Question:
Has anyone here tried overeaters annonomus before the surgery option?
My Brother in law the DR isn't haoppy about my having the surgery and beggs me to try OA first. I have tried EVERYTHING except OA. Their thing is basicaly nothing "white" with a personal 24/7 coach you can call and an AA type of support system. I hate to worry my sister, and he has some valid healt related arguments, but....any old OA members out there? — robyn R. (posted on April 30, 2002)
April 30, 2002
Hi Robyn,
I have tried OA on 3 seperate occassions and have had no success. You may
want to give it a try, but here is why it didn't work for me. First of all,
I have an anxiety disorder and it's difficult for me to "reach
out" to people. I keep thinking I can do it myself. Although they say
you don't have to be a part of an organized religion, I am not religious
and found it very difficult to turn to a "higher power" when I
don't exactly believe in any. I could go on forever, but those are my main
reasons. If you have any other questions, feel free to e-mail me:
[email protected]
Hope that helps,
Cathy
— mzcath
April 30, 2002
I tried OA for a couple of meetings. I didn't really feel comfortable in a
group like that, even though it was small. In addition, everyone already
knew everyone else, so I felt like I was holding them back because I was a
beginner.
— Christine L.
April 30, 2002
I love OA. I have been going for 14 years now. I also belong to an online
OA group too, although it is not OA sanctioned I don't think, just follows
the OA philosphy. My wls is just a tool & it works nicely with my OA
program. I hope by working the 12 steps of OA ---that THIS TIME, I will be
able to keep my weight off. This is not the first time that I have taken
off over a hundred pounds. It will be the last time, however. This time it
is for keeps. OA helps me deal with the "head hunger." OA helps
me face my issues. OA gives me another support system. OA compliments my
weight loss tool of RNY nicely. While many who belong to OA do not believe
in weight loss surgery, we each have our own methods for actually losing
the weight. There is no such thing as a bad meeting. I also go to AA step
study meetings in conjunction with my OA and wls. I am not an alcoholic,
but it is an open meeting, and the same 12 steps. One bite at a time, one
meal at a time, I can do this.
— Barbara B.
April 30, 2002
I spent 6 1/2 years going to OA. While I learned alot about myself and
dealing with people, places and things, I did not have success with losing
weight. I did at one point lose about 50 pds., but sure got that back in no
time (plus more). Through all my diets, I always said that the fat fairy
would come at night and puff, I would have all my weight back. NOTHING can
compare with what I have now. I had open RNY 4 1/2 months ago and have lost
102 pds. It has not been completely easy, but certainly not as difficult as
going on diets and the struggle that went with them. Investigate all the
information you can and then make the decision for yourself. This is your
life. Good Luck in your decision.
— Jan T.
April 30, 2002
HI, I have been a member of oa on and off for years. Their philosophy is
based on AA, they follow the big book, the steps and traditions. Only
people who follow graysheet are into the no white stuff. Certainly not all
oa members are following that diet, it's terrible and not nutritionally
balanced. I would take the sheet to a nutritionist before following it.
Some sponsors won't sponsor you if you are doing white sugar and white
flour, others will. OA groups are all independent and take on the
personality of their group. I know this from going to different oa meetings
in several different states I've lived in. If you don't like one meeting
try another, it might be totally different. There are also different types
of meetings, big book meetings, open session meetings, meetings where there
is a speaker and not a lot of sharing, meetings where there is tons of
sharing. It all varies. One of the initially weirdest things is the no
cross talk rule. In many meetings you say something and noone comments.
They aren't being rude, there is just no cross talk at these meetings. At
first it's strange. Also don't talk about specific food. You can say I have
problems with sweets, but don't talk about the deep dark chocolate dove bar
in loving detail, some groups feel this might make some members run off and
binge. One of the best things I like about oa is the idea of not one size
fits all. You will hear leaders say "take what you want and leave the
rest". I have gotten some great, and some not so great things from
meetings. I don't see it as an either or thing, though some oa meetings
aren't wls friendly. Some are, it's again so dependent on the personality
of the specific meeting. Best of luck
— Becky K.
April 30, 2002
At the risk of my anonymity, I am a 'member' of OA. OA is great for
helping me to control compulsive overeating. But working the program did
and does not help me to lose weight, only weight loss surgery did that.
There are OA-ers who will attempt to make you feel like surgery is another
of the easy-way-out options. I see wls as another tool in battling morbid
obesity, and OA as a tool in controlling compulsive overeating and 'head
hunger'. I still use OA tools and know that surrendering my food obsession
to my higher power is the only way to conquer it. I respectfully disagree
with many of the eating plans proposed by many of the 'sponsors' and
recommend that you read some of the published books on food abstinence. We
are to avoid our 'trigger' foods. Thus I can eat 8 pieces of Godiva
chocolates (over the course of the entire day) for my birthday because that
will not trigger me to eat the whole one pound box. I cannot however eat a
dinner roll, without eating all eight in the bag. I can eat one serving of
bread when purchasing a sandwich at a restaurant, but if there were more
available at home, I would eat the rest, coming up with all sorts of crazy
justifications on why I should do so. So I don't keep bread in the house.
Your abstinence is from what ever YOUR trigger foods and trigger
circumstances are. I will notice an increased urge to eat excessively when
I am overly hungry, angry, lonely, tired or bored. Thus, I try to avoid
getting to the extreme point in any of those normal emotional states. OA
has taught me these things. The serenity prayer is also a great philosophy
for living. I have peace about my eating as a result of being in OA, I
have peace about my weight as a result of having weight loss surgery. Good
Luck to you. Know that your bro-in-law (The DOCTOR) has your best interest
at heart and just hasn't done enough research to know the full implications
for morbidly obese people.
— merri B.
April 30, 2002
I have been with oa in the past in the late 80's. I was successful in
losing about 100 lbs. but never completed the steps and never found a good
sponser (my fault) . So I thought I had it under control (wrong). I gained
it all back and then at least another 100 on top of it. I dont regret
having gone, it was a great support for me during a difficult time. I have
thought about going back after I have surgery, but I have no idea how I
will be received, having had the surgery. I know that head hunger will be
a really BIG problem for me.
— paulsgirl
April 30, 2002
I went to a couple meetings of OA with my friend. I have to say I think it
is just as much a load of BS as AA or NA. For one, I don't like the idea
of giving up my problem to my "higher power" because if god
wanted me to lose weight he would have done it by now. I don't like the
idea of saying I am helpless, etc. I am NOT helpless, and having this
surgery is my way of overcoming my problem. Also, I could barely contain
my laughter as I sat in these meetings full of middle-aged housewives
talking abou their problems with refined sugar or white flour. LOL! (no
offense to middle-aged housewives) Sorry, I guess maybe my age (I was 21 at
the time) just kept me from relating to the people in the meetings, and the
avoiding talking about specific foods was just a riot to me.
— Jennifer Y.
April 30, 2002
Dear Robyn,
I highly highly recommend OA. It is the only place I have personally
witnessed long term recovery from compulsive overeating. I was doing very
well in Oa 4 years ago. I got pregnant and used that as an excuse to leave
the program. I never went back because I really didn't want to do the
emotional work that is involved in OA. I had wls surgery and within a few
months started compulsively eating again and now I'm back in OA doing the
work that really needs to be done that enables me to stop destroying myself
with food. After a week back in the program I was able to lose the 7.5 lbs
I had gained and now I will be able to lose the rest of the weight. Wls
surgery can help you lose weight but keeping it off means getting to the
core of why you did it in the first place. I hope you try a few meetings,
even if you have the surgery you will find wonderful things in the OA
program. Best of luck.
— lori T.
April 30, 2002
I am a middle-aged woman (although not a housewife) and OA was not for me
either. I went to meetings at a couple of different places, one of which I
attended for about 3 months. It's just not a philosophy I believe in as
far as food is concerned. I just don't think that food is a true
addiction, at least not the same way alcohol and other drugs are. To say
that I am powerless over it is counter-productive for me. However, I would
never discourage anyone from trying it. I know it has been very helpful
for some people I know.
— garw
April 30, 2002
I totally agree with Gar on this one...I tried a couple of OA meetings
myself and didn't feel I could relate. However, just as there are
alcoholics who couldn't manage without AA, there are some overweight or
obese people who cannot manage with the support of OA. If it works for you,
don't let anyone discourage you. Everyone needs additional support at some
point, for differing reasons. It's not up to us to judge where that support
comes from. - Anna
— Anna L.
April 30, 2002
....make that "couldn't manage WITHOUT the support of OA." :o
— Anna L.
April 30, 2002
You owe it to yourself to see if it works FOR YOU. Others on this site who
respond flippantly about AA/NA/OA etc. are ignorant (evidently) of the
hundreds of thousands of people who are clean, sober, or food abstinent.
Of course, these people may not have a disease that will kill them.
Putting my anonymity on the line - I have been sober through aa for over 11
years - and I am not a whining housewife. I am a successful, senior
manager in a very large, nationwide organization. I have been happily
married for 11 years and now am a healthy, happy post-op. My point:
contempt prior to investigation kept me unhappy and without help for too
long. I applaud anyone who reaches for what works for them to become
happier and healthier. My God has ALWAYS been there for me - if I didn't
notice, it wasn't because HE wasn't there - it's because I wasn't. My
prayers are with you. Open RNY 7/17/01, -94, 43 to go
— blee01
May 1, 2002
Dear Robyn,
I'm not a member of OA or any other group. FOR ME it just wasn't a big
motivator. However, you never know, this could be something that works for
you. I would try everything possible before doing the WLS. Maybe give
yourself 6 months. Heck, schedule an appt. with WLS Dr. and if by then you
don't have to wait for the appt.(many appt. take that long to get anyway).
You never know-this may or may not click with you. My next door neighbor
has been very successful with weight watchers-I did okay but it wasn't what
I needed. I knew all they were saying etc....I would encourage you to check
into it. It certainly couldn't hurt!
— Linda M.
May 1, 2002
I lost 80 lbs going to OA for 9 months. The meeting place was everyday at
lunch right across the street downtown where I used to work. I had to quit
going to meetings cause I moved away then I got pregnant and within about 3
years I gained gained 110 lbs back. But it worked when I went to the
meetings. Now I have my tubes tied so I can't gain weight that way.
— Amy G.
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