One I tell you! It was hilarious! I'm used to ONE bag!!! I was at work today telling that story and this friend of mine said, "You didn't have an M&M, you had an M. I got a great big kick out of that!! Okay, in case you can't tell, I'm pumped! Take care everyone! TOOTLES!
2/23/03 Hello everyone! Well, I made it through my first week at work without too many problems. I have discovered that I have MAJOR issues with the scale. I HAD to have hubby hid it for me. My poor mother was just about ready to strangle me this week for weighing too much. See, my take on being back at work was that I'd probably lose a lot this week because I was walking so much, moving about a lot, eating right...blah, blah, blah. Well, Monday and Tuesday I stayed the same. Wednesday, all hell broke lose, I gained 1 lbs! I got in the car on the way to work and cried for an hour! The next day, I gained another! I was just about ready to hurt someone! Unfortunately, it was just about to be hubby! He doesn't understand how much this was hurting me. (Side note, he's gained 8 lbs since I had this surgery and he's gonna learn some new things about weight sooner or later! heee heee hee) Needless to say, on Friday, I weighed, yet again, and had lost 4 lbs. I discovered a couple of things. First off, I was finally getting more of my water in, (still not enough but closer to goal). Secondly, I was getting all my protein in, and third, I think I was eating too many carbs. SO, I've had hubby hide the scales. I will weigh every Friday. I also have a Dr's appt on March 4th so I can get an official. Also, Friday night, we went out with some friends to a restaurant (I'm a cheap date, I just eat off of hubbys plate) and then to a country western club. I have not been to a club in about 5 yrs. I had SOO much fun! It's been a long time since I felt comfortable. Mind you, I still didn't feel all the way NORMAL but, at least I felt like I could hold my head high! Now, I drank 3 amaretto sours. I never got drunk. I'm sure the drinks at the bar didn't have much amaretto. Anyhow, the next day, I felt like crap. Massively dehydrated. I drank and drank and drank all day long! Man, did I feel old! I don't expect to get flamed for this night either. I wanted to drink, I did and I enjoyed myself. I know all the ups and downs of drinking. Needless to say, it will probably be a while before we all go out again! Oh well, not a great loss for me. I enjoy being at home a lot. Well, that's my latest update for everyone! Hope all's well in your homefront. For those waiting for surgery or waiting for consult dates..You're in my prayers! This is an amazing journey and you'll all get there sooner than you think!
3/3/03 I decided to update today just to let everyone know that I'm feeling WONDERFUL! I weighed Friday and had lost another pound. I started to get discouraged so, then I decided to take measurements. I couldn't believe it. I'll list them below this post. It's amazing. I woke up this morning and put on my size 16 pants that I bought on Valentine's day and they are too big. I also put on a size 16 shirt today and it fits without showing the boobs on my back! LOL! It's a great day! I've been showered with compliments by everyone lately and I love it. A lot of people don't like all the attention that you get but, if you're one of those people you'd better get used to it. If you go a week without seeing someone they'll comment on you looking different. It's amazing. We went to a Mardi Gras party this weekend and I tell you what, I had shrimp gumbo and it was HEAVEN! Not to mention getting some protein in. I've been told 3 times today that I have a wonderful glow about me. I look like the same old me to me but, whatever, I'll take the compliments any way they come. I'm always smiling and laughing. My collar bones are starting to come through. I am always feeling for them. I can notice them when I turn my head now, so, I figure about 10 more lbs and they'll be there!!! This is a wonderful time in my life. My self-confidence level has increased 50%. I have a support meeting this week and I can't wait! I am SOOO excited about it. I love being able to be with other people that know exactly how I feel. It's SOO exciting. I also have my Dr.s appointment with Dr. Capehart tomorrow and I'll get my official weigh-in. WOO HOO!!!! I wanted to mention that my angel, Annette Shockley, is beginning her caffeine quitting this week. I hope she finds all the strength she needs and I hope if you're reading this you'll share some prayers her way!!! Till next time everyone! Enjoy where ever you are in your journey!!! We're so blessed to be part of this web site and this experience!
Waist - 43.5" - 6.5
Hips - 44.5" - 5.5
Thighs- 34" - 5
Bust - 48" - 3
Arms - 11.5 - 1.5
Total inches lost 21.5!!!!
3/5/03 Hi there everyone! Well, just a quick update to let yall know that the official Dr. Capehart weigh-in is 180. Thats 28 lbs from the hospital and 34 lbs overall. Dr. Capehart said I look wonderful and she was so proud. I was extremely excited! One more appointment goes by and I grow to respect and adore this woman even more!! Amazing! Take care everyone!
3/7/03 Hi gang! Well, Friday morning weigh-in shows me 3 more lbs gone! Thats 37 total! I am NOW at the weight I was 2 yrs ago for my cruise. That's the picture I have below. I went to our 2nd "Belly Busters" support meeting on Wednesday night. I would have to say that the "old" me is beginning to come out. I feel so comfortable around these people. I'm not scared to speak out or act like a crazed idiot. They seem to accept me any way I am. I got to spend more time with my wonderful angel, Annette, and I can't get over how amazingly beautiful this woman is. She has such a great laugh and a gorgeous smile! Then, I had the opportunity to meet Maureen (Annettes other angelette, I'm still dealing with this! The only child thing is hell! LOLOLOL!). Maureen has such a sweet look about her, she seemed comfortable and at home and I'll bet she seems that way everywhere she goes. With that beautiful smile I would imagine she can make anyone smile back! Then, I got to meet Melissa who used to live down the street from me about 5 yrs ago. She still looks so beautiful and she laughs at all my stupid comments so, of course, I hold her dear to me!!! I LOVE being able to be around these people! I feel SOOOO much better when I've been to a meeting! So, Annette and I decided that we need 2 a month. I suggested it to Donny and I'm hoping,hoping,hoping that we can do it! I feel like there's such a connection with these people that I enjoy being able to be around them any time I can!!
3/18/03
Hello everyone! Well, I was on vacation in San Antonio last week and I have to say that I'm feeling absolutely wonderful!!! I am down to 171 and I'm soooo happy! I can't get people to stop pointing out my weight loss these days. Sometimes it does get a little embarrassing. We went to Sea World and walked for 10 hours and I NEVER tired once. My kids were amazed! I even had to slow down for them a couple of times! I can't tell you all how great I feel!
3/31/03 Hi all, haven't updated in a while. Nothing new and exciting going on here. I'm down to 168 and that makes for 47 total from the day of consult. It's a total of 41 since the day of surgery. I'm pretty stoked about it. There are weeks that go by where I don't lose anything and then poof, it'll start coming off like crazy. It is slowing down pretty well though and I'm figuring thats because I haven't exercised NEAR enough! I am going to call Curves this week and find out about joining them. I'm pretty excited about it, I think it would help the weight loss tremendously. Anyhow, like I said, nothing exciting going on. Just counting the days til Wednesday for our support meeting! I can't wait!!! One last thing, I'm sending lots of prayers out to all the friends I've made from this web-site and from my support meeting. I hope you all know how near and dear you are to me. I'm always checking out your profiles to feel like we're keeping in touch. Annette, many special prayers to you honey, you know I'm here if you ever, ever need me!! LOVE YOU! Take care everyone! SMOOCHIES!
4/2/03
Hi all! It's sooo good to see so many updates from our little group of friends! It just makes me warm inside! Speaking of warm, I am IN LOVE with this weather! I just wanted to stop by and let yall know that I went to Curves last night. First thing I can think of is OH MY LORD! I didn't even do a full workout last night and my WHOLE entire body hurt this morning! The Curves lady was so encouraging and I really enjoyed the workout..although, I probably won't have this excited attitude in about a week! I am going to post my inches again. They measured me last night and I was just tickled me to death. I am SOOOOOO excited about our support meeting tonight! I can't WAIT! I miss seeing my friends for such a long time! Thank the good Lord that we're changing the days so I can see them more often! Anyhow, gotta work, so I can make the time go by! Take care! SMOOCHIES!
Waist - 39.5" - 10.5 oh my gawd!!! I can't believe that!
Hips - 41.0" - 9
Thighs- 31" - 9 lady at Curves said she doesn't know what holds me up, said my legs were too little! WHATEVER! LOL
Bust - 47.5" - 3.5 this part of my body is hard-headed
Arms - 11" - 2
Total inches lost 34!!!!
4/21/03 Wow! Could I hold out any longer to update? I have been sooo busy! I love it, love it, love it. I find myself checking the message boards every day but, updating my profile is just like exercising sometimes. You know you should but, you just can't find the damn energy! LOL! Anyhow, things are good here. I'm still on track to be at 150 by my cruise date (5/24/03). I'm sitting at 159 so, I'm feeling great. Went shopping Saturday and I'm in 12's and some 10's on the bottom. The tops are still 12-14. I also purchased my very first Victoria's Secret Push-Up bra woo hoo! These puppies are right under my chin! I'm loving it!!! I have moved on to another side of my world and that is enjoying clothes and shoes. My hubby is gonna go broke! But, I gotta shop for the cruise ya know??? (While I sit here in one of new outfits)! I gotta try it out for the cruise ya know??? Anyhow, I know my sisters out there are trying really hard to keep their wits about them while they wait for dates and appts. I'd just like to take a minute and say that I'm praying for you all every single day! I can't wait for you all to enjoy the greater (lesser?) side of life!! Good luck to all of you that are waiting!
5/1/03
Hello everyone! Just a quick update, I'm down to 156. 59 lbs total. I've been doing nothing but shopping lately. I have moved to a whole new world. Dr. Capehart told me that I'm on track and will probably lose my last 30 in the next few months. I don't know if I acutally want to lose all 30. That will put me down less than I was in high school. But, hey, if that's the worst of my worries then big whoop. I'm counting down the days til my cruise. 22 days!!! I can't wait! Congratulations to Maureen and Melissa for finally getting your dates! Man, Dr.s Hospital isn't gonna know what hit 'em. I am sooo excited for you two!!! Congrats!
5/5/03
Hi everyone. Got some new measurements here and I wanted to share them. Actually, I haven't lost weight in about 2 weeks so, I figured I'd better measure and sure enough. That's where it's been going.
Waist - 37.5" - 12.5
Hips - 41.0" - 9
Thighs- 31" - 9
Bust - 43.5" - 7.5 finally starting to move!!
Arms - 11" - 2
Total inches lost 40!!!!
Shopped all weekend! My poor hubby can't work enough to support my shopping habit! In fact, I shopped at Petite Sophisticate for the first time in my life!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!
5/14/03
Well, everyone, I'm 9 days away from my cruise! I can not wait. I have shopped and shopped and then, I went back and did more shopping and tomorrow....guess what? I've got a couple of things to pick up! hee hee hee! I can't wait for this. I'm already in cruise mode! In other words, I don't want to be at this stinky old work place!!! So, I've been on a plateau for 3 darn weeks so, on Monday of this week, I said this is enough. I have eaten about 120-140 grams of protein every day. I lowered my carbs dramatically. (20 Monday, 25 Tuesday and 20 Today). I have exercised every night and I'm drinking about 65 oz of water! In these last 3 days I cannot tell you how much better I've felt. I'm never hungry! Protein is such a great thing. I KNOW I was focusing on carbs too much! Soooo, drumroll please...I've now lost 2 lbs since Monday and I only have 2 to reach my personal goal of 150 by the cruise! That will be a total loss of 63 lbs by then! Whoa!!! Needless to say, I'm working my butt off! I am also hoping to be down to goal by my birthday! That's only 3 mnths away and only 25 lbs away. Anyhow, my prayers are with all of you guys in your journey! Good luck to every single one of you!
6/1/03 Hello everyone! I'm back and exhausted from a 5 day cruise! LOL! I have to say that this was the BEST time that I've ever had in my life! I wasn't ashamed to do anything, I was so self-confident, I loved all the pictures that we took of us, I got hit on! (ack) and I did things in Cozumel and Playa Del Carmen that I would have NEVER done in the last 15 years! I had the time of my life! So, now, we're going on another at the end of August. We're taking the kids on this little 4 day one and then we're going on another for Memorial Day weekend next year for a week w/no kids! I am addicted! But, I've got my pics and I think I'll use some of these as my after pics. My weight loss has come to a complete stand still in the past 5 weeks. I didn't stress about it on the cruise and I did eat things that I wouldn't have eaten at home, but, I didn't eat very much of them. So, I'll begin my focus again. I'm still 2 lbs away from being normal weight and it's like pulling teeth to get them off. However, I did measure and I'm still losing inches! That's at least promising! I'm going to try to start with some new goals, I need to try to lose 4 lbs a month. This is my new goal and I'll be starting to focus more on this starting this week! Congrats to all of you that are about to have your surgery! It's a great and wonderful thing!!!!!!!
6/9/03
Hello everyone! Wanted to stop in and give an update. I've finally lost my 2 lbs that I've been trying to lose for 5 weeks. I just forgot about stressing about it. I decided not to weigh and poof, there it was. I went to a swimming party this weekend and my family was in awe. They could not stop talking about me. I kept telling them, "Don't....stop"! LOL! Once again my prayers and thoughts to those of you coming up on your dates! Take care to you all!
06/18/03
Hello everyone! I must say that every day seems to be a new and exciting journey for me with this weight loss. I find myself looking at the long term things that I should be careful of. Especially, my food addiction. The past couple of weeks I've really began noticing WHY I'm eating at the times that I do. Sometimes, I eat because it's actually time to eat but, other times during the day I find myself hungry (my head does at least) and I KNOW it's because I need to get busy with something else. People that have other addictions don't understand what it's like to get to have just a little of what you're addicted to and then have to stop. I don't know any alcoholics that have a sip of beer and stop. Nor, do they HAVE to have that sip of beer to live every day. I'm not saying that these people don't have problems, but, what I am saying is it seems like I'll NEVER give up thinking about food on a daily basis. I've started drinking water everytime that I want to snack on something. It's working pretty well but, it's NOT what I want. I hope and pray someday it will be. But, like any other habit, we just take this one day at a time. I have had a steady weight loss in the past week. I'm down to 146 which is 69 lbs total lost. I am amazed by this every single day! I am enjoying life so much more now. Last night was our support meeting and I went like a good little girl. I HAVE to say that it was one of the most informative meetings I've ever been to. We had a discussion about vitamins and what to look for if you're deficient in something. I didn't know about a lot of these and I've been worrying about my vitamins. However, Dr. Ihde and Donny had a lot of information to share. It was a great time! I've watched some of these ladies make such powerful changes and I sit in awe. As I sat in the meeting last night I was across from two women that I admire immensly. They have their surgery next week. Both of them showed great determination and will power for their dates next week. I sit in awe of them also. No fear is a scary thing to me. They seem to know exactly what they need to change their lives and I'm so proud that I've been able to get to know them. God Bless them both!! SMOOCHIES EVERYONE!
6/20/03
Quick measurment update. I was supposed to do this a couple of weeks ago but, it slipped my mind.
Waist 33.5”-16.5
Hips – 39.5”- 10.5
Thighs – 31” – 9
Bust 40.5” -10.5
Arms 11” – 2
Total 48.5 lost!!
Feeling great and enjoying life. Smoochies to all!
7/20/03
Well, today marks my 6 month anniversary. I am weighing in at 136, 79 lbs total. My inches will be posted at the end of this. I saw Dr. Capehart last week and technically I only have 6 lbs to be at a normal BMI, but, I want to lose 11. It's going to be hard, I've found that the more I work out the more I am building muscle. However, if I could tone what I have now and lose 6 more lbs I'd be quite pleased with this surgery. I have to say that more things have changed in my life than I ever thought could change. My self esteem is amazing. My attitude is so different about things. But, yet, some things always stay the same. I still feel like people are looking at me. I still see things jiggling that I feel are disgusting to me. I've noticed that people stop and say hi to me now that never noticed me before. But, I just go with the flow. It's not like I'm someone different, I'm just the same old me. I've always had a smile on my face, but, unfortunately my face isn't what I'm noticing people gawking at. Men are sick individuals and I almost feel raped when some of them look at me. This doesn't make things easy for hubby and I either. I've noticed that he's increasingly becoming more and more jealous. He makes little comments all the time about the men I work with. I've worked with mainly men for 5 yrs however, it never mattered much when I was obese. Sheesh. It's a no win situation sometimes. Overall, I'm happier with myself than I have been in about 20 yrs. I went to Old Navy the other day and bought a size 6 and a size 8 shorts. Both fit fine. Then, I went to Foleys, and found 2 prs of Mudd shorts in Junior 11's that fit fine. So, I don't really know what the hell size I am. I just know I'm a lot smaller! I still miss food but, there's really not anything that I don't eat. I haven't let myself go to those warm chocolate chip cookies that I've wanted for 6 months I'm afraid if I start I won't stop! I can say that this surgery was the utmost wonderful thing I've ever done for myself. Dreams are coming true for my family and myself. I've spent soooo much time being able to play with my kids and I'm even taking an aerobics class w/my oldest. I'm going to be able to help my youngest w/her cheer team this year! Oh my, how things have changed! Well wishes to all that are thinking about surgery, all that are waiting on dates and all that are post op! SMOOCHIES to ALL!!
Waist 33”-17
Hips – 38”- 12
Thighs – 31” – 9
Bust 38” -13
Arms 11” – 2
Total 53"lost!!
8/25/03
Hello everyone! It's been a while since I've been hanging out on the boards and I do feel awful for that. But, my life is so busy sometimes I wonder how I got into this mess. I haven't made it to a support meeting in a month! I am so ashamed! I'm a team mom for my daughter's cheer squad and they have practice on Tuesday night. But, in September, we'll only be having practice on Thursday nights, I should be able to gain some of my life back. I am down to 133 lbs. Which means I'm at a normal BMI. I can't even believe it. It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen happen to me. I didn't think I'd ever be at this point and I got here so quickly! I'm still not at my personal goal or Dr. Capehart's goal for that matter. I want to get to about 125 and she wants me to be about the same. The weight comes off very slow these days...if I lose a pound in 2 weeks I'm happy but, for about 2 months I wasn't losing a thing. I didn't stress out about it at all though. I refuse to let that get me down when I'm wearing size 5/6 clothes! I am amazed! I'm so happy to hear that everyone seems to be doing wonderfully! I hope to get the see people soon at the support meetings! Take care all! SMOOCHIES!
8/22/03 Good day everyone! I am sorry I haven't been keeping in touch but, I'm never, ever home! When I am home I'm doing something silly with the kiddos. I wanted to take a minute and say that I'm truly amazed with this surgery. It has changed my life in so many ways and I have never ever felt so wonderful! I renewed my driver's license on the internet and got it in the mail the other day. Let me just say, OH MY GAWD! My co-workers and family all say the same thing, I am going to be arrested for false id's. This picture was at my all time heaviest of about 240. That means that I've lost 110 since that pic. I feel so much younger and healthier and dear Lord, my daughter even pointed out that I used to have 4 chins! LOL! Life is good and every one of you will get to experience all of this sooooooonnnnnnn if you're not already! I'm at 130 and loving life! Updated measurements are following.
Waist 32”-18
Hips – 36.5”- 13.5
Thighs – 29” – 11
Bust 36.5” -14.5
Arms 9” – 4
Total 61"lost!!
10/31/03 Hey everyone! Well, just wanted to give a quick update. I'm at 127 and loving my life! I haven't been this happy in a very long time! Let it be known that there are some bad things that happen after having this surgery! MEN!!! I am dealing with more jealousy from my husband in the last 2 months than I've EVER dealt with in 13 years we've been together! Somtimes it's more than I think I want to deal with but, I realize this is hard for him. I am getting much more attention than I ever did and I'm sure it's strange for him! We'll work through it though! I hope everyone is doing wonderfully! From the latest updates it sure looks like they are! God Bless everyone! Take care!
12/02/03
Well everyone, I did it. I've joined the century club. Funny thing is I didn't even mean to. I was planning on stopping at 120 and poof, before you know it I'm at 115. It stops here though. I'm in a size 3-5 juniors, small shirts, sweaters and I'm LOVING my life!!! I haven't been this happy within myself in probably 18 years. It's amazing! I'm still feeling great and I'm enjoying SOOO much of my life with my kids. My oldest daughter is a competitive cheerleader and I've enjoyed SOO much with her lately. Tons of competitions and extra time spent with both of my girls! My husband, on the other hand, is an obnoxious, jealous man. He's not the least bit fun any longer and I feel bad for disliking him so much. I'm working on it though. We'll see how it goes! Good to hear everyone is doing so well! Take care all!
1/20/2004
Happy Re-Birthday to ME!Today marks 1 year since I did the most amazing thing that I could have ever done! It marks a year since I have felt tired,unhappy,discouraged and ashamed. I feel like I have done so much good for myself and my family. When I looked in the mirror this morning I thought...hmmm, what were you thinking a year ago? Well, I looked back on my profile and I remember what I was thinking...I was thinking...OH MY GAWD, what am I doing and how can I get out of it? But, now as I look back I realize that I was so lucky to have had this opportunity. My life is truly blessed and I've really started paying attention to some things in this past week about how my life has changed. You see a year ago, I was tired if I went and did something one night a week. Now, I find myself gone 4 nights a week and for some odd reason I'm still able to get up and do more. The odd reason is that over 100 lbs are gone from my body and I feel like I could catch the moon! I want to let anyone know if you're thinking about this surgery, don't think anymore, JUST DO IT!
4/23/04
Well, I found a minute in my busy schedule and I thought I'd update my profile. Everything is still going wonderful here although there have been some major changes in my life. First off, my divorce will be final on May 15th. Divorce you say? Yes, over the course of the year after having this surgery my "soon to be ex" began progressively loosing his mind (that's the only thing I can attribute it to). I was accused of cheating, lieing and all that comes with it. I was told that I couldn't be friends with certain friends that I'd had in my life for over 5 yrs (they are male and married and I was in no way attracted to them). So, it just got worse and worse. Finally, it came to blows and he's moved out. He's been out since the first of March and I can't remember when I was happier! I'm enjoying my life and I no longer have someone controlling me and making me feel like everything I do is wrong. In the meantime, I'm going to electronics class Mon, Wed nights..Cheer practice for my girls on Tues, Thurs and Saturday nights and trying to spend time with friends and family on the other days/nights! It's crazy and I love it! My children and I had to move in with my mom but, believe it or not, I'm still happier than I've been in years!!! So, it's awesome to see so many new faces on here and still see the same faces that are making such wonderful changes in their lives! Take care everyone! Smoochies!
June 2, 2004
Hello everyone. I have to say, first of all, that the members on this site look amazing. I check in at least once a week and I'm amazed to see how wonderfully everyone is progressing. We have all been given such a wonderful gift in our lives and for myself, I have to remember every single day what it was like to be that "other" person that I've lost over the past 17 months. I can (and sometimes, do) eat everything that I want but, I watch my weight every single day. If I get up over 115, I fill up on protein that day and then, get myself stabilized again. My life has changed so much. I can't put it into words. I've met a new man and he's way too good to be true. He's in the Air Force and he's the utmost wonderful, good-hearted person that I could have asked for. Keep an eye out for updates on him and I, I can see it being a long-standing strong relationship. WOW! Amazing to me that I've come this far. With all changes comes ups and downs and I've had my fair share of those. My old self comes out sometimes, the low self-esteem, the depression, the loneliness but, I have to shove her out of the way and bring back the girl that I've tried so hard to become. Struggles make us so much stronger and it's definately done that for me. As I said before, I'm SOO happy to see everyone on here is progressing so well, Stick with all your dreams! Smoochies to everyone! XOXO's
1/21/2005
Wow! I truly suck at doing my updates. Let it be known that I DO check this website at least 1 or 2 times a week and see what's going on with people. My life is a whirlwind and I'm still loving it! Today is my 2 yr anniversary and I can totally say that it's still the smartest thing that I ever did. In the last 6 months, I've had a crazy life i.e. spent time with that new man that I just fell head over heals in love with, met and fell in love with his kids and his family, got engaged, lived thru him leaving me in November and moving to Germany for 2 yrs and now, I'm just missing him every day. Talking to him as much as I can and counting the days til I see him in June. We hope to be married in June but, we're waiting to see how this works for us. I'm so darn lonely it's pitiful but, hey, I've had some wonderful time with my baby girls. We do SO much together! I love the fact that I can run with them, dance with them, walk with them, shop with them....ALL of it! My daughter's are constantly talking about how my oldest and I share clothes and actually her pants are about a size too big for me! COOL! I'm smaller than the 13 yr old! So, the girls are still doing competitive cheerleading, we're on the go all the time and I still love that too! I am hoping to get some plastic work done this year, after I get some dental work done. I want a tummy tuck and a boob job and then one of these days I'd like a butt! I'm still not sure I'm ready to be cut on so, I'm taking it day by day! I'm weighing in at 125 and that's just about where I'm planning on trying to stay for a long, long time!! Good luck to all that are thinking about this...expect HUGE, WONDERFUL changes in your life! SMOOCHIES!