TracyMarsh

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Well, alot has happened since I wrote my blog. I had to gain weight on purpose to get my BMI up to 35 and in the process my sleep apnea came back. I have been miserable all tax season. I had surgery on April 19, 2013. I am a week and a half out and have lost around 8 lbs already. I am again under 200. I got up to around 210 at my highest this time. 

I am feeling very weak and light of head, I think it is more from my pain meds I can't take anymore than the surgery. It is scaring me and I hope it goes away soon. I think I am in withdrawal from the morphine I was taking for 15 years and the patch works different and maybe not as well. I am still very unsure of what to do about my pain management. I hope I get that straightened out soon. I want to be off as much as I can. 

Keeping track of the vitamins and food and water now!!!!

It is now Jan 29, 2013. I was hoping to have RNY surgery and have my lapband removed. My insurance doesn't have pre-authorization and the hospital won't do the surgery unless I give them  $10000. My doc and Janine, from billing office, are trying to fight this and are trying to find ways around these rules. Dr Laguna is adamant that I need the revision and now I can't have any more fills to the band. I just need it out. So I am basically stuck with nothing for the next 2 1/2 months until after tax season. I am so upset. I was supposed to have surgery tomorrow and then it was pulled from me.

I am writing down what I eat and keeping sugar out of the house. I just don't know how successful I will be with this, and with every failure to control my food, my self esteem and personal power are shot down again. I know that obesity is a disease. I come by it genetically and emotionally. In my childhood of chaos I learned early on that sugar gave me a feeling of safety, calm and relaxation. I have been hooked on it my whole life. I am going to join OA as soon as I can and go to as many meetings as I can before committing to a meeting. It's all hard during tax season though. Guy needs me here to answer phones during day hours and I have to do returns in night hours. I will just do the best I can.

I have gained 15 lbs since before Thanksgiving. I want to work on taking that off again. I will update this blog as I get new info. I am feeling pretty bad right now too, because the support list I have been on for 3 years since banding, has been very rejecting to those of us who have to lose our bands. As if nothing negative should be said about the band. I will find a new support list as soon as I can.

Wow, I can't believe it's been over 3 1/2 years since I had my lapband. And I can't believe the note I left it with. I have been thru so much since then, but now I am back to where I was when I wrote that blog! After writing that, I did get a new surgeon, in the same practice as my old one, but totally different. And I started working with the Physicians assistant, Melissa. She totally understood everything I said to her and she knew much more how to manage a lapband than the idiot surgeon who installed it!

Now I am waiting for insurance to have a revision into an RNY. I hope it is accepted! I am excited and also scared and just starting my research into RNY. I could also maybe have a sleeve, but Dr Laguna thinks I may not be a good candidate with my esophagus having high pressure. I was supposed to get a test for that but the MNGI kept losing my referral and now I am thinking I will just go to the RNY. At least I know that will work.

I have lost 55 lbs with the lapband. Much of that was not from good eating, but from not being able to eat solids at all. Then I quit losing and started gaining. I have gained back 10 lbs now. My lapband now is wide open, as that is the only way I can eat with it. So, it's pretty much like not having anything. And honestly, the lapband did not ever work the way it was supposed to work on me. Only after surgery, when my stomach was swollen, was my hunger dampened.

I am ready to move on and can't wait! It always takes so long!