zieweaver

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It's 18 days post op. 

I'm going back to work today and a little worried about my strength holding up all day. I've been pretty active this weekend (4 parties in 3 days) but very low key and stressless.  Well, it's the last 2 weeks of school and my students are going CRAZY...welcome back to stress!  Lets see how that works...

I'm really pleased at my progress so far.  I've lost 39lbs total since I started this process (13lbs post-op) My incisions are healing nicely, I'm off the blood thiners and pain meds, and I'm back to eating almost anything I want.  I've still not tried anything spicey our of fear of being sick.

But my port site is bothering me. Last night I had trouble sleeping because it hurt to turn on my sides.  I read a few posts/blogs that said it could take up to a year for the port site to completely heal...that was news to me!  And I wasn't prepared for it to stick out as much as it does.  It's only visible to others when I lay on my back, but it's really kinda weird.

And oh ya...my poor Man is wanting some...you know...and I'm just not ready for that.  I know he'll be fine and that he understands, but it's hard to feel "romantic" with bruises and scabs, and lumps all over yout stomach!  I hope I can get over that feeling soon. 

My surgery went well!  When I arrived (9am) everything with check-in went smoothly.  Pre-op was fine too, took a little longer than I though, spent 2 hours waiting, but I knew there was a proceedure (a sleeving I believe) before me and figured I needed to be flexible.  When I woke up in post-op (1pm) all I wanted was to see Ted (boyfriend of 10 yrs).  Of course as soon as I did I tried to cry!  That's just how I roll! I spent almost 2 hours in post-op, most of it waiting for a room to be cleaned.

Some things I learned in the hospital:
     - Even the Cleveland Clinic (world famous and all) has it's problems.
     - Hospitals and their schedules revolve around Patient Transport Department
     - Cathiters are gross but awesome (never having to get up and pee was awesome!)

I also learned that Ted is incredible!  The things he did for me in the hospital and since we got home...I'll never forget how wonderful he is and never question that he loves me!

As far as the progress of my recovery goes it's really good.  I've not had any nausea, no vomiting, and have only take one dose of pain neds since I got home.  I went for a short walk yesterday and might go tot he grocery store tonight.  Food is another issue.  I'm having trouble getting enough protein in!  I need to work on that.  And the fact that I'm NEVER hungry doesn't help. 

I guess I shouldn't bitch...I am already losing weight!

It's here!  Finally!  I report to the hospital at 9am TODAY!

I'm a little nervous and don't feel really well.  I think the last 2 1/2 weeks of liquid protien and then the last 2 days of clear liquid has taken its toll on me - but that's what I was supposed to do.  I've done everything I could to make this work.  Now we move forward from the waiting to the doing! 

My Facebook post today was "today is the day when what you want and what you need walk hand in hand" and I think its a mantra I'll keep in my mind the next few days.  No matter what I go through the next few days (and weeks and months) while I'm recovering, I have to remember that not only do I want this, I need it!  I've gained about 10lbs a year since I can remember and and at that rate, I'd hit 400lbs by the time I was 41 yrs old....how long can you live at that weight?

So I'm done!  I'll never be this heavy again!  Never!  Even if I don't reach a "perfect" weight or a "perfect" BMI, I'll never see 330 on the scale again!

Thanks to all my friends and family for their support!

Yep, it's my birthday - #38 and I'm glad to see 40 on the horizon.  I think each new decade brings a new enlightened strength to who I am as a person.  And starting this journey now, with hope of being closer to my goal weight by my 40th b-day adds to that strength.

But for the fun of this birthday....

It's 2 days pre-op for me and many of you know what that means - Poop-juice Day!  That's right, my birthday breakfast consisted of 4 cups of "go-lytely" and a pending date with my porceline thrown.

But alas, I've been stood up for this date as the prescription isn't working!  Weird!  So, I will probably get to do this again tomorrow! Yippee (or should I say Yippoo)!

UGH!

Today is not a good day.  I feel very detached & depressed and have actually cried 4 times since I woke up.

Last night, around 7:30pm, I learned that my surgury date has been postponed from May 10th to May 14th.  That might not be a big deal except for the following facts:

1.  I have been on a liquid diet (protien shakes, SF jello, and SF popscicles) since Sunday April 25th.  This will mean 19 days before surgury instead of 14.

2. My birthday is May 12th.  So instead of having a lovely strained creamy soup for my birthday dinner with a dessert of peach yogurt smoothie, I'll be having...you guessed it...another protien shake.

3.  I will miss my friend's baby shower on the 14th and my niece's bridal shower on the 15th.  I was planning to attend both, even for just a quick apperience to present my gift, but I can't imagine that I can leave the hospital and go straight to a baby shower.

4.  I had to stop working out, which I really enjoy and is so very good for me, because I'm light-headed when I do!  I've also had more headaches and even 2 migraines since I started the liquid diet than I've had in months.

5. I can't get the AWEFUL TASTE of these protien shakes out of my mouth!

I know I need to dwell on the positive - I'm preparing for a life changing event and the outcome will be better than all the pain/discomfort/disappointment I'm going through right now, but it still SUCKS!!!

That's right, my surgury date is one week from today!  My current emotion is excitement.  I'm not worried about the surgury or the recovery, I know I can do that.  It's the waiting that was bothering me.  I felt like I was waiting to start something and I had no control over starting it.  Even everything I'm doing to prepare for the surgury - working out, dieting, preparing for my substitute at work - it's all just waiting.

I'm not good at waiting!

Well, insurance was MUCH faster than I expected.  I'm cleared and have a tentitive date...May 10th!  I found this out on Friday, just 17day prior to surgury.  My date is tentitive since it's not a usual surgury date and my Dr needs to approve.  I'll know for certain tomorrow.

This gave me only a little bit of time to prepare mentally for the pre-op liquid diet, which I started this morning.  I'll admit that I keep telling myself that I can do anything for 2 weeks...now I just need to believe it.

I guess I shouldn't have thought this would move quickly.  On Feb 25th attended a pre-surgery workshop to learn about the program and facilities offered at the Cleveland Clinic.  Then 2 days of testing, nutrition and psych visits in March.  Around rolls April and I meet Dr. Brethauer and finalize my pre-surgery requirements.  Now I wait....

Darned insurance companies!  SPEED IT UP WILL YOU!