swtmelissa

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Ok, I have decided to do the 5 day pouch test again this week, because I was really happy with the results and want to keep that weight loss going a little faster :)

Today, working on my protein drinks, less calories using unsweetened Almond milk which I love, and working on my fluids for the day! I was a little naughty in my eating this weekend but not horrible.  Just trying to get a few more pounds off before vacation :)

I have been trying to get some of my old "skinny jeans" on, and while they are getting there, I am still not fitting! I hate that my ribs are starting to show and my top is getting smaller, but my hips are a different story...that is my problem area.   Hoping eventually it will go away!! :) I CAN do this.  Not so worried since I have done this once before and I know I can make it through this under some serious stress on top of that... so I got this!

 

Well, this week has taught me that I need to be more confident in myself.  Too often I am very hard on myself no matter what it is I do, whether it is with my weight, my activity at work, or anything else.  I am doing my best to be comfortable in my own skin and to give myself credit for all I have accomplished over the last 6 years.  I am about to graduate college this December with my degree in Business & Management and working on a promotion here at my current job.  I am finding I have to be confident in myself and put some value into the work I have done already and trust that I am more than qualified for that next step.  I am struggling with that a little bit.  Just learning to believe in myself and be confident enough to speak up for what I want, and believe that I deserve it!

As far as my weight is concerned this week, I am maintaining it seems.  I am going to work in another 5 day pouch test to maybe take off a few lbs.  in the next week or so.  I miss those days when it seemed to fall off! :) But I know this is work and it will take time.

 

I am all finished with my 5 day pouch test and I lost 16 lbs during that time.  I am sure a lot was water weight and swelling I was experiencing but a loss non the less.  I would still like to loose another 15 lbs, so I am going to be diligent with my workouts and my eating.  I may do the 5 day pouch test again in a week or so.  My hubby did say that he noticed I was eating less, like I use to which is great to hear! I am a little hungry today, and energy is dragging little lately but chalking some of that up to stress and those early morning work outs! My once tight pants are getting baggy, and I got both of my legs in my size 4 last night lol, now I need to work and getting them on completely and buttoning! I will get there, lots of work but I will get there.

I am just trying to remember that I can do this, and I have been down to that size and weight before, I CAN do this again and get to my goal weight :) 

It has been a rough week to say the least! I am working from home today, grateful I have that opportunity. I have had very little sleep this week and was "zombie Like" yesterday, so I stayed home to get some sleep today, 3-4 nights no sleep will catch up to you, especially during the 5 day pouch test! 

So today is day 3 and I am happy to eat some solid food! Going to have some tuna in a few minutes here!  My pouch really does feel different.  I had a hard boiled egg this morning and it almost came back up on me! It was TIGHT! Crazy but wow, I miss that lol On top of that I weighed in this morning at 148.  10 days ago I weighed in at 164.  I am sure a lot of that was water weight, but thank you Jesus I broke through my struggle area! I could not get below 150 and its been months but I did it, and I will keep on!
Really going to watch my calories and eating.  I have 4 more weeks until I go to Mexico and I want to look good in my bathing suite!! I really hope to be at goal by that time!! I think I can do it :) 
 

OK, I did really well on the 5 day pouch test for day 1... I wasn't really hungry today, although being here at home right now I am really wanting to eat, but I will not! I had my protein drink for dinner and some sugar free jello and that will be all!  Although it will be a nice early bed time tonight so I won't have to think about it much longer!

Started back on the insanity work out today after being off for almost a week because of my crazy schedule.  I am expecting to see some pounds drop off but time will tell :) I am exhausted and hungry, I am glad the liquid diet is only for 2 days!  I have to remember why I am doing this.

 

I thought I would take a minute today to reflect on the things that have taken place in my life over the last 6 years since I have had WLS.

- I left an abusive and destructive marriage, and stood on my own two feet
- I got a new job
- Met a truly amazing man, who had become my best friend and married him
- Went back to school, and I am about to graduate in December with my Bachelors in Business & Management
- Got an even better job, and will be promoted in the next 6 months (after graduation)
- Maintained for the most part (trying to get back on track)
- I have found self confidence and self worth I never thought I had

My life has turned upside down in every possible way and I am SO grateful for that!!  My plan is to continue on! (and hopefully lose that last little bit of weight!!)

Wow, it has been such a long time since I have been here, but I am back, needing to remind myself of where I have been and how I have gotten to where I am today. 

My lowest weight after surgery was about 5 years ago and I was about 143, today sadly I weighed in at 164.  I have to get myself back on track.  I have lost sight of were I was and I just CAN NOT go back to that. these last 15 lbs I have put on over the last 2-3 months and I am just not sure how that is possible right now.  

What am I going to do about this...I am taking a step back and evaluating what I am eating and doing.  Going back to the basics! I know I can do this,  I just have to get my mind right and back to where I was, an continue on with my exercise program. I CAN DO THIS.

I don't want to be the one people look at and say she gained all of her weight back, and I cant go back to that life, I just cant.  I have to live by that.

And I am Starving!!!!!!!
I did good all day, I had 2 muscle milk protien drinks , some coffee and water, and less than half a can of cream of chicken soup.  Then held me over for a while.  I am thinking this was not a good day to start this with new years being tomorrow.,  Bad time to start a liquid diet during the holidays!! I may eat a small dinner tonight, try to eat better this week and start this diet Monday, when there is nothing going on! I hate being so hungry.  Oh well I will live... I will loose these last few pounds though.

Ok..... Feeling a little bloated this week.  I got a couple of pair of jeans for christmas... size 4 and they fit!! Perfectly!! I dont' want to change that!! I am just feeling a little heavy this last week and I feel like I have been eating more, SO  5 day pouch test starting tomorrow!! It might be a little difficult since I have off work 4 days this week, but I will just have to keep myself occupied and away from the fridge and snacks!! I want to loose about 15 lbs I want to be at 135 and I am about 150 right now, eventually I would like to see 125 but that might be a little on the low end, i don't want to look sickly either. I have a big meeting in Texas at the end of the month, I would love to have at least 10 lbs gone by then! I think I can do it!!

Ok so tomorrow... I am going to blog every day to help me stay on track.  I just have to stay extremely Focused!!

So... I am doing better not being so hard on myself... Trying to see myself as that same fat person.

I am still maintaining my weight in fact I have lost a couple of pounds in the last few weeks so I am happy :-)
This week has been rather interesting, and I have been looking back over the last two years and thinking about where I was and how far I have come since I had surgery and how incredibly different my life is.  

I have come such a long long way and I really need to be proud of myself for that, and I need to keep pushing on and keep progressing.

I used to be really self concious about the fact that I had Gastric Bypass surgery, I didn't want to tell anyone especailly most of my family, I was really hesitant to tell people about it, but that has changed a lot.  I took a huge step in my life to get help and get healthy, there shouldn't be any shame in that.  Do Drugs addicts get ridiculed for going to rehab, or alcoholics for going to AA?  Why should I be judged because I got the help I needed?

Now its different, I will tell any one and don't feel uncomfortable at all telling people how far I have come, or tell them about the steps I have taken to become the person I am today.

Some people still seem to have a problem with it however - i have one particular family memeber who thinks I have screwed my body up for the rest of my life, and over this past weekend made a very good point to tell me that I was still fat (mind you I am only 140 lbs - started at 300) Some people will bever change their opinions and always think they are better because they have never had to experiance life as a (fat) person.  For those people - I have no time in my life for you, I am happy and healthy and going strong every day, living life more than ever, and enjoying every minute of it!

I am not going to get down on myself when people say stupid things like call me fat... because I am happy with me, and comfortable being the person I am and FINALLY Comfortable in my own skin, how AMAZING is that!! I never thought it would be possible to come as far as I have in the last 2 years .  Down 160 lbs and maintaining, I have a wonderful man in my life who treats me better than any one has ever treated me,. I have made new freinds, and pushed those volitile abusive people out of my life - those who don't really care about me.  I have a new career (one I very much enjoy) I have started over compleltey in soo many ways,and it was all soo worth it.  It has been an amazing ride, and its just beinging!  Life has just begun for me i am no longer sitting on the side lines! :-)