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I survived my surgery both RNY and umbilical hernia repair were done on Friday. Apparently my BP was so low after surgery they couldn't give me any pain meds which explains why I was so uncomfortable. The NG Tube in particular was not my friend. I got behind in the pain cycle and so they had to drug me heavily to get me back ahead of it. That made it difficult to get up and walk so more pain...a horrible cycle. I finally discharged on Monday, I feel like kind of a wimp because they had to keep me so long but feeling much better since I got home. My surgeon came to see me every morning, held me hand to cheer me up and asked the question above to try to make me crack a smile...I was pretty pathetic. I'm sure I had the right surgeon for me. I finally kind of smiled at him the last day, I think that is why he finally let me go home. I was really glad I had my quilt because my room was pretty cold. Now I am dealing with this nasty stomach tube draining...I work in the medical field and still think it's gross but I also appreciate its value. So now I can walk pretty ok (using a walker though just to make sure I don't fall over), getting up and down isn't so bad. I am thinking more clearly. My current pain level is probably around a 2 or 3 but I haven't had any pain meds since 11pm. My low back hurts from hunching over so I am trying to concentrate on standing straight when I walk. Sleeping is still an issue. I get foamy when I lay down and feel like I have to cough every few minutes. Not sure if this is due to fluid build up from being off my water pill or not having a BM in over 24 hours, sorry for the TMI. Time to go walk, more later.

AS I am waiting for my Mom to pick me up and listening to music, this Rascal Flatts song, "When the Sand Runs Out", is playing and the words seems so appropriate:

Today's the first day of the rest of my life

I'm gonna stop lookin' back and start movin' on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave somethin' here
Go out on a ledge, without any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah, I wanna be runnin'
When the sand runs out

I am definitely at peace about my surgery. I was a little nervous about it not happening but I asked God for a sign that I was still on track and he sent it to me thru my surgeon. I had some questions about the post op prescriptions he gave me last week at the pre-op visit and I remembered he said I could email him if I had any questions so I wrote an email. I got a response within 10 minutes and the last words in the email were "Have a Blessed Day." My stress level went from a 8 to a 1 just like that. Then all day little messages were popping up all over, in a song, in an email, randomly on Facebook. I'm glad to know I will be in good hands and everything that is meant to happen in the OR will happen. I can't wait to be done with work. Even though I will be on clear liquids only Thursday I have plans to go get a mani (no polish)/pedi (blank with pink polka dots), a few last minute cleaning items and then off to the movies. I thought it would be a good distraction and I really want to see the movie so why not do something I enjoy. I have a list but I still hope I don't forget to do something.

In addition to starving myself (AKA the pre-op diet) which I am taking very seriously because of my "marked hepatomegaly", I found myself getting very emotional and nostalgic this weekend. I also spent a good bit of time cleaning. I would guess that I am not alone since I will not want to do it after surgery for awhile. Kitchen and bathrooms are done, all I have left now is to clean the guest room, take out the trash, a run to Goodwill to drop of clothes that are already too big and then I can clean the carpets. I supposed I should probably give my dog a bath too. I took a break to watch a movie and found myself daydreaming at a commercial about food...why is there so much advertising about food? I feel like it is taunting me right now but I have not caved and actually don't have a desire too, this surgery is too important. I always feel so accomplished when the kitchen and bathrooms are clean. All in all a good weekend. Keeping positive thoughts that my liver will be shrunk enough. Working the next three days will help keep my mind occupied.

Today I completed my pre-op appointment. It was very informative. I met with the nurse coordinator who walked me thru the whole surgery process and then met with the doctor. He started on begging me to stick to my pre-op diet because my gall bladder US showed marked enlargement of my liver and if it is too big he can't do the surgery. I have been very good all along and have lost at least 20 lbs. since that US so I am hoping I don't go into the OR and come right back out. Also met with the dietician. Then off to admitting for blood work, EKG and chest X-ray. My kidney values were a little high on my last blood work so I am also concerned about that. Everything else has gone so smoothly I am keeping the faith that this will not be a problem but the surgeon did scare me a little. Comments welcome with any positive thoughts or people who have experienced the same that want to tell me everything was great.

I finished my surgery quilt yesterday (pics posted in photo album). This was very therapeutic for me because it tells my story of my fight with obesity, I'm calling it "Weighing in". From The top left, going left to right is the symbol for infertility, a polycystic ovary, lungs. Row 2 Live, symbol for Triglycerides, CPAP mask. Row 3 heart, symbol for depression, brain. Row 4 heart rhythm, symbol for diabetes and lastly the RNY.

I am on day 3 of my pre-op diet of 2 shakes and 1 lean and green meal. My stomach is growling all the time and for the first time since I started this process I am struggling to maintain my willpower. I hope this gets better soon. Maybe I should start a new sewing project to distract me.

Today I am hoping to finish my lap quilt that I plan to take to the hospital with me. I always take a throw quilt or blanket when I stay away from home and this one I designed to tell the story of my fight with obesity in appliqued quilt squares. I am super happy  about how it is looking so far. I will post pictures and the story that goes with it when it is completed.

I am so happy the scheduler called me today with my date...July 11th. Work is very busy until then so it will be here before I know it.

I am so happy I found out today that my RNY was approved...still waiting for the date but I am so excited. The lady at Aetna said it's really rare to get a same day approval she had to check it twice to make sure. I am just super diligent about everything so I made sure I kept calling them to verify and I double checked all my supervised PCP visits. Staying on top of it was important for me it helped keep me sane during that 3 month waiting period. Now I can start getting nervous about the surgery but still so excited! Yeah!!

OK, time to start writing more. I finished my 3/4 month supervised diet on Thursday and called the surgeons office to verify that they had everything. Got a call back, looks good but I should talk to the insurance guy...OK. Have been calling since Thursday and finally got him on the phone today. I don't have a weight marked on my records from my PCP in 2012...I have 2011 and 2013 but they need a 2012 note...uggghhh. Here is where my comorbidities helped me out. One quick call to my pulmonologists office and I have 3 weights/notes from 2012 to pick from...Yeah!! So now he is going to submit to the insurance today for approval. Let the nail biting begin will I await the answer from the insurance.