Whoops!

Feb 14, 2011

Been a little while since my last post.  Oops.  I am trying to keep this updated as I see it as something that will help with my success.  More accountability.

Guess I will start with news.   I was at costco Saturday with some friends buying some briskets to cook for them.  I grabbed a pair of size 42 Jeans as well.  got home and was shocked to see that they fit!  They were not washed yet, but they fit!! I was pleasently shocked :D  I am also over my sickness I hope.  I was able to work out last week and today with no issues.  I even jogged on the way home!  That was a first for me! :D   This weekend have a BBQ Competition, the first of the season.  I can't wait.  Even tho I can barely eat at the contests, I live for cooking them.  I really love cooking in the BBQ comps.  

I also had kind of an epiphany.  I was depressed and never knew it.  Or if I knew it I shoved it away as  best I could.  I currently have a job that allows me to work from home.  I jumped at the chance to get the opportunity to work from home and was happy that I did.  Starting out I think I took the job so that I could be more productive and be a better family man.  Now, I think I took it so that I could hide from everyone.  I wouldn't have to show my fat ass at work, worry about if my chair is going to break.  Worry if the handi-crapper was taken and I would be in the small crapper, or if I was going to be able to talk to people as soon as I got up the stairs.  I got really complacent with my job as well.  I never wanted to find another position because subconsioncsly (SP??) I didnt want to have to goto work.  So I made excuses as to why I didnt apply for positions and such.  NOW I am actively looking for work, and have had 3 positions POP up into my plate.  

I used to say that I was getting the surgery so that I could be healthy for my son, and to be with my Wife and him for a long time.  Now I believe I am doing this for me.  I am getting more respect for myself, getting more confidence in myself, and basically loving myself.  Now being htere for my family is not the primary reason, but a benefit.    

I hope all my friends are doing great with their journey this week, and had a wonderful Valentines day!  

1 Comment