sweetpea0214

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Well this week was a horrible week for me..... I have been over eating and cheating very badly and it kinda scares me...... I really hope I didnt stretch my pouch because on Tuesday I REALLY over ate and now I dont seem to be as full lately as I had previously been with my 3 ounces of food..... but I am gonna start the 5 day pouch test tomorrow and Im hoping that will help to shrink my stomach back to when I first had surgery..... I am not even 6 months out so I know I have to get back on the ball if I want this to work for me..... I had almost a whole big mac on Tuesday with soda at the same time and a few fries...... that scared the SHIT out of me....... I know it was really bad and I havent done anything like that since surgery and I know I cant do it again...... I dont even know why I did it that day..... I was having a bit of a emotional day and I think that triggered my craving for bad foods and it wasnt just that meal I had bad meals all that day and was drinking soda like it was water...... It was just a horrible day for me all around and I could cry when I think about it..... but I am determined to get back on track...... I want to be down 100 pounds by my 6 month anniversary and I only have 11 days to lose 8 pounds so I dont know if Im gonna make it but Im certainly gonna try..... I have been having pain in a belt around my abdomen.... I went to see Dr. Artuso and he thinks it could either be a ulcer or gall stones and I might need my gall bladder removed..... which I am so upset and angry bout that because he was supposed to remove it during my surgery but because I had complications he didnt want to keep me under any longer so he left it there and then he didnt give me the medication to prevent gall stones when I first got home from the hospital..... it is nearly 6 months out and now that I am having pain now he decides he is gonna put me on this medication (URSODIOL 300MG TWICE A DAY) for the gall stones and (PREVACID 30MG ONCE A DAY) in case I have an ulcer..... so now Im on that everyday.... so the pain is mainly gone but I do have some pain on the right left side of my incision so I dont know what that is about.... but Im hoping it clears on its own and not need any further surgeries..... although I have been feeling better since Ive been on the medications so Im hoping that is a step in the right direction..... but I have been trying to contact the doctor bout blood work he took from me over a week ago and I cant seem to get him so that is disturbing me bec I would like to know what the results of it would be...... all and all I would like to just put this past week behind me and start a new this week with a new lease on living after this surgery and make the best of it...... I hope my next post will be a better one

So Im finally out of Threedom and into Twoterville..... I am so glad that I will never see 300 on the scale again..... It is such an amazing feeling even though Im nowhere near my goal Im still almost 100 pounds down and that alone to me is amazing..... I went to a bar last night that I used to frequent months back and I have not been there in awhile.... when I walked in the barmaid who I have come to know well didn't really recognize me..... she knew she knew me but she couldn't really say who I was at first until she saw my mother walk in behind me and then she realized.... she was so shocked and the whole time I was there she kept looking at me like she couldn't believe the change..... then she went on to tell us that she had a weight problem for years and that she finally lost all the weight but she still holds on to the person she was so she could totally understand what Im going through which I knew her for awhile now and would have never guessed she ever had a problem with her weight..... she also said when she started to lose a bit of weight she cut her hair which is the same thing I did so she was telling me that every time she looks at me she keeps thinking back to when she was going through it and how she did the exact same things.... It was a nice experience to know that even people you know but wouldn't think to talk to about certain things still have these experiences and know what you are going through..... Well thats all for now..... Glad to be in my 200's.... Im currently 298.2..... Go Me!!!!!!!!

Well I have a few things to report today...On Friday I had a nice experience....I tried on a pair of jeans that were too small on me....they were sized small because when I bought them I was the size that they are and they didn't fit....n I have been trying them on now for a few weeks but they never fit so I figured I would give up on them for awhile.... I tried them a couple of weeks ago and they fit over my hips but not closed so I put them away.... then on Friday I was looking for something to wear to go out on a date with my baby and my mom said to me why don't you try those jeans I'm sure they will fit this week....n I was sure they wouldn't but just to make her happy I tried then on and they buttoned up no problem....I was amazed.... it made me sooooo happy.... it's one of those moments I believe after surgery that are those wow moments....I also put on a 18/20 top to go with that and I felt great going out to see him..... then sad new on Saturday....I went to the hair salon because I wanted to get a trim to my hair but I was thinking about cutting it due to the fact that the hair loss was getting really bad and I didn't see it stopping anytime soon.... so the hair cutter talked me into cutting my hair and Alex was all for it so I went for it but before hand I went outside and I was crying and feeling bad because my hair grows really slowly and I wanted my hair to be long again so I DIDN'T WANT TO CUT IT.... then I finally went back in and had it done but was crying while she was cutting it all off.... the hair cut looks nice on me and everyone else loves it but I am definitely missing my long hair..... and this is the first time I've only had my natural color in my hair in at least 9 years..... the last time I saw my natural hair color I was a light brown..... now I am a dark brown and I love my hair color now..... so I am definitely happy about that...... so I will stick with this cut and color for awhile but I'm looking forward to the day when my hair is long and healthy again.... and finally I have one more thing to write about....I took a shower last night and I got out and wrapped the towel all the way around me with no gap in it..... a regular bath towel..... thats great!!!!!.....I don't remember the last time I was able to wrap a towel the whole way around me..... it was such a great feeling..... I can't believe how far I've come since this surgery..... it's a great thing!!!!! I'm down to 310.2 now so that is 76 pounds in four months..... I have never lost that much in my life..... sometimes I think I'm in a dream..... I'm feeling great and I'm looking forward to being down 100 pounds and being part of the century club!!!!

Well I have some good news to report today.....this morning I actually took it upon myself to walk to 13 floors up to my grandfather's apartment......I didn't make it all in one shot but I could walk 2 flights at a time and take a rest......but the important thing is that I DID make it!!!!......my legs are killing me now though lol but its a good kind of pain....one where you know why it's there and that you caused it because your trying to help yourself.....it's a great feeling!.....I had breakfast with my mother and went food shopping after that and spent most of the day with her and it was nice spending time together just the two of us......we don't get to do that too much anymore......well on the downside I haven't lost anymore weight since I last posted and I have cheated on Thanksgiving having a small piece of pumpkin pie and 3 sugar cookies......very bad but I have been fairly good since then so not toooooo bad......I will weigh myself again on Friday and hopefully will have some better news to report.....Im currently looking for a job as well as my boyfriend and it scares me a lil bit to get out there in the job market.....but I'm gonna do it......and another downside is that I can feel everything start to jiggle now n I hate that SOOOOOOOO much.....but my boyfriend is wonderful and he tells me that I still look good to him and I have nothing to worry about and that makes a world of difference to me and I try to let him know how much that is appreciated but I don't think he could ever truly understand since he has never had a weight problem in his life......but I am definitely grateful for him in my life....

Well I don't have good news to report....I have not lost any weight this week which is bothering me but Im sure that it is my own fault....I haven't been eating my 3 meals a day this whole week, I haven't taken my vitamins properly all week, and I have been cheating this week... especially on Thanksgiving.... but I realize that I have to get back on track and just continue on from here....I cannot allow this to discourage me and really take me away from what I want to accomplish.....Im hoping to be well under 300 by my 6 month anniversary.....I will keep my fingers crossed that I can accomplish this.... one good thing is that I started doing a walking dvd this past week with my mother and we can do the 1 mile one so far..... but we haven't done it in a few days so we will have to get back to it tonight.... also tonight Im supposed to go to my ex's house for a party for his mother whom I am very close to... she had this surgery about 4 years ago..... to celebrate her passing her test and becoming a RN which she has been going for for many years now.... so Im happy for her and Im gonna go there tonight and help her celebrate..... Im hoping life looks up soon..... Id like to move in my house by February but Im not sure thats gonna happen now so Im keeping my fingers crossed because there is a lot of work still to be done on it..... Well Ill update again soon.....

Well I have good news to report......I went to see my surgeon this past Thursday and he tells me everything is going well for me.....I got weighed on his scale and it says Im down to 323 lbs....which is a loss of 63 lbs....and he wanted me to lose 60 lbs by 3 months so Im a little ahead of schedule which is great!!!!......but I went upstairs to where my room was when I was in the hospital and I used the scale that they originally weighed me on before my surgery and I am down to 319 lbs on that scale so Im going by that because that is the one that was originally what my weight is being measured against so in actuality Im down 67 lbs......I feel great about that.....and everything else is doing welll....Im taking my vitamins like Im supposed to and Im finally trying to get more protein in....Im having a protein shake every morning for breakfast.....and my surgeon says that he expects my hair loss to stop in a few more weeks so Im hoping hes right about that one.......I really dont want to have to cut my hair because Im looking forward to letting it grow even more than it is now but Im afraid if it becomes too thin Ill have to cut it to make it look fuller but I guess only time will tell....because I can see the difference now but everyone else tells me that it isnt noticeable so Im gonna go by them.....everything else is doing great I dont have to go back to see the surgeon until February which by then I will be 6 months out and hopefully be well into TWOTERVILLE by then.......

Well Im happy to say that Im back with my boyfriend.....the way it belongs....although Im not happy to say that yesterday I fell of track a bit and Im sure that it has to do that it was bothering me yesterday that we werent talking to each other....but today is a new day and Im not gonna beat myself up over yesterday otherwise Im afraid today will be another one of those days...I cant get into that cycle....I have to move on....Well today started off well anyway....I had a scrambled egg with a slice of cheese and some spices......and I plan on keeping it up all day....I find that for me taking this one day at a time is easier than looking at the big picture for the rest of my life...I mean I know its for the rest of my life but I also know that there are gonna be times in my life that I will eat things Im not supposed to from time to time and I have to live with that too...I still have to live just not the way Im used to and thats great......I promised myself I wouldnt step on the scale till Friday so I have no idea if Ive lost anymore.....hopefully I will see my surgeon on Thursday and then Ill find out then on his scale how much Ive lost....my scale at home always make me heavier than his....so Ill go by his lol....Well hopefully Ill have some good news to report than....