Spiritus

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Today is the day for my lapband removal.  Today is possibly the day that I will have a sleeve resection. I am nervous of course, but there is a voice asking me...."why?"  If losing weight is simple calories in and energy out...then why do I have such a hard time keeping the work that I've accomplished before off?

I hope today will not be my last day on earth.  I have my pet chickens, cats and family to look after.  I have alot of loose ends hanging and I need to, I want to, tie them up and put them away for good.

I should be happy that I do not have a drug, alcohol or sex problem, I have a food problem. I only need to lose 75 to 90 pounds and in reality that is not much at all.  It is only my fat armour.

Received a call from scheduling and my VSG has been moved up to NEXT WEEK!   The office offered me February 7th, this coming Monday and I accepted!  I am now, very terrified and reluctant to go through with surgery.  My pre-op is Wednesday with Dr Mun and his nurse. I am going to tell him what I am truly hoping for (in regards to ounces) and if he will not do it, then I just might just have my band removed and wait for another surgeon.  At least, that is what my "control freak" alter ego is threatening.

Why am I doing this?  My stomach is already stirring.....

I have my consultation date of January 12th at 10am!  I am so happy, I thought that I had at least one more month of waiting but I managed to move up my original consultation date of February 2nd to this Wednesday!!  The consult is with the new surgeon, Dr Mun and even one of the bariatric nurses told me  "You're going to love him!" I have a lot of questions and hopes! 

This was my first day at Kaiser - Carson's OPTIONS class.  I was very dishearted to watch their scale weigh me at almost 10lbs more than mine!  They made up weigh ourselves with our shoes on...and my shoes were heavy sandles.  I hate those sandals and can't wait for my zories to arrive from WM so the shock won't be as extreme.
Tomorrow officially starts my diet and exercise routine...have to lose at least 10% before I can see the surgeon. I am hoping that when I achieve that goal, that it will be enough for me to proceed without surgery as I have a different opinion about WLS - since I've already it.

Well, the results from my UGI is that I am too tight and the referral for an unfill has been ordered.  I find it funny that it is simply being overfilled that is causing the pain but, I guess it is. I also received a new referral for a Sleep Apnea test, which I am happy about.  I attended the OPTIONS Orientation today and will hopefully start the August 17th Track for the OPTIONS program.
I am happy that I will be unfilled, I am happy that I will not need emergency surgery (as of now) and that I will complete OPTIONS program and get another Sleep Apnea test.
I am hoping that I will get under 200 by the Options end...I may even opt out of revision surgery except to have the band removed.
I am exhausted. I am tired of dealing with my house being renovated, it is so darn stressful. I have to go back to basics to get rid of this weight. Regardless of what others may say, it is calories in and quality of calories in, and calories out.  I have to get off the couch and driver's seat. I have to start tracking my food intake, make sure I am eating regularly and moving around, meaningful movement and drinking water. I have to stop drinking so much splenda because it bloats me and makes me cranky.
When am I going to start taking care of myself the way I should?

I had an UGI early this morning for a suspected slip. It's been almost 3 years now and I can confidently say that I am glad that the LB will be shortly removed.  I didn't have all the expected problems that alot of fellow LB'rs have, I've always been very leary of fills and because of it, have not had any more than 3 small fills over the course.  I've had pain/burning at times from almost the beginning and it was always in one spot of my belly. I brought it to the attention of the medical professionals but was met with funny explanations about tissue slip, gas and even "I don't know." 
So, to make a long story short....my band should be removed sometime this year. Possibly this month depending upon the severity of the UGI results.  My new surgeon first offered a revision early last year, stupidly I didn't take him up on it. This year, after a heavy piece of humble pie, I am now looking forward instead of the past. I am leaning towards the Sleeve but I still have a few more questions for the surgeon before I proceed.

This is the third day of pbing/sliming. I am not pbing with everything I eat, I do notice that I'm making more slime but even that is not coming out with every meal.  All I know is that I PB/Slime everyday now and my throat and back of my mouth feels like it has "raw hot spots" on it. It is irritating, even when the toothpaste swirls around in the back of my mouth in the morning/night. The times it hits is mostly in the later afternoon and at night...although I do not wake up spitting up.

I'm on liquids, yogurt, soups and even then after a few swigs of protein shake or spoons of yogurt, I immediately start burping, gurgling and then I get up, open my mouth and out comes whatever I just had.  It's even happened with room temp water!  I've heard about the two week delayed kick in for some fills, even about the TOM tightness and wouldn't you know it's been officially 2 weeks and THAT TOM too.

I just called my surgeon's office and his nurse said to take one crushed Prilosec once a day, liquid Advil for a few days to relieve the inflammation and stay on liquids for at least two days.  Call back if things don't improve or get worse.  So I'll just hit the drugstore and take it easy.

On a brighter note, I just purchased a BodyBugg and discovered Mint flavored liquid Maalox tastes good!

Well today was eventful! I did n't think that I could feel the band filling but boy did I ever! My gullet really opened up and up came some burps...gross, I know but neat! It felt like a firm hand pushed down and up on my stomach itself. The whole experience was quick, easy and educational. I know can visual my band in real time.
I was given 4 ccs of fluid in my band today and instructed to stay on liquid at least 2 days, preferably 3 and to start on mushies very very slowly.
It's comforting really...knowing that for the next few days I will be regulated to liquids for sake of my band, it's after that stage that I am more concerned about.
NO MORE PANETONE!

What a difference a day makes! I am feeling so much better today. I still smart some around my cuts. I get tired much faster. I AM NOT HUNGRY.

I have to get it into my head that I now have a medical implant. The new noises and sensations it gives me is both exciting and daunting. Although I am looking forward to my new life...I am truly hoping that the hunger will be a thing of the past. I think I will start seeing a therapist over the food thing.

Yee haw! I didn't chicken out!!

10/16 - 11/06 = liquid diet
11/07 - 11/14 = mushies
11/15 - 11/22 = soft solids
11/23 - solids

OK, just received call from the Insurance Coordinator, Cynthia, telling me that my surgery time was moved up! I will not be the last patient of the day, I will be the second. Saves me a bit of tension time waiting around.

Hopefully later I will get a call informing me that I will be again moved up to the first spot of the day!