Question:
I am curious as to what other people have told their employers about their surgery...
I have been lying to my boss and co-workers about why I have been taking off of work because I don't want anyone to know I am having surgery. Am I the only chicken or are there others out there?...and if I may ask...what reason did you give? I am considering not letting them know anything and just having to have an "emergency gall bladder surgery" on the day of my surgery...is that bad?????????????? — SherP (posted on September 8, 1999)
September 8, 1999
I told my employer that I was having my gall bladder out. It's the truth,
I am as well as the WLS. Funny thing, they asked me what I was going to do
about the absence of bile. So I told them "Oh it's going to be OK
because I'll be having a stomach reduction as well and won't need as
much." Although that's sort of back wards, it works for me :o)
— Fran W.
September 8, 1999
I have told my boss and co-workers all about it. They all just want me to
do what is best for my healthe
And after all that is why you are going to do this is for you not them
better to tell the truth I am sure you
know if you tell one lie you will have to tell Two. You shoud be very
happy for yourself and try not to worry about
wat others are thinking. Be postive and it will all be postive
— michele K.
September 8, 1999
I simply told my employer that I was going to have major surgery, period.
I didn't feel comfortable explaining to him what I was going to do. He
asked me if everything was ok, and I told him yes, and things would be much
better afterwards! I did tell some of my coworkers what I was going to
have done, and of course they didn't keep it quiet like I asked them to.
But, I am sure it was only a matter of time before they figured it out once
they started to see the weight come off.
— Tammy S.
September 8, 1999
Hi, I considered not telling my boss or co-workers. As a matter
of fact, I was going to tell them the same thing you are
thinking about. I finally decided to just tell them the truth
so that when I started loosing weight, they wouldn't think I
had cancer or something. Plus alot of others on this link
said that they received alot of support and understanding and
help by having their immediate co-workers know. I wasn't going
to tell initially because in all honesty I was embarrassed to
admit I couldn't loose weight in a way that others think is
easy for everyone. What really changed my mind was after I
went to a support group meeting. They made me realize that I
had nothing to be ashamed about and that I should feel good
about doing something that will give me a longer and healthy
life. You need to do whatever you are comfortable with, but
I bet you will be surprised at how well your co-workers will
take the news. I was very surprised at the response from mine.
My insurance company has approved my surgery, so now I see the
nutritionist and go from there. Good luck to you. Janice
— Janice M.
September 8, 1999
Hi, Sher--I guess I don't understand why you'd consider lying to your
co-workers. I think you'd be proud of your courage in taking such a step.
I let everyone know and now (8 weeks postop), I have a wonderful
"cheering section" at work. Good luck to you==
— charlene M.
September 8, 1999
I have been pondering the same thing...I am a tad ashamed to say that I too
feel people will think this is so drastic and why can't I do it like "
normal " people... I feel this stems from the crap we deal with with
society...it is difficult to step aside..I have decided to explain my real
reason for even looking into this surgery...I am on so much insulin and
since an RnY will affect carbohydrate absorption, thus I require LESS
insulin , it is the thing to do. I see this surgery, though highly invasive
and difficult, as a TOOL..a tool that will help me to start making the
right decisions...to give me the extra steps I need to move on and live a
better quality of life....I don't think it will solve my problems....but it
will leave me better capable of living...a life I love and adore. Do I
need to express more confidence in the face of others ( concerning the
surgery )..YES.. and every day, when I find yet another reason to just do
it, I find a bit more strength. We need to cherish ourselves...be proud of
the decision...it is the biggest step to recovery from obesity we can
make...admitting the need and embracing the possibilities...Good Luck and
Be Well..
— Jackie S.
September 8, 1999
Hi Sher: I told everyone I work with that I was having WLS, but I work in
a hospital and it was very acceptable. I suggest you do what you feel the
most comfortable with. I have lost 159# in 16 mo. and am doing great. Hope
you will have the same great experience that I have had. Good Luck and God
Bless, Jan Terry
— Jan T.
September 8, 1999
I told my employer exactly what I was doing and why. But I
was actually about the 8th person in our company to have the
surgery so it wasn't like they had never heard of it or seen
the results before.
— dboat
September 8, 1999
Sher ... it will come out eventually, be careful and think about the
consequences. I do not know what size company you work for, but wouldn't
it be better to tell them the truth. Lets be realistic ... they know your
overweight, they are going to notice that your dropping weight rapidly and
will probably be concerned ... then what? More lies, to cover up the first
ones? Empower yourself ... tell them the truth and be proud of it. You
have discovered a tool that will allow you to lead a better, more
productive, happier life and your grabbing hold of it. Frankly, to hell
with what others think (of course it matters what spouses & children
think and you need to be very gentle with their feelings & concerns).
Do you have a Human Resources Dept ? maybe you should talk with them. Good
Luck!
— Mary Anne M.
September 8, 1999
Well since emergency gall bladder surgery can still put you back to work in
two to three days, yes, that could be bad. All your employer needs to know
is that you're have to have surgery, and how long you'll be out. It's not
good to lie about it at all. It's illegal for a business to fire you if
you have to have surgery and be out, your boss can elect not to pay you for
any time you need that isn't covered by sick and vacation time, but they
cannot fire you. They can however fire you if they find out you lied to
them.
— Sherrie G.
September 9, 1999
I have told mt employer everything. They are very supportive. I had
considered not telling but with the drastic weight loss I was afraid they
might think I had something terrible. In reality it is something wonderful.
— David M.
September 9, 1999
It really is no ones business. I just told everyone I was having some
hernia's fixed. Which was true since those hernias helped pay for my
surgery. Some of my kids understood while my special needs daughter was
just told I was having the hernia's fixed. She was even at the hospital
with me. She lives in her own little world even though she is very high
functioning. My husband told his mother. I wasn't going to tell her
anything. She was giving me advice on losing weight when she just thought
I was losing because of the hernia operation. After my husband told her
about the wls her response was "can you make it stop?" See why I
did not tell her.
— Vicki Z.
September 10, 1999
Only if it is a lie and you did not have your gallbladder taken out. This
could come back and bite you if they need to take your gallbladder out
sometime after surgery. Just let your supervisor know the truth and
everyone else you can tell the you are having surgery and if they want to
know what kind you can always tell them its personal and they will come to
their own conclusions. Also if you don't want everyone to know make sure
you tell your supervisor this also. Good luck
— bperrin
September 16, 1999
That is what most people say. The GB excuse is usually the best because it
explains the incision and recovery time. By the way, if you are having VBG,
there is a support group in Houston that meets every first Sunday of the
month.
— Donna D.
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