stellasnyder1

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It's been a ride for sure. I became obsessed with the scale. Was even getting up in the middle of the night to weigh myself. If I gained 1 pound I would obsess on it but then I would lose it within the same day or the next. Decided I needed some help so went back to counseling. Worked through my obsession but really didn't do well during Christmas holidays. Thanksgiving went good I ate but didn't gain a pound so I was proud of myself.  I have gained 3 pounds since last week though. Stress eating! Scares the Crap out of me. I have always been a stress eater and am so scared to go back to my old ways. Promising myself to get back on track starting now!

Now at 9 Mo's out. Cannot believe how time has flown by. Those first few months were really hard I have to say. Unfortunately, my back has not gotten any better since losing all the weight. The doctor had suggested that I lose at least 80 pounds and my back will clear up. So seeing a new doctor on Monday. I am on much less medication than I was 9 Mo's ago. No more high blood pressure! Cholesterol is great. Vitamin levels are good too. Went from a size 24 pant to a 10/12 now. Of course I get the you are too skinny now. REALLY...come on I am not to skinny just look very different than I did last year. I have an new addiction though! Shopping! Thankfully I am a bargain shopper and thrift stores are great too. Especially, because my size changed so often. Now I just need to keep fit!

So I'm 2 1/2 mo's out now. I have to say this has been the hardest thing I have ever done. Don't get me wrong I don't regret it. Somedays are good and somedays I am sick all day long. My husband says I can only eat something 3 times and on the 3rd time I throw it up. I think he cursed me because it does happen. Just when I find something I like and it works, no it's wrong. Oh well they say it takes awhile to get your pouch working. V8 works good and I get my water in too. Still doing a protien shake (30g) in the morning and only can do the premier protien. All others taste bad or make me sick. No fun going to work sick. My daughter says it's no fun going to lunch with me anymore. Which has been a little hard because that is what we did for fun (eating out). Shopping has replased it though. I have gone from a 24 pants to an 18 and a tight 16. 4x shirt to and XL. I have a waste now and it's crazy. Although, I have lost weight in my wrist and fingers too.....One day at a time is my motto...

So I'm home from the hospital today. Monday July 18 I was scheduled for surgery. Was there on time. Got my 2 yes 2 IV's put in and my heprin shot to the stomach and the wait began. I was scheduled for 2:30 and finally at 5:00 my surgeon showed up. He had a very long surgery run over and would it be ok if we came back the next day. Of course since he looked so tired. So Tuesday July 19 surgery went good. Don't really remember much of that day but I was super tired and that everytime they put something into one of my new IV's it burned really bad. So needless to say before I left the hospital I had a total of 6 IV's put in. Talk about bruises. Have a bruise for every heprin shot in my stomach too. Otherwise everything went good. Walking out the gas pains and sipping, sipping, sipping.

Today is July 7. I saw the surgeon on the 5th and his office scheduled me for the 18th of this month. Wow...I thought I had everything under control. Now I'm nervous. I am on day 2 of my Pre-Op diet. Day 1 was really hard especially because my husband decided to bake a chocolate cake and ice it with cream cheese frosting (thanks honey) but I didn't have any. Thank god for Sugar-Free Popsicles. Day 2 went much smoother except I was craveing Triscuit Thins. Why I don't know because they aren't even my favorite cracker.I know this is what I worked so hard to do and I really want this to save my life. Just nervous. I have done tons of research, asked a million questions. But unfortunately I also like to read all the horror stories people have posted. I'm just going to keep the positive outlook and stop reading the bad things. 11 Days till the big day! Yes, I know this is what I need to do for myself and really my family too. I want to be around for my beautiful little grandsons and be able to play with them too. No more saying no to playing and chasing after them on their bikes.  Well just one day at a time!