Erica Alikchihoo

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Well, based on my last "So Angry I Could Cry" post, you guys could probably call me the world's biggest whiner.  I was bound and determined that the surgery I was being forced to have was unnecessary and extravagent, but it turns out that it wasn't.  My neurosurgeon made her incision and got into the area of my back that was giving me trouble, and found that the less invasive surgery would not have worked anyway.  Seems that I had a vertebrae that was being crushed, and causing me to tip to the right, and it had not shown up on either the x-rays or the MRI.  So, what should have been about a 4 hour surgery turned into 6 hours while they worked to "jack up" the affected vertebrae and get the proper hardware and spacers in there so that I can once again straighten up (after the physical therapy helps to loosen up the contracted muscles on that side of my spine).  And for the first time in over 7 years, I am pain-free.  I no longer suffer from disabling sciatica down my left buttock and leg, and the pain that was beginning to manifest over the top of my right hip and down into my right groin is gone as well.  I had forgotten what it is like to be able to walk without hurting.  In fact, I felt so good, that ONE WEEK after surgery, I was out interviewing for jobs....using my walker, and wearing my rigid back brace..... you should have seen some of the looks I got.  BUT, I also got some "Wow....if she'll come out for a job interview ONE WEEK POST-OP....what dedication can we expect from her if we HIRE her??"  And lo and behold....I was offered not ONE job, but two!!  I ended up taking the one that paid a little less, but was a lot closer to home, and I would be working in amongst people and doing things that would really help out, and it is a state job, and therefore fairly secure.  The other job would have paid about $3K more, and I would have had about twice the vacation time, but it sounded and looked very lonely.  I felt like I would be a "figurehead" for the department, and I couldn't imagine what there was that would keep me busy and occupied, since my potential boss did all his own PowerPoint and grant-writing.

Anyway, I started my new job 3 weeks post-op (by then no longer using the walker).....and I was feeling so good that on the 4th day there, I was bee-bopping around delivering files, and tripped over my own feet and fell, HARD.  I broke my left kneecap, and tore the ligaments and cartilage in my right wrist.  The work comp doc wouldn't let me go back to work unless I was in a wheelchair with my left leg stuck straight out in front of me, in an immobilizer brace, and my wrist in another brace.  But I desperately wanted to be at work, so I agreed.  I never missed a day except for the day that I fell.  When they did the arthrogram and MRI of my wrist and found that the ligaments and cartilage was torn, they sent me to a hand specialist, who put me in a cast.  And it was so awful that although I am out of the cast now, my right thumb is still numb and I probably won't get all the feeling back for a couple of months.  The knee doc discharged me last week, and I got a second opinion on the hand from another specialist, so I'm not quite discharged from HIM yet, but he was concerned that there was a hidden fracture near the bottom of my thumb, and he ordered a CT scan, and I got the results today, and there is definitely NO FRACTURE.  So, I'm a happy camper!!

And I see the neurosurgeon on Wednesday for my three month post-op checkup, and I expect to be told that I don't have to wear my back brace anymore and can begin physical therapy!!  That will really make me happy!  Then, I can start wearing my dresses, skirts, and suits that I haven't been able to wear because of the leg and back braces....

Finally, I have one thing left to take care of.... and that's a torn rotator cuff in my left shoulder (a very OLD injury, but one that was exacerbated by the fall).  I'm waiting until I have a little more time at work under my belt, so that I have at the very least two vacation days that I can take off for the surgery.

And through it all, I have been able to maintain my weight loss of 141 pounds.  I weigh 166 pounds....and I want to be 160, maybe even 155.... but without having been able to exercise for the past 8 months, the weight loss has stalled.  I hope to kick it up when I'm out of the back brace and PT says I can begin MOVING again!! 

Still, I'm in a size 10 pants, and a large blouse, and that's GREAT!  Especially coming from a size 28 pants and a 3XL shirt!  I've had to give away my entire wardrobe 3 times now!!  But what a pleasure it is to be able to pick up a pair of slacks off the rack at Walmart or even Nordstroms, and know that they'll fit me! 

So, that's all that's new with me.....what's up with all of YOU?

Love,
Erica

Wow....after almost a year and a half, I've had my FIRST experience with dumping.  I guess you could call me lucky, huh?  I've been really sick for the past 3 days with a bad chest cold, and last night I decided to do my old "standby" remedy.... a hot toddy.  I've been able to eat and drink almost everything without a sign of dumping syndrome so far, so I never even considered that this might be the ONE thing that caused it for me.  So....I mixed up a shot of whiskey, some lemon juice, some honey, and hot water, and took it to bed to nurse....

Bad idea!!   I no more than finished it, than I started getting the shakes, and nauseated, and barely made it to the bathroom before becoming violently ill.

Okay....no more hot toddy for me!!  Gotta find a new remedy!

Okay, here’s an update on Erica.  As many of you know, Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield has denied all appeals for me to have the minimally invasive back surgery called the X-Stop, which would have been an outpatient procedure, performed under local anesthesia, and with little or no post-op rehab needed.   I saw my neurosurgeon today to find out my other options.  It’s not good.  I am not a candidate for the Aspen Fusion (which would have been similar to the X-Stop), because of the instability of my spine.  And my spine is at the point where the Stenosis is considered SEVERE.  If I don’t want permanent nerve damage (and there may already be some), my only other option is to have a laminectomy and fusion, where they will remove bone from the back part of my spine, push the spinal cord out of the way and enlarge the passageways for the nerves going down into my legs, then they will take metal hardware and screws and position them on my spine and screw them in.  I guess they glue or somehow attach some of the bone they removed to some parts of the spine so that it will fuse later on.  Right now, they are only planning on fusing one level, but I’ll need to double check with them next week at my pre-op appointment, because she was concerned about a tipped vertebrae at our last meeting, but it is not visible on the MRI (only on the X-ray) and she did not mention it today when looking at the MRI.   They want to do it right away.  So, the surgery is scheduled for April 26^th  at 7:30 a.m. at Rose Hospital, and will take a minimum of 5 hours.  I will be in the hospital for at least 3 days.  I will be fitted for a hard plastic brace prior to surgery, along with something called a bone stimulator.  It is a good thing I lost all that weight.  I will not even be allowed to BEGIN physical therapy for 3 months.   I am trying to look at this in a positive light, but it’s hard, because I am so ANGRY that I could scream.  I feel that I am being forced to have a massively invasive, massively expensive surgical procedure that I don’t want and don’t need, and which will force me to take a distribution from my 401K to help pay for….when a much less expensive and invasive procedure would have accomplished the same result (releasing pressure on my spine and the nerves leading to my legs).  I have done everything I can think of to do, contacted everyone I can think of to contact, and now am sitting here trying not to cry with frustration.  The only thing I can compare how I’m feeling to is being dragged kicking and screaming into a dark alley, where I will face the virtual “rape” of my body, which I will then be expected to pay for.   I’m sorry….I know this sounds awfully self-pitying, and maybe it is.  But that’s just how I’m feeling, and I can’t change it.  If you have a connection to the Divine, you might include a little request that I find a way to gracefully accept what I cannot change, and which hopefully, will relieve my pain.   Blessings to you, Erica

I'm in HEAVEN!!  Today, just over 11 months out.... I am 2 pounds BELOW my surgeon's goal weight for me!!  And only 8 pounds from my own goal!!  OMG, I can hardly believe it.  I have lost almost 140 pounds!!  I haven't weighed less than 170 since I was 18 years old!  And not only that, but I'm actually wearing, right now, a pair of size TEN designer jeans that my daughter gave me because she didn't like the style.  And.....what did she get me for Yule????  Stuff from Victoria's Secret!!  "Because, Mom....you've never had a chance to wear this kind of stuff, and you deserve it for working so hard!!"  And my youngest daughter?  Gave me a whole make-over and facial for the new year!!  A new look to go along with my new body!!   Doing the HAPPYNAKEDPAGANDANCE!!!!

I am now nearly 11 months out, and 1 have just a little over 3 pounds to go to make my surgeon's goal for me, but about 13 to make my own goal.  And I've been teeter-tottering back and forth between 3 and 5 pounds for over 6 weeks.  I really need to kick butt and cut down a little more, or try and exercise more (but right now, my back is preventing me from doing that - and I will require surgery sometime in the near future).   But, I'm excited, anyways.  I've been steadily losing inches and going down in size.... from a women's 28 pants to a size 12.... then a couple of days ago, my daughter gave me a pair of "Seven" designer jeans that she didn't care for because they were too "high rise" for her.  Only problem was, they were a size 10, so I might not be able to wear them right away.  Well, I got them home, and took them out of the bag and held them up, and I thought.... ya know?  Those LOOK like they'll fit me..... so I tried them on for the heck of it..... and THEY DID!!!  I wore them all day yesterday and they felt just fine.  And I was "stylin".... ya know?  Amazing.  I look at myself in the mirror, and can't believe that less than a year ago, I was HUGE and unhappy and hid behind anything I could find whenever a camera came out.... and now, I'm right there..... "yeah, take my picture.... I want to post it to SparkPeople and OH and Facebook!"

I've been going to the gym 3 times per week, and working out at least 3 hours, usually more, each time.  I'm keeping my carbs low (under 50), my fats low (under 25) and my proteins high (between 90 and 120g).  I'm drinking at least 8 cups of water per day, taking my vitamins and fiber, and yet in the past week, I've gained 1.6 pounds.  I WAS at 184, and am now at 185.6.  And I've been changing up my exercise routines, too.  I'm doing over an hour and 15 minutes of straight cardio - the treadmill at 3 mph on the "weight loss" program - where it varies the incline from 0 to 7.5% while you're walking, in order to keep your heart rate up....the stationary bike at an intensity of 7 for 30 minutes (doing 11 mph).... and either the elliptical or the rowing machine for 15 - 20 minutes depending on which machine I use.  I'll do the rowing machine for a week, and then the elliptical, and I just started using the "weight loss" program on the treadmill.... but those two things should be enough to "shock" my body into continuing to keep its metabolism up.  AND I recently added swimming to my routine - and I understand that it is considered not only cardio, but also resistance exercise.  And I do the weight machines for the fat on my back and under my arms, and to strengthen my knees, in addition to 45 minutes of physical therapy exercises!!  So, I'm MOVING my body.... I'm pushing it.  And I'm eating according to plan.  So.... WHY would I GAIN weight???  This is freaking me out!!

I can hardly believe it..... I have lost over 120 pounds since September of 2008.  I've gone from a size 28 pants, to a really baggy size 16.  I'll have to be getting new pants soon!  And I've had to give away nearly everything in my closet.  Some of the things I just can't bear to give up, so I'll try to have them altered, but I don't know if that will work.  I went shopping at Macy's the other day, just to TRY ON some business suits that would be suitable for job interviews (because I've got to get down to business now, finding a job), and was amazed that even with REGULAR size 16 outfits (not 16W), the skirts were invariably too big for me, although the jackets seemed to fit fairly well.  At least it gave me a starting point to order a couple of suits from Roaman's catalog.  I know, I know.... I swore that I'd never order from a "big lady's" catalog again, but their suits are half the price of Macy's (and the ones at Macy's were on sale!), and they go down to size 12W, so I guess I can still get stuff there for a while.  Too bad WalMart doesn't carry women's suits!!  HaHaHa!

Also.... I just want you to know.... I am sitting here at my kitchen table with my legs crossed at the KNEE!!  I don't even remember being able to do that as a teenager!

And I wanted to comment on exercise (I know.... one of our favorite topics).  When this whole journey started, I could not walk far because of the pain in my back and legs.  I'd maybe get 500 feet and have to stop and huff and puff for 3 or 4 minutes.  Then, I'd have to sit down every chance I got, to wait until the pain was eased enough to go further.  Finally, my surgeon said that I could substitute the stationary bike for the walking.... but even then, I was only able to ride it for 7 minutes at an intensity level of 1.  NOW..... I'm at the gym for nearly 3 hours at a time.  I walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes at 3 mph.  I ride the stationary bike for 30 minutes at about 11 mph and an intensity level of 7.  I do the elliptical or the rowing machine (at level 10) for 15 minutes.  Then, I do about half an hour to 45 minutes of physical therapy exercises including some Pilates, and half an hour of weight training, and finally, I do about 25 minutes of swimming the breast-stroke.  I've had to buy a snorkle and mask to do it because I am not allowed to raise my head out of the water to breathe - it would put my back into a "flexion" position that my physical therapist says is a no-no.  But the point is.... I'm ACTIVE again!!!  I can WALK again!!!  I can move without significant pain!!

But, the epidurals I was getting that made all this possible have stopped working.  I spoke to the neurologist on Tuesday, and she is ordering another MRI for me to see what's going on with the back.  Seems she is not as enthusiastic about the minimally invasive X-Stop surgery now as she was 6 months ago, and is not as willing  to consider it.  She also says that the only insurance that covers it is Medicare.  She DID say that if I wanted to push it, she would attempt to get BCBS to authorize the surgery, but she wasn't optimistic about it.  I told her that I am not willing to go the route of laminectomy and fusion yet... but that Flexeril was not working and the Norco that I've got is knocking me for a loop.  Seems the more weight I lose, the loopier I get when I take it.  So, she suggested Neurontin (or Gabapentin).  It's specifically for nerve pain.  I will pick up the prescription today and see how my body reacts to it.

I REALLY do not want to lose these physical gains I've been able to make.  Except for my back, I feel like a whole new person!  I'm ecstatically happy and ready for whatever life has to throw at me.  I hope I get a wonderful job that will tide me over till it's time to retire.  I've got applications in for federal, state, and city positions, in addition to Kaiser (where I'm considered a "strong" candidate for their open position).  Anyone here work for Kaiser?  If so, what is their policy with regard to WLS and post-operative follow-up?  Will I be able to change over to a Kaiser doctor who is knowledgeable about WLS and malabsorptive issues?  I'm a little concerned....

Anyways,  here's to a greatly improved life and outlook on things!!

Greetings OH Friends!   I just returned from a two week vacation last Thursday, and boy, was it nice to be home.  We (my partner and I) went to Yellowstone for a week - where we got up close and personal with 3 grizzlies, several herds of bison, two gorgeous male elk with HUGE racks, coyotes, and lots of bald eagles.  Then we went to the Big Horn Mountains and got some good pictures of moose and mule deer, and then to Thermopolis to soak in the hot springs and see the dinasaur digs, and to the Wind River Indian Reservation, and finally, to stay with Nick from here on OH at his hunting compound on 800 acres just outside of Casper for a couple of days.  I've got to say, Nick is one incredible guy!  He has this small compound consisting of an unfinished one-room cabin that would sleep 6 or 7 easily, and just a few steps away, he has this "shipping container" that's been made into a long narrow cabin with two sets of sturdy bunk beds and a small sink and bathroom with a chemical toilet and real shower.  Our stay with him was really neat.  We got to see hundreds of antelope, and meet his friend Dave, who is a falconer, and see his spirit friend (a HUGE stag mule deer with a rack that is not to be believed, and who is not afraid of Nick and doesn't run away).  We also got to see the path a glacier took just on the other side of his property, and take some incredible pictures of the sunset.  He even gave us rides on his ATV.  He says that when he first got it, he weighed so much he had to lean back just to turn the handles.  NOW, he has lost enough weight to fit two people on the machine with room to spare.  I'm very thankful to him for his hospitality, and all his wonderful cooking!

 Okay, it's official!!!   As of 7:30 this morning, I am officially down ONE HUNDRED POUNDS!!  I'm thrilled to death, just tickled down to my very toes.  I never thought I'd lose this much weight.... and it's still coming off.  I have 37 more pounds to meet my surgeon's goal, and 57 if I want to meet my own goal.  But this is one heck of a good start!!

Love to everyone,
Erica

About a month ago, I realized that all my 3X shirts were basically "falling off me".... so I ordered a whole new bunch of 1x shirts in pretty colors.  They should be able to last me a while, as I can tuck them in or belt them over my slacks.  One of the shirts is chocolate brown, and I didn't have a pair of pants that would go with it, but I really wanted to wear it.  So, off I took myself last week to WalMart to see what they had.  Since the last time I had a pair of women's pants on (see the "purple" pictures in my photo album) they were a size 24W, I figured that a 22W would be a good place to start.  So I got a couple of different styles of Khaki and chocolate brown slacks and tried them on..... waaaaaay too big.  Okay, so I take them back and get a size 20W.  Still way too big.  Hmmm.... a size 18W??  Well, they fit, but loosely, and I could tell I would shrink out of them in no time at all.  Shaking my head in disbelief, I went and found a couple of pairs of 16W and tried them on.  I couldn't believe it!!!  They fit.  A tiny bit snug, but with a little spandex or something in the material that made them hold their shape and move with me instead of cutting me in half.!!  I HAVEN'T WORN A SIZE 16 SINCE I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!  Now I understand that today's size 16 is like a size 20 when I was back in high school... but just the sound of it.... incredible and amazing.  I'm floating on air!