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since i wrote on here. I've been busy. taking care of my children and getting a job that didn't work out so now i am unemployed again but I'm not mad at that. i am thinking about going back to school. one thing at a time first. my middle child starts school this august so ill only have one kid in the house so i think i will work on it then. anyways i am a 100 pounds down now. yay. but i have no shape to me. i really need to be working out. but with summer here and no one to watch the kids I'm stuck entertaining them. which is fine but all the swimming we are doing is not enough excises to tone me up. this weekend we are taking the kids to the zoo so there will be some walking involved lol.
anyways  health wise i guess i am OK. i need to get my blood work done. i need to double my protein cause i am falling behind on it right now. my appetite is coming back as well. I've been wanting to eat more and more it seems but i am not letting myself. and when i do i try to eat good things. lately its been fruit. i eat lots of fruit.
so i am in a size 8/6 depending on brand. i need to work on my abs but other then that i am pretty happy where i am at. i know i will lose more but i wish i wouldn't. cause all my family says i look good and i feel good. but i have no butt. i mean no butt. at all. OK enough of that. I'm done.

so this blog post might be a lil different. i am so not happy right now with my decision. i had the gastric bypass on nov. 30th. since then so much has happend. i have went back to the hospital twice. the first time they stretched my stoma cause i was throwing everything up. now i am nausous all the time. i hate it. nothing taste good all of a sudden. i was eating eggs real well a few weeks ago and now i cant smell them with out wanting to throw up. protien shakes taste like crap as well. so i dont get all my  protien like i am suppose to. the only thing that has protien in it that i really like is milk, i love some milk. coffee is good to i put milk in it ha ha. i went back to the hospital monday and they said everything looked fine. sept i am still nasous. and i dont want to eat anything. i really dont even get hungry. im so mad that i had this surgery. im not lieing ,,, but i know its early so maybe it will get better. but i am telling you if it doesnt i will be back in the hospital for being unhealthy.




ps you will probably have something positive to say and thanks.... but it doesnt change the fact that i feel like im wasting away.

i can actually wrap a towel around me. not a bathe sheet or one of the big ones but i a regular towel. i love being able to walk outa the bathroom in a towel and no skin show.

my husband can pick me up. he doesn't have to struggle with it. its fun to wrestle.

went to a movie and sat comfy in the movie seat.

i can cross my legs. that was a big one for me.. being able to sit pretty is nice.

i can jog and  it not hurt my knees. i have not tried running but jogging is a nice start.

putting on my shoes does not take the breath outa me.


thats all i can think of right now but i am sure there are more things i can say.

i haven't been around lately but i hope to be here more often. my anti depressant meds have not been working. i think it might have something to do with them getting absorbed. so i have a appointment tomorrow to see about fixing this. i am not in the mood to do anything lately and that's not a normal me. anyways i have been lifting my 3 lb weights trying to tone my arms. i started some Pilate's today.  not sure if i like it. its a lil slow for me. i might try something more up beat. been walking in the evening. my legs are killing me and i can really feel it in my thighs. i think total since Nov 15 i have lost around 50 pounds. sounds like alot but i still don't feel much different. but then again i haven't been feeling like my self either. on another note i had to go back to the doc to get my stoma stretched. i woke up during the procegor and that was not nice. i end up hurting my self pretty bad. i had a sore throat and swollen lymphnoids for a while. it even hurt to move my head side to side. i have been eating better since then though. i have only thrown up once and that was my fault. i have been trying hard to get in all my protein and water. that part i am still struggling but its getting better. ok well that's all for now. will post again soon.

this is late. but i am finally getting to it just before i go to bed. my friends and family are starting to see a change in me. which is nice. i can wear my wedding band now and i haven't worn it in over three years. it feels weird wearing it. i feel like a newlywed. but have been married 6 years. my husband is still very positive and i am so lucky to have married such a wonderful guy. my incisions look good. i am still struggling to get in my 64oz of fluids but it has its  good days and bad. i have been taking pics but to me i don't look any different. i might post them at another time. on another note me and Amanda still talk everyday keeping up on how we are doing. its weird cause this person i only just met really cares just as much as my husband but still she cares more then most of my friends i talk to here in Texas. which is a true blessing. i started walking more. i go to anywhere i can to walk, malls, walmart. its cold here so i don't want to pull my kids out in it. me and a friend are going shopping Saturday so i will get alot walking in then. i want a gym membership but the gym here doesn have childcare. which bites. OK well i am gonna go now. i have a post op app. this next Monday i will blog again then.

one week has past and it hasn't gone very fast.. ha ha that rhymed. anyways i am feeling better everyday. the pain today was really not that bad. i got up this morning and took my daughter to the bus stop and then cleaned a Lil in the kitchen.. i am still resting alot. i am worried if i do to much i will hurt more. i hate laying around though, i wanna get up and do something. my urine is still really dark but i have been getting lots of fluids. i am not to worried about it right now but i hope that works it self out later. I'm not taking my pain meds during the day now. only at night when i go to bed to help me sleep better. i don't want to be loopy around my kids. helping me get through this is Amanda. i am glad i got on this site and tried to meet people like myself cause it has payed off. we are both struggling with this liquid diet. i know that i have to let my body heal but it sucks waiting. my clothes are already starting to get a loose, i really don't want to go buy any yet. i wear alot scrubs and sweats though cause i can pull the string, but ihave no jeans i can where to the store. it sucks going to walmart in scrubs cause i feel like a scrub lol. I'm sure it will pass soon and i will want to go buy something to wear. anyways so far everything is fine. i am moving along great and I'm super excited about losing this weight. i hope that this next few weeks go buy fast cause i am ready to chew something and swallow lol.

that's where i am. i am still in a lil pain mostly muscel ache. all my incisions feel fine and are healing well. i am getting around just fine on my own. my kids have been so good for me. they know mommy is hurting and are really sweet to me. even my 3 year old is so sweet to me. anyways my husband is on his way home today that makes me so happy even though he will only be here for a day or so. I'm going to one of my friends kids bday party tomorrow. i hope i don't over do it but i want out of this house. i have only been home a few days but it sucks being here feeling stuck. i have lost a few pounds since i have been home but really that's not the point. i just want to heal. you know while i was in the hospital the nurses kept saying how pretty i was gonna be when i was skinny. but all i wanna here is that the pain would go away. that everything would be fine. not that when i was skinny i would be so pretty. who gives a crap out pretty i am i wanna see my kids grow up and i wanna run around with them and not fall out. i wanted to here that the healing process would work in time and what i need to do. the nurses were really nice don't get me wrong. the hospital was a lil unorganized but it went well and i was out in no time. my dad sent me flowers then when i was home my grandma brought me some as well. i love flowers. my dads flowers were purple roses. the best kind in the world. i am so lucky he thinks of me. anyways i am outta here. i will write more another day when i feel better.

ok so the time has come for me to go to san antonio. i will be on my way there tomrrow and i am super nervous. well its gettin better. i got all that needed to be taking care of done so i feel so much better. also i have been chatting with amanda and thats cool cause we have alot in comon, like surgery dates and other things lol. having someone to talk to really helps. i am so glad i joined OH. i read the boards but only the post that seem helpful. i reply when i feel i can be helpful to someone else. ok so about tomorrow. i will be in san antonio so i can register at the hospital there. then i will go to the hotel to take my bowel prep stuff then i will poo all night i am sure. monday morning i will wake up and go in to the hospital at 6am. i am sure i will be the second to have surgery so i am not so sure when that will be. but by that afternoon it will all be over. lets all hope that me and amanda and the others with nov 30th surgery dates the best recovery. the time has come and i am super excited. see you on the flip side.

well, i have been on this diet now for almost 13 days and i am starting to notice a change in myself. nothing drastic but its nice. i went to a sleep study last night for the third time. (the second time i had to reschedule) and i didn't get any rest. how could that really  be a sleep study. i felt i might have slept two or maybe three hours. i didn't like all those wires on me and the mask didn't seem to work for me. maybe its the shape of my face i dunno. it just aggravated me. i woke up at 430 am to drive two hours home. well not my home to my moms to get my kids. i almost fell asleep just trying to get there. then i get to walmart on my way home cause one of my daughters is sick and she throws up everywhere. lets just say i did not have a very good day. then i get on the OH and the boards are filled with all these people arguing about who's surgery is better and who said what. i am new here and all i have to say is SO! what? i came here for support and these people are arguing. i am happy with my decision. but i am nervous. i have less then a week and will be three hours from my children in a hospital. i choice this doc cause i had heard so many good things about him. and i have heard the hospital is just as awesome. so i have chose to go three hours away for that good care. it just sucks cause i wont be here to make sure they get to school or do homework. Or for the younger ones to make sure they eat well and get time to play outside. i will miss them for these three days. anyways i am still trying to get everything in order and make sure the animals are cared for and the mail gets picked up. i don't know what to pack other then the obvious. i could possibly be in the hospital with no one to talk to since its gonna be so far away and i am worried about being alone and vulnerable. lord let theses next few weeks go by fast.

ok so have been on this pre op diet for one week and i have one more week to be on it. i have alreadly lost over ten pounds i am so excited. i can see the difference but thats ok. making final plans for my kids while im in the hospital and at home recovering seems to be a lil tricky but im on my way and will have it all worked out soon. my mom said she would do alot for me to thats a great. my husband will probably take off as well. so i am sure it will all work. ok well thats all for now i will update again when there is anything to update. hope all my firends are doing good. happy holidays :)

alicia