ZenBunni
2 1/2 weeks out
Jan 01, 2011
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/vsg/4296093/Feel-depressed-and-Regret-at-6-weeks-post-op/action,replies/topic_id,4296093/page,2/
I came here today to see if there were any posts that maybe I could relate to, to help me get thru this hump. All I can say is that I am in a very similar boat right now, and I am so grateful to all of you - Your posts have helped immensely =)
I am about 2 1/2 weeks out, and I have been up and down with the surgery. For the first 4 days I had SERIOUS buyer's remorse, but then I had to give myself a serious talking to ... I was practically suicidal - couldnt imagine a light at the end of the tunnel, but I did get better. It helped to talk, and when I had feelings to try and explore WHY I was feeling that way, not just letting myself go down the emotional path.
My current issue is that I am now on the puree diet, and I am facing that stark realization of my food addiction. I almost cried at the thought of a Taco Bell taco the other day! I had to overeat and wind up vomiting (for the first time since surgery) to make myself realize that - yes, you can eat solid food now, but NO you can still only eat a very small amount. I did alot of research before the surgery, but I think I only focused on the initial complications. I didn't think I was a true emotional eater. Well, I didn't typically eat to stuff my feelings, but I am slowly realizing that I did overeat - I ate too much when I did eat, filled myself, to compensate for something? I don't know yet ... but eventually I will. It is a process.
I think it's safe to say that the reason we had this done is because we needed something that "forced" us to examine our choices and food issues - But that doesn't mean the process of dealing with it will be easy. But its nice to have others we can talk to that understand and share the same problems. You cant always get that from a family member, etc. Sometimes you need people that can relate ... and sometimes you need to see a therapist. There is nothing wrong with it, it's healthy, its normal, and like my Dr said to me about the surgery "It doesnt fix things, its a tool". The message board, talking to friends and family, a therapist, etc - they are all tools we can use to get thru the hard parts. Doesnt make the problems go away, just gives us ways to deal with them and fix them.
I am very grateful for all of you that posted. It has been very inspiring and helpful to me to read all of your experiences, to know that we are not alone - And that one day I will be thinner and healthy AND be able to eat a Taco Bell taco =) LOL
0 comments
I came here today to see if there were any posts that maybe I could relate to, to help me get thru this hump. All I can say is that I am in a very similar boat right now, and I am so grateful to all of you - Your posts have helped immensely =)
I am about 2 1/2 weeks out, and I have been up and down with the surgery. For the first 4 days I had SERIOUS buyer's remorse, but then I had to give myself a serious talking to ... I was practically suicidal - couldnt imagine a light at the end of the tunnel, but I did get better. It helped to talk, and when I had feelings to try and explore WHY I was feeling that way, not just letting myself go down the emotional path.
My current issue is that I am now on the puree diet, and I am facing that stark realization of my food addiction. I almost cried at the thought of a Taco Bell taco the other day! I had to overeat and wind up vomiting (for the first time since surgery) to make myself realize that - yes, you can eat solid food now, but NO you can still only eat a very small amount. I did alot of research before the surgery, but I think I only focused on the initial complications. I didn't think I was a true emotional eater. Well, I didn't typically eat to stuff my feelings, but I am slowly realizing that I did overeat - I ate too much when I did eat, filled myself, to compensate for something? I don't know yet ... but eventually I will. It is a process.
I think it's safe to say that the reason we had this done is because we needed something that "forced" us to examine our choices and food issues - But that doesn't mean the process of dealing with it will be easy. But its nice to have others we can talk to that understand and share the same problems. You cant always get that from a family member, etc. Sometimes you need people that can relate ... and sometimes you need to see a therapist. There is nothing wrong with it, it's healthy, its normal, and like my Dr said to me about the surgery "It doesnt fix things, its a tool". The message board, talking to friends and family, a therapist, etc - they are all tools we can use to get thru the hard parts. Doesnt make the problems go away, just gives us ways to deal with them and fix them.
I am very grateful for all of you that posted. It has been very inspiring and helpful to me to read all of your experiences, to know that we are not alone - And that one day I will be thinner and healthy AND be able to eat a Taco Bell taco =) LOL
No liquid swill diet for me !!! YEEESSSS
Dec 05, 2010
So I am EXTRAORDINARILY happy! Just got off the phone with the Doc's office and I only have to do a 2 day clear liquid pre-op diet. Here's the catch - I don't know if I am more excited by the fact that I only have to do a 2 day liquid diet (God I hate soup!) or the fact that the nurse at Dr. Mo's said I had a low BMI, so I didnt have to worry about 2 week prep .... WOW.
Guess I need to start getting used to this!
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Guess I need to start getting used to this!
Ohhhh - the nerves have started!
Dec 05, 2010
Maybe if I just Blog .....?
God - I hate the word. How could I ever apply it to myself? Blogger? Ewwww ...
Well I have to do something to get it out, or I will go nuts. Hey maybe that's why I am overweight now! Too much stuff in my head! It couldn't have had anything to do with my peanut butter addiction, or my penchant for eating dinner at 9pm ... NAH. So I have to get it out somehow - Let's try Blogging! (Nope the word still makes me churn - I think I will have to work on that!)
So I found out last week that 'lo and behold I got approved for VSG on my first appeal thru BCBS of CA. Wow! That was *hoped for* but not entirely expected. The wonderful man that process my appeal said that the letter I sent was one of the top 2 appeal letter he had ever read, and that my letter did all to win my appeal - not the letter my PCP wrote on my behalf. Well, I don't care - a HUGE thanks to Dr. W anyway for the letter!
So ... now what ....
Well, I am sh*t scared frankly, but then I think that's a good thing all in all. I have had 41 years of learning how to love this body, and now I am changing it - albeit for the better. I also think that means that I am taking it seriously, which I should! I think for me the biggest thing is just the fear of the unknown. Unknown = how do I deal with food, how do I eat v. not eat, how do I handle taking the time off work (kinda worried about that really - I had to take 2 weeks off for because I dislocated my knee and now I will be back at work for exactly 1 day before I need to take another 2 weeks off? Well if it's meant to be - Its meant to be!), worried about how I will handle the whole diet dilemma for the first few months - including going back to work and starting school again in Jan! YIKES!
I do this to myself tho. I tend to sit still and contemplate for a long time and then burst out with a bunch of changes all at once. So I am getting VSG and starting back to school to get my RN in a month \o/!! I am actually VERY excited about all of it - in theory ... It's the reality of it that scares me to death. Well - only one way to do it ... DO IT!
I am excited. I am scared. I am nervous. And I am going to be just fine =)
0 comments
God - I hate the word. How could I ever apply it to myself? Blogger? Ewwww ...
Well I have to do something to get it out, or I will go nuts. Hey maybe that's why I am overweight now! Too much stuff in my head! It couldn't have had anything to do with my peanut butter addiction, or my penchant for eating dinner at 9pm ... NAH. So I have to get it out somehow - Let's try Blogging! (Nope the word still makes me churn - I think I will have to work on that!)
So I found out last week that 'lo and behold I got approved for VSG on my first appeal thru BCBS of CA. Wow! That was *hoped for* but not entirely expected. The wonderful man that process my appeal said that the letter I sent was one of the top 2 appeal letter he had ever read, and that my letter did all to win my appeal - not the letter my PCP wrote on my behalf. Well, I don't care - a HUGE thanks to Dr. W anyway for the letter!
So ... now what ....
Well, I am sh*t scared frankly, but then I think that's a good thing all in all. I have had 41 years of learning how to love this body, and now I am changing it - albeit for the better. I also think that means that I am taking it seriously, which I should! I think for me the biggest thing is just the fear of the unknown. Unknown = how do I deal with food, how do I eat v. not eat, how do I handle taking the time off work (kinda worried about that really - I had to take 2 weeks off for because I dislocated my knee and now I will be back at work for exactly 1 day before I need to take another 2 weeks off? Well if it's meant to be - Its meant to be!), worried about how I will handle the whole diet dilemma for the first few months - including going back to work and starting school again in Jan! YIKES!
I do this to myself tho. I tend to sit still and contemplate for a long time and then burst out with a bunch of changes all at once. So I am getting VSG and starting back to school to get my RN in a month \o/!! I am actually VERY excited about all of it - in theory ... It's the reality of it that scares me to death. Well - only one way to do it ... DO IT!
I am excited. I am scared. I am nervous. And I am going to be just fine =)
