4 days until surgery

Jun 05, 2010

I've been on the liquid diet for 4 days now,with the exception of a cheese sandwich before work yesterday.  It turned out to be a wise choice because it was so busy at work that I didn't get a lunch or a break for 9 hours.   I'm anxious about having general anesthesia.  I think "ignorance is bliss" is an accurate statement.  If I didn't know every little thing that can go wrong I would just be excited and grateful for this chance to get healthy. 

My goals are to get down to 140 pounds, maybe even a size 10.  Pounds aside, my goal is to not die prematurely of a heart attack or diabetes or stroke.  I want my blood pressure to come down to normal, and my blood sugars too.  I really want to be able to live an active life again, and do all the fun things that my boys want to do now.  I want to fit into an airplane seat, play at a water park all day, be able to tolerate heat again.  I want to have energy again.  I want to be able to work full time again.  I want to be able to slide down the slides with my boys.  Most importantly, I want my boys to have their mother.  I want to live to see my grandchildren.  I don't want my husband to bury me and suffer that grief. 

I was undecided about how much time to take off from work.  My surgeon suggested at least 2 weeks in order to have an opportunity to begin exercising before returning to work, as well as having a chance to get through the liquid phase.  She is awesome.  I've known Dr.McBride a long time.   I'm leaning toward a full 4 weeks, especially after my last shift.  If I go back on "restricted duty" it will just make my co-workers annoyed and exhaust me.  It's too busy for someone to do all my lifting/turning/travelling.  And lunch breaks?  fo-gedda-about-it. 

I know people are going to think I took the easy way out.  None of them have a clue how much work this will be.  Honestly, I did not realize the work involved until I went to that informational seminar in February. 

I was just looking at options.  I even lost 23 pounds on my own at Metabolic Research Center.  I was already starting to sabotage myself, however.  Who cooks and freezes 4 dozen cookies a week ahead of time?  Like I wasn't going to eat some?  Ended up eating all of them before my mom's bday party and had to make another batch.  Idiot. 

So here I go.  Wish I had the guts to go all the way and do the bypass, but just too many risks.  If I was not a mom, I think I would have gone that route.   I just pray, REALLY PRAY, that a year from now I can look back and say I did the right thing, and be even more joyful in my life and the lives of those around me.  
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About Me
Omaha, NE
Location
Surgery
06/09/2010
Surgery Date
Jun 05, 2010
Member Since

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