stinki
Things I want to do:
1. Be able to wrap a regular size bath towel around my body and tuck it in at the top. - I did this today! 10/06/03
2. Walk from my office to my car and not get short of breath or feel as if I need to sit down. - 10/01/03 - I can do this now and not even think about walking the distance!
3. Participate in the Hospital week Olympics "physical" and "brainiac" events.
4. Sit in an airplane seat and not have to ask for the "extender" belt and not worry that I will be asked to pay double for my seat. - 06/08/03 - I've lost enough weight pre-op to be able to do this!
5. Get too small for the smallest size clothes in my closet - 11/29/03 - WOOT!
6. Go to the clearwater creek outlet store and buy a whole new wardrobe at goal.
7. Put my grandson on my lap and actually HAVE a lap! - Xavier is here from Germany and there is plenty of room for him on my lap! (March 26, 2004)
8. Have my husband be able to pick me up and carry me again.
April 9, 2006
I am begining the next phase of my life. On Thursday, April 13, 2006 I will begin the first of 3 stages of my reconstructive surgeries. I will have a face/neck lift and breast lift/implants. My Surgeon will be Dr. Wiliam Nisbet in Salem, OR. I must admit that I am a bit nervous... they are going to be peeling my face off after all! Will I like what I see after it heals? Will the scars bother me? Won't know until the time comes. This surgery alone will be $13,570. I have gained some weight back. Up to 150, but I know that is normal. I am trying to keep a healthy attitude about weight and food. If nothing else I am heaathy and happy and I suppose I couldn't ask for more.
September 2, 2005
Watching the news on what has been going on in New Orleans. What a ghastly mess.... I was just there 1 month ago and I just can't begin to imagine how changed everything must be from what I experienced.
As for my health..... I had surgery on Monday, August 29th.... lapraoscopic exploratory and repair of internal hernia. Dr. Patterson told my family that she found what she was looking for and fixed it. Now to wait and see if it did fix the problem. I am doing ok..... the incisions are sore but tolerable, the worst of it has been the headache I have had all week. I am not sure that is fun. I am so very grateful that Dr. Patterson was allowed to do my surgery.
August 15, 2005
Still hadn't received my approval letter from my insurance company so I called them today to see what was up. THey had me down for the wrong procedure.... a colonoscopy for goodness sake! So I told them what was going to be done and after a few hours they called back and said ok.... get it done.... whew! I have been under a great deal of stress lately. My grandmother died on August 4th. Nana was as close to me as a mother and although she had been suffering it was hard to let her go. Not the best time to go into a surgery, but I need to get this done before I have another attack and before the insurance company changes their mind. So, on August 31st I go into Providence, Portland hospital and get things taken care of.
July 28, 2005
Good news! After months of fighting my insurance cmpany has finally caved in and has agreed to let Emma Patterson do my surgery at Providence in Portland. Thank goodness. It is such a huge relief to know that I will have someone that knows what they are doing do my laparoscopic surgery. Now I can get this over with, heal and move on to fighting for plastic surgery. Ain't life grand! Many happy and healthy days to all of you.
June 23, 2005
HAPPY 2nd RE-BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Two years post-op now and still dealing with my schizo mind regarding body image. I think on some level I will always think of myself as fat, and yet at the same time I know that I am a normal weight. Many tell me I am too thin but I think that is only because of the contrast of the new me to the old me. My weight has stayed right around 137 lbs for about a year now. I do so wish I could have the reconstructive plastic surgery that I need.
For a year now I have been dealing with intermittent abdominal pain. It starts just to the left of my belly button and moves up to the top part of my abdomen and back through my back. By the time it gets going really good you can't touch anywhere on my belly without it hurting. I get a bit bloated but no nausea, vomiting or change in my bowels. These attacks can last for a week at a time incapacitating me. About 3 months ago I went to see Dr. Hong about this (since Emma is out on maternity leave). He said that what he thinks is going on is something called "Petersen's Defect". This is an internal hernia that is revealed after massive weight loss and the bowel slips into the hole and causes pain... then slips out again. About 10% of us have this defect and it is often missed on all the scans, x-rays and tests that are run. You have to go in by lap or open surgery, find it and correct it. All well and good except that my insurance won't pay to have it done at the hospital that Dr. Hong practices at.... I have to have it done at my hospital. Of the 3 surgeons that practice at my hospital, only 1 said he'd do the surgery. So, for the last 3 months this surgeon has wasted my time and money doing every scan, x-ray and test under the sun and guess what... THEY DON'T SHOW ANYTHING! Big surprise huh? To top it off he said he didn't want to do anything unless I had pain again. 3 weeks ago, I had pain again.... went to the ER.... had more scans that should nothing and the surgeon was supposed to call and check on me the next day.... he never called, my pain lasted a week as usual. The pain is bad enough but Dr. Hong says I am at risk of bowel death, leading to a colostomy, sepsis, or death and knowing that I am scared. Saw the local surgeon in a "hall" conference at work the other day and he asked how I was, sarcastically I said to him "fine NOW".... he asked if I wanted to sit on this awhile longer.... I told him... hell no I am tired of being in so much pain and being incapacitated for a week at a time. Grudgingly he said... guess we'd better move on this, but I am out of town next week. Luckily I am too and I know when I get back in town next week I will have to push him. Dr. Hong, bless his heart is still trying to fight my insurance, but either way.... something has to be done.
Sorry for going on so long. I don't want to give the wrong impression.... when I am not having these bouts of pain I am very happy and healthy and life is sooooo good. I don't regret for a moment what I have done and all the wonderful and amazing benefits I have reaped.
All the best to all of you, and may you have many happy and healthy years ahead of you.
January 3, 2005
As the saying goes.... time flys. I am 18 months out now and loving every minute of it. I am happy, healthy and energetic. I still have rare moments of things not agreeing with me. Rice and pasta cause excrutiating pain to the point that I feel I can't breathe.... OWIE! The skin is amazing.... bathing is soooo interesting with all the skin floating about. Like many I hope to have plastic surgery, but that all depends on how much money I can save for it. I had lasik eye surgery 3 months ago so the transformation is even more amazing. Good luck to all!
September 6, 2004
The weight loss has slowed down now.... I am at 142 lbs. which makes 187 lbs. lost so far. I would still like to get to 120 lbs., but if I never do that is perfectly fine with me. I was just telling my husband tonite that sometimes I feel like I am living in someone else's house (new home), in someone else's life (new job, new state), and someone else's body (see above!).... to say my life is a 360 from what it had been is an understatement. Thank you.... thank you.... thank you! for all my blessings.
July 27, 2004
Hmmmmm... let's see... what's kept me from updating? LIFE! I have finally moved into my new home and love it. I am now no longer even considered overweight. WHen I got on the scale I was shaking. I have lost 185 lbs. so far. I only have 4 more lbs to go for the Dr's goal weight of 140... and another 24 lbs. to get to where I want. At my 1 year appt. Dr. Emma started talking about plastic surgery plans... holy cow...
What can I say about the changes in my life over the last year.... my life is COMPELETLY changed. My surgery anniversary date was truly my re-birthday. All of my health problems have resolved. I now walk distances that terrified me. I can breathe! And, can you say cute clothes.... Even my little grandson seems more affectionate towards his old Gwamma. Guess I will have to do something about putting up pix here. Be healthy... be happy!
April 12, 2004
Where has the time gone?! I am now down 161 lbs. and weigh 168 lbs. According to my surgeon she thinks I only need to lose another 28 lbs. I want to lose another 48 lbs. though. Even if I didn't lose another pound I honestly would have to say I'd be happy. My last appt. in March, my surgeon said I was ahead of the curve for most post-ops at this point. All my labwork continues to be perfect thank goodness. I have taken to not drinking my protein on the weekends to give myself a break from it is since I can hardly stand to drink it anymore. So much has happened in the last couple of months. Bought myself a little Miata convertible - a little car for the little me, our new house is finally showing some progress with the builders, my son and his family have moved in with us from Germany until things get going for them, and my husband has finally gone back to work. Life is good!
February 1, 2004
187 lbs. now which makes me down 142 lbs. I still have 67 lbs. to go and everyone says they don't see where I can take it off of. I am feeling bones in spots where I haven't been able to feel them in years. Going into a store and looking for clothes on the "Normal" side is kinda like a starving person being turned loose in a smorgasbord. I could buy everything in sight, yet I know that soon I will be too small for anything I buy today. Hubby said he didn't know what was more expensive.... the surgery, or the need to constantly buy new clothes. The clothes are great, but being healthier is even better. I caught a glimpse of myself in a full length mirror and thought.... look at the skinny gal (of course that is relatively thinking compared to my previous size).
January 1, 2004
I made my goal for the new year, I am down to 200 lbs. today.... 129 lbs. lost so far. I can't wait until I can get on the scale and it is under 200! It is mind-boggling to think back on this past year and realize all of the changes I have gone through. My weight loss, as you can see, has slowed down quite a bit, but I am still losing and that is what counts. I wish that my best-friend would make the decision to have this surgery, but, I can understand. It took me 15 years to make up my mind. But, I am soooo glad that I did finally make the decision to go ahead and never look back. Happy New Year everyone.... here's to another year of health and wonderous weight loss!
December 1, 2003
I weigh 209 lbs now. I have lost 120 lbs., the amount of weight that I hope to eventually weigh when I get done with this journey, the thought is mind-boggling! I had to buy a new pair of jeans on Sunday and got my butt into size 16's, comfortably I might add. Only one more size to go to what I can consider "normal", a size 14.... Marilyn Monroe was a size 14, I figure if it is good enough for Marilyn... hey hey.... I have only 89 lbs. to go to reach goal. My parents were up for Thanksgiving, I hadn't seen them in about 4 months, they were absolutely amazed, my Mom was teary-eyed. She introduced me to my Dad and asked if he'd "met me", his answer.... "not in about 30 years" :O). It was so nice to see them happy and saying that it has all been worth it.
November 1, 2003
October 30th was my 50th birthday. I can't believe I am 50 years old (although I only admit to be 29 when pinned down!). I am down 107 lbs., what a wonderful birthday present. My husband calls me tiny now, but I still have 102 lbs to go to goal. I am finally starting to get something of an appetite, which may not be a good thing. I am keeping my calories around 500-700. Technically I can have more, but weight loss is slower and I want to take advantage of this time. Still can't tolerate meat too well, but I am able to to control portions better so that I don't get that horrible overeating feeling. Thank goodness that has only really happened about 3 or 4 times. I'd do anything to avoid that!
October 12, 2003
100 lbs. today!
I have reached my first goal of 100 lbs. gone way before my expected date of 6 months postop. I did it in 16 weeks !
October 1, 2003
I'm down 91 lbs. now, but I have been plateaued for about 2 weeks. I'm not too concerned though.. I don't eat enough to keep a 2 yr. old alive so I know it will start coming off again. I finally had to break down and go to a second hand store to buy some clothes for work, mine were literally falling off! I can get into a size 18 now... that is down 10 clothes sizes!! WOO HOO! I am waiting for my 3 month post-op lab work to come back. I am anxious to see how my nutritional status is and of course my H&H.
September 1, 2003
Another month gone by, 10 weeks post-op now. My weight is down 82 lbs. It is hard to believe I only have 18 more lbs. to go to reach 100 lbs. lost. It seems to go so slow and then BAm, I am down 10 lbs. more. I fit into all the clothes I have stashed away now. I am sure that by the end of the month I will need to buy some for work. I have lots of jeans that fit me now, but only 1 pair of dress slacks for work that fits me. I have not been tolerating meat well and tend to avoid it these days. So now I try to find alternate sources of protein. I checked out some samples at vitalady.com and found the Proplete Gold Orange Dreamsicle protein supplement. It is a bit on the sweet side, but it doesn't have that chemical whey taste the others have, and I only need to mix it in 4 - 6 oz. of water. This makes it easy to get it down fast.
August 1, 2003
Nearly 6 weeks post-op now. I am down 64 lbs. Everyone at work is floored at the difference in me already. I can't walk 2 feet without someone coming up to me to talk about the changes. Even people who don't know about the surgery come up to me and say I look and seem so different... it's the haircut, new glasses (not).... what is it! It's great to have the response. My weight loss is so erratic now. I might lose a lb. a day for a couple of days... then go 3 days before I lose another 1/2 to 1 lb. I find myself falling into the trap of thinking "why isn't the weight coming off faster?" I have to talk to myself and remind myself that I AM continuing to lose weight and to just cool my jets. I am getting better at gauging how much to eat. But, I am having a heck of a time forcing myself to drink my protein drink... I HATE the taste of the whey based protein now.... UGH. I do have a "snack" of unsweetened applesauce with the addition of unflavored protein powder.... it disguses it just enough to make it palatible.
July 18, 2003
Here I am nearly 4 weeks post-op and down 23 lbs. (57 lbs altogether). My mouth still tastes horrible all the time... I am wearing my toothbrush out.... I am thinking it must be Ketosis causing it. I have lost all of my enjoyment of food. That's not to say I don't have cravings and food fantasies, but when it comes right down to enjoying food... uh uh, it's just not there. I've experienced the dreaded "over eating and eating to fast feeling". It feels like this HUGE thing is caught under your breastbone and it has nowhere to go. I am going to try to avoid that at ALL costs.
July 5, 2003
I had so much fun today trying on things in my closet... I will have what is like a whole new wardrobe by the time I go back to work on the 21st. Even my shoes which no longer fit me are loose! What a trip.
July 2, 2003
This morning is the first time I felt anything close to weepy. I am so tired of putting bitter nasty tasting stuff in my mouth. I have only been taking my Percocet at night to help me rest well and decided last night I would try to sleep without it. Well, I did "sleep" until 03:30 but tossed and turned the whole time.... my back ached, my hips hurt, my largest incision pulled....and I had a nagging headache. None of these major things, but I am so frustrated that I just can't pop a couple of ibuprofen or tylenol in my mouth instead of the big guns. I tried the chewable form of tylenol and it was still bitter, and I am afraid that the liquid form would be too sweet for me. UGGGHHHH. But hell, if this is the worse I have to put up with I am a fortunate woman.
I am starting to have an appetite and get hungry now when it is time for meals. I have also started having cravings... crusty bread (and I am not even a bread eater), anything smothered in italian red sauce and cheese. Last night... Salami and cheese sandwich... ohhhhhhhh. The evil side of me is awakening!
Yesterday was sorta a plateau day, only a .5 lb weight loss. But that is ok, I can see this is going to work, and besides, it was coming off so fast it was freakish.
June 28, 2003
Will I ever feel like eating or drinking again? I can see how easily you could fall into not doing either. Food and drink is more of a punishment now, I have no interest in putting something into my stomach when it already feels so full. I am struggling to get in 40 oz. of liquids a day. I think I should stay off puree for a bit and concentrate on just liquids for now. It is almost scary how fast the weight is falling off me. I have lost 7.5 lbs in only 5 days, to make a total of 41.5 lbs since January when I started behaving. I admit that pre-op I felt like alot of people, wondering if the surgery would work for me... but now I am scared it may work too well. I know it is early days yet and that I have to give myself time to heal, but as I have said before.... I am not a patient person.
June 26, 2003
Just wanted to let u all know that I came through fine. I came home from the hospital yesterday. Everyone (including the medical staff) was amazed at how well I did and couldn't believe I had just had surgery. But, it caught up with me yesterday afternoon after I got home - big time bloating which caused more discomfort. I had 3 huge farts during the night so I might be slightly less tense in the abdomen now. To top it all off, every med has to be crushed..... that doesn't always set well with u. Even though the Percocet has to be crushed and is bitter, it is worth it cuz it works faster. I have been setting here waiting for it to kick in and it seems it has cuz I just caught myself staring at the screen. Guess I will lay down while I can.
June 23, 2003
Here's how my day of surgery went: I got up at 3:00 am to shower and finish packing my toiletries. Gave my Dad a hug and a kiss (he was staying behind to watch their dog), and watched the tears in his eyes, I know he is afraid for me. Mom, Tom and I piled into the car a bit after 4:00 am for the hour and 15 min. drive to the hospital. We made it to Good Samaritan about 15 min. before my required 5:30 am appt. to find that admitting didn't even open until 5:30, so we had to wait. The clerk put my band on (after checking for accuracy) and took me back to Same Day Surgery by 5:45 am. My nurse Bev was a sweetie and got me into regulation hosptial gown (geez I love their pt. gowns...they make me feel tiny they are so big). We got my vitals done, packed away my clothes and waited for the I.V. nurse to come by. Mark did his best but, he had a terrible time starting my I.V. He dug around several times in 3 different areas before it was officially pronounced "good". After that I was taken to the pre-op holding area and my anesthesiologist gave me a couple of mg of Versed I.V. I really wasn't nervous but is was nice to get "mellow". I don't remember much in the OR, saw the 2 T.V. monitor screens and was told I was going to sleep soon.... and that was it. Next thing I know I was being awakened in the Recovery room..... freezing. When they wheeled me to my room I was wide awake and my mom's face was so relieved. Within 2 hours I was up and walking the halls. I did great the whole time I was in... what bothered me the most was my back.
June 22, 2003
Tomorrow is the big day. Today is Bowel Prep day.... what fun. Fleet's Phosphosoda 1 1/2 ounces... hard to describe the taste - sweet, bitter, EXTREMELY salty. One big gulp and it was down followed by a quick glass of water to get the taste out of my mouth. Then it sat like a ball in the pit of my stomach.... lurking. The stooling began with huge belly cramps. Fair warning, don't get more than 10 feet away from the John!
June 13, 2003
I've just returned from 6 days in San Antonio. I tried to be as good as possible with my diet while I was gone, but it sure wasn't easy travelling. I fully expected to have gained a couple of pounds, but to my surprise, I have lost a couple more pounds.... down 32 lbs. pre-op now! And that's with my legs so swollen I can hardly stand it. Only 10 more days to go now until I am on the other side.... bring it on!!!!
June 6, 2003
Today was my last visit to the surgeon before I have my surgery.... 16 days to go now! Did all my pre-admit stuff with Good Samaritan. Still have to do a pregnancy test within 3 days of surgery (will have this done at my hospital). Being pregnant would be the second coming of Christ in my case... ain't gonna be happening! Today broke a record for heat that has stood since 1948 in the Portland area... in some places it got up to 106 F.... and boy did it feel like it. Surprisingly I am still not nervous about the surgery and no regrets... keep wondering how long that will last.
May 21, 2003
I'm approved! In less than a week (once they found my papers) my insurance company has approved me for the R-N-Y. My surgery will be June 23rd! My Gosh that is only a month away. I can't get my head around it yet. I am on my way to a whole new life :O)
May 16, 2003
Checked with my insurance today and my file has been open a whole whopping ONE day now. At least they know about me and told me that they have 2 weeks to get back on the approval/denial. Wait.... wait.... wait..... wait.
May 13, 2003
Ok, something was niggling at me telling me to CALL my insurance.... so I did. Guess what? They haven't heard of me. Said they don't have a file open on me... denied anyone from Dr. Patterson's office called and talked to them. Holy freakin' #*(&%^$^ ! So, tried to call the docs insurance lady and all I got was her answering machine.... and of course she hasn't called me back. I am SOOOOOOO steamed, 2 1/2 weeks of waiting for nothing! Gawd how I hate this whole process.
May 9, 2003
Today is the 2 week mark waiting for my insurance approval, and of course I haven't heard anything yet. I am surprisingly calm about it considering how upset I became at other delays. Not sure if it taking so long means anything one way or another. I just want to get the uncertainty over with.
May 1, 2003
Happy May Day! One week down now and another to go, waiting for insurance approval. I can't wait to hear! I have lost 23 lbs. since the end of January, 9 of them just since seeing Dr. P. I am craving carbs, but I am being good.
April 17, 2003
Got to meet Dr. Patterson in person finally! She says I seem to be a good candidate for surgery and didn't argue with me about shooting for the R-N-Y. Now it is a matter of waiting for insurance approval. Tonite I get fitted for my CPAP mask.... this should be a trip. Oh.... the infamous tuna and cottage cheese diet isn't going to be as bad as I thought... there is a bit more leeway in there than was at first apparent.
April 10, 2003
Only 7 more days until I finally get to see Dr. Patterson. I can't wait to get all the uncertanties behind me. Will she pressure me into the ABG, will the insurance company approve me or not. All of this is enough to make a person nuts. I thought I was a patient person, but I am finding out that I am far from it!
April 5, 2003
I finally have my first appointment with Dr. Patterson scheduled for April 17th. The number of hoops and delaying tactics you have to put up with to move forward with this surgery is incredible and impossible! Perhaps someday some in the legislature will take pity on us and take on our cause.
Greetings!
About Me
Before & After
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