trenansac
I wasn't always heavy. But as years went on I slowly and steadily gained weight. I was the average size child. I went into my teenage years at size 7-9. I stayed at that size until I was 18 years old and the birth of my first daughter. I went up a couple of sizes and stayed at size 11-12 for several years. I would get up to about 140 pounds and that was the biggest I had ever gotten for quite some time.
At age 24 I began to creep up in weight and went up to 160 pounds. I was a smoker and always used the excuse that I was smoking so I wouldn't eat and gain so much weight. I decided that since I was so heavy that smoking wasn't working. I watched my mother in law die of cancer and I threw the cigarettes away and haven't touched them since January of 1990. I made the drastic mistake of putting m&m's in my mouth to satisfy my urges when I wanted to smoke. Over a year and a half my weight soared up to 180 pounds. I then became pregnant with my second daughter and my weight soared even higher to 200 pounds. I stayed at that weight for another four years and really didn't feel like a fat person. I didn't worry about what I ate or anything else I just continued on as if I had when I was 130 pounds.
One day I stepped on the scales and found I weighed 230 pounds. I decided I had better do something about it and that is when the yo-yo syndrome hit me. My first attempt was to hit the gym. I did that and went back down to 200 pounds where I stayed for nearly a year. I got tired of going to the gym and even though I liked it, I was spending all my time there. I stopped going and went right back up to 230 pounds.
My friend suggested that I try the phen-phen diet and so I went to the special clinic they had for phen-phen and began to take the medication. I dropped right back down to 200 pounds without even trying. I just took my medicine and the weight just fell off me. I would weigh in and as a reward for losing weight my friend and I would hit the greek restaurant and pig out. That didn't last long because they called phen-phen off the market. Smack right in the face!
Over the course of the next three years I went back up in weight and past the 230 pounds. I wasn't weighing in anymore. I didn't even own a working scale. I had no idea how much weight I had gained but I knew I had gained because I was now in an 18/20 and they were getting tight. I finally went to size 20. I still did not weigh myself because I really didn't want to know how big I really was. I was working in a law office and very busy and was pretty happy at that point so weight wasn't on my mind until I would have to put on my clothes and they just weren't fitting. I am large in the chest and had to sew all the buttons on my blouses closed so they didn't pop open at work.
A long time had gone by since I had weighed in but I had to go to the doctor and when I weighed in I nearly hit the floor. I was up to 280 pounds. I started going back to the gym and lost 40 pounds right away. I was working with a trainer and losing weight and feeling good. But the price of the trainer began to take its toll on my check book so I had to stop using the trainer and began to get out of the routine of working out.
I wasn't worried. I thought I was doing good despite my size. I have a very bad back and was always able to control my pain but now it was out of control and I was in constant pain. I am still on heavy medications for my back pain. I saw a doctor and had MRI's and found that not only do I have arthritis of the spine which is typical as you get older (nothing to worry about) but now I had 2 bulging disks in my low back, which was good for me because years ago I had 3. I also had 2 bulging disks that had lost the fluid and became flattened. I also had a narrowing of my spine. I just kept taking the meds. Then we found I had fibromyalgia. I still maintain that the diagnosis is bullcrap. Fibromyalgia is a name they give you when they can't figure out what is wrong with you and its usually psycho symatic My pain is very real and the MRI's show the damage. I decided to stick with my PCP and do the pain management. He found I was hypothyroid and began treating me for that. I was in a vicious cycle of pain meds, fatigue, hunger, tired. Around and around I went taking meds for pain, getting fatigued, feeling like I was starving, and eating like a pig, then getting so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open. It was no time before I was up to 294 pounds. My feet were swelling and it hurt to walk. I felt like I was just going to drop dead from all this pain and fatigue.
I finally went to the doctor and told him my feet were swelling and I just knew something was terribly wrong. That is when he told me that due to my weight and all the pain medications I was going to have swollen ankles and other problems. This doctor has taken good care of me over the years and if I had a problem he checked it out. He has checked me from head to toe and back again so I knew he was serious when he told me it wasn't going to get any better for me until I could get my weight down and get off some of the medications I was taking for pain. I couldn't get off the pain medications and was even going in for shots of toradol to relieve back pain and headaches. I finally went back to him and asked for a referral to the gastric bypass surgeons. He knew I had been trying on my own and that I was miserable. He didn't disagree like I thought he would. He sent my referral in September of 2005 and I had an appointment by October 2005. I was on my weight loss journey.
Look for me; www.myspace.com/trenansac
