stiles31611

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Well, I have done it.  I have gained weight.  and the sad thing is....I don't care.  I don't know what is going on with me but I don't like it and I have no control over it.  Yea.  I am so fusterated.

This past weekend I was going through some clothes of my daughters when I came across this box.  It was full of scrub tops and bottoms that I couldn't wear anymore because I got so fat.  (I wear scrubs everyday for work.) So I tried one on and one by one they all fit.  And not snug fit either.  I was super excited.  So I went through all my scrubs and any that I wear when I am having a "fat day"  I threw out.  Now my closet is full of bright new scrubs. 

It's Friday afternoon and I am finally feeling normal again.  Thank God.  I can't remember the last time I was this sick.  Now I wish I had a scale because  for the last four days I haven't really eaten anything.  I know that is now what the diet says but oh well.  I am glad though that I feel better for the weekend. 

Well I have been sick since Sunday (so five straight days now).  Went to the doctor yesterday and she said I either have the H1N1 flu or a severe viral infection.  How in the world I got it? I have no clue.  Been in bed for the past three days and my diet has gone straight out the window.  Well I barely eat anything but I have been drinking a lot of herbal teas.  When I went to the Dr yesterday I had lost another pound.  I think that is just because I am sick.  I want to weigh myself on Monday.  It sucks to be sick.  Well back to bed again. 

It's been four weeks now and this sucks!!!   The doctors and nurses don't tell you that you could be hungry all the time and have little or no restriction until you get your first fill.  I want to eat everything in sight.  I feel like I am playing a huge mind game against myself.  Sometimes I win, and sometimes I don't.  The surgeon said that until I get my fill I may experience these feelings.  It sucks!!  I do not regret doing the surgery but it is just really hard to stay on the path. 
     Plus I am so proud of boyfriend.  He had the Rue N Y surgery done in June and he is already down 157 pounds!!  He is a great support partner but sometimes it is hard because he looses 7 pounds in one week without trying and I can barely loose one! 

To date I am 16 pounds down.