tryingtogetthere

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We all know that you have to take a psychiatric eval before your surgery. The part that they dont tell you that you have all these hormones rushing through your body.  It's like being stuck in a movie picture some days. For the first couple of weeks you have are having your own twilight zone episode! I cried, I got mad at myself.  I wondered if I had done the right thing. I felt like I had hit menopause (again).  Just to sum this up it does pass, you begin to feel normal again and your emotions are under control. But when you are going through this you, you cant help but think will adding more liquids to my diet cure this too!

Well I have done the bowel prep for surgery (oh that is so much fun) I have my family and friends praying for me and I am ready.  Everyone that is scheduled for this week I pray a quick and speedy recovery for you and let your new life be one that surpassed your old one.   Enjoy life and live it to the fullest. Giving God the Glory!

I can not believe that I am 5 days out from my surgery. I was given all my marching orders yesterday, Dr. Sonny Cavazos will be performing my surgery. He has great bed side manner and listens to your concerns. I thank God for giving me a surgeon who was not arrogant, he is a humble man. I hear nothing but good words about him. 

My sister asked my how I felt, I feel like im at the beginning of a line, its up to me to draw it, its up to me. You feel like if you can accomplish this nothing will ever stop you. To be given a second chance at life is an unreal feeling. Good night OH I will blog on my day after surgery. By the way does anybody now how to get all that extra gas out of your body!

Be Blessed for by His stripes we are healed!!

I have been reading a book by Bishop TD Jakes called Peaks and Valleys. This read is teaching me to clean out the "dead" thats inside of me. To cry out to God, never allow someone or something take my focus off of Him. The process is my cleansing. This surgery is my cleansing.  I have been given a wonderful gift, I gift that I prayed for, I gift that I cried out in the midnight hour about.  Please keep me lifted in prayer as I cleanse.

Today at work A co-worker and me were talking about my upcoming surgery. I expressed to that I was not scared. I had prayed about the procedure and argued with God about it. It takes me a while some of the time to to say ok to Him! Even though he is never wrong. I asked one night after I got of the shower and looked at my 270 lbs and asked him why I could not get to a healthy weight. No matter what I went through I could not get there. I asked Him would this operation be the best thing for me and he answered by saying I have healed you already. I askd Him how, He went on to explain to me that He laid my healing in the hands and knowledge of the physician I was going to. If you are reading this and wondering if this is right for you ask the Father I guarantee that He will answer you also.  Your faith is the difference in all things. I know that I am making a life changing decision but this is one time that I have to change my life in order to survive.