Question:
Getting GBS in less than a week and My one buddy is tring to talk me out of doing it?
I always struggled with my weight and 5yrs ago I was able to loose almost 70lbs in a yr working out with him at the gym and dieting, I've since gained it all back and some . He has been calling me everyday and getting me more confused as Im already scared stright and very overwhelmed , I told him Im 44 and 300lbs and he's not in my shoes but he isnt listening.. I know its my life my decision and dont have to explain anything but for a few small minutes I almost had 2nd thoughts..he thinks I can loose the weight w/o the surgery.... Any thoughts on what I should say to him? — barry l. (posted on December 29, 2009)
December 29, 2009
You need to stay away from him until after your surgery. You have proven
to yourself that you cannot lose the weight and keep it off with regular
diet and exercise. This tool will help you lose the weight in combination
with "diet" and exercise. We all get cold feet right before the
surgery, but do not let someone else talk you out of it, someone who has no
clue what it is like. This is the right decision for you, the decision you
made, so please don't let someone else tell you otherwise. There are many
people here on the forums that were talked out of it, and then later when
on to try and have the surgery only to be denied. You are extremely lucky
that you are able to have this surgery, consider it a blessing and ignore
all nay-sayers until after your surgery. That is my advice!
— Jennifer F.
December 29, 2009
awwhhh!! he is jealous!!! Does he understand the other risk if you don't
get the surgery? I have recently been approved thru my insurance and go for
my consult with the doc on Jan 5.I am not letting anyone stand in my way!I
did mention it to one friend and she didn't like the idea I have seen her
twice since the discussion and it was not mentioned again.So I will let her
see for herself in a couple of months.A new me!
— davonjack
December 29, 2009
I had GBS on Oct 23rd,09, just over a year ago I was working on getting my
approval and had family members who talked me out of it. I can tell you
now that there is only one thing I am sad about and that is that I did not
get this done sooner! I have wasted so many years of my life with food as
my main focus. I have lost 35 lbs and feel so much differnt already. Good
luck, I wish you well! tj
— tjh
December 29, 2009
I would tell you that you need to make your decision and stick with it.
You say that he isn't listening to you. Then it is time that you stop
listening to him. You have to live with yourself and you should be doing
this surgery for one person - YOU! If he isn't listening he obviously
won't be a good support person. Sometimes we have to decide when it is
time to let others out of our lives so we can get people into our lives who
will support us. It is hard when we are obese because we are used to not
having a lot of self esteem and listening to everyone else. You do what
you need to do even if that includes backing away from a buddy who won't
support your decision.
Good luck!!
— Dawn A.
December 29, 2009
Your friend is jealous, sorry but I am correct on that asuumption. Stay a
way from him until your surgery. Being overweight is bad for you and you
need to do the surgery. It isn't a piece of cake, i assure you but I am
glad I did. I get a lot of &*9t from my sister too, I finally had to
tell her to shut up, she is jealous too.
GOOOOO for it Barry
— FSUMom
December 29, 2009
This is a typical sabatorf situation. they were feeling superior to you
when you were doing things their way so to speek and now that you have
stood up and said I have failed at the diet and now I am 44 and trying to
take control of my life they loose that co ntrol thus becoming a sabator.
So mone else here said thatyou should stay away from that person until you
have had the surgery but I feel that perhaps that person should becom part
of your past and you need to move on. They will only continut to sabatage
you after the surgery. You don't want to fall into their trap. They might
not even know that they are doing this. If they really understood your need
for this operation they would walk with you and not fight your choices. On
anothe thought.. Perhaps they need to be more informed about the type of
surgery that you are about to go through.THat bit of education might get
tthem to let up on hounding you. You are not alone in this. We all have one
or more un supporting person/s in our lives before and after the surgery.
You my friend have done what is best for you at this junction in your life.
Good for you for taking this step in going the rood of health. You will as
you know still need to watch what you eat after the surgery and to exercize
to keep it off but heck you are giving yourself a head start to burn off
the storage that you currently have and getting this surgery you will be
healthy from the start of it not have to wait until the middle of a diet
program to start to feel better. We are here to support you as you go
through this emotional time. We all go through it. My doctor said that
DIETS don't work comitment does. If you are commited to this you will
succeed. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
— OntarioSilk
December 29, 2009
Maybe you should tell him that you will be looking for a workout buddy
after the surgery and would love for him to be a "personal
trainer" for you. Tell him you appreciate the concern but you have
explored your options and right now need his support.
— ChristysJourney
December 29, 2009
I had two people who didn't want me to have surgery and tried to talk me
out of it. One I was able to "EDUCATE" and explain the process
and the reason WHY I was going to have surgery --- she came around. The
other -- was my sister and we no longer speak. She couldn't understand why
I wanted to do it. Thought my reasons why were not why I was
"really" doing it. She said she wouldn't talk to me again. She's
my sister and I miss her, but she is not living my life, nor does she walk
in my shoes (then or now). She's over weight, unemployed, unmotivated and
unbalanced --- so I know she's just jealous. So be it. I have plenty of
other people in my life that support me and love me for who I am ---
thinner or fat, round or flat, tall or short, THOSE are the people I want
in my life anyway. Good luck. I know it can be hard. It's your body. Your
choice.
— jammerz
December 30, 2009
Barry,
Your friend is telling you not to have the surgery because he is
codependent on you. If he is overweight too, then he is afraid of losing
his "overweight" fried, or his eating buddy or his gym buddy. He
isn't telling you no because he is scared for you. He is telling you no
because he is scared to be by himself during his struggle, if he is
overweight. If he isn't overweight "now" due to diet and
excercise, then just tell him it is your decision but you have to do what
is best for you. I don't know if you should shut him out of your life,
that could cause a trigger in overeating for both of you, and more weight
will be gained. Simply explore the surgeries, I have some info at this
website to explain the different surgeries and how they affect your life:
GO TO WWW.LAPSF.COM, ON THE LEFT SIDE BLUE BOX CLICK "WEIGHT LOSS AND
REVISIONAL
SURGERIES" THEN CLICK "INTRO-WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS", SCROLL
DOWN TO WHERE YOU SEE THE PICTURE
OF A STOMACH-CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE "SURGERY COMPARISON CHART".
PRINT THIS EMAIL SO YOU
CAN FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS.
I hope this helps. I think regardless of what others think, it is your
life and if you want to improve it, then do so. Best decision I have ever
made.
— Kristy
December 30, 2009
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who are misinformed about this
surgery and will try to turn you away from it. I actually had an older
doctor tell me that I shouldn't have it because my gastro problems would be
worse. That is so not true. Misinformed. I would definitely go for it and
have the surgery. It is a lifesaver and is one of the best decisions I have
ever made. The doctor that I see now is even thinking of having it done
because of my great progress.
Pray on it, and let God guide you, not man. He guided me with this. No
doubt!
Be blessed!
Maureen
— [Deactivated Member]
December 30, 2009
I agree with Jennifer's response. I had the VSG on December 9, 2009, I
have lost 22 inches and 11 pounds (the weight loss would have been more,
but I had a minor set back with a minor infection. You should go for it;
you will not be sorry and you will have better health and be a stronger,
better person.
— juanita_bright
December 30, 2009
You have made a decision concerning your health. That your friend disagrees
should be of no concern to you. There are always people who will disagree
with your decisions. I knew my family and a lot of friends would not be
happy with my decision so I told my husband and one friend. I am 3 weeks
post op and have told everyone that I am on a liquid diet and there have
been no questions.
You know what is right for you and you have made the decision. Do not talk
to your friend for the next week, you do not need the aggravation or the
anxiety.
Think only positive thoughts and keep yourself surrounded by positive
people and you will be fine. Best of luck with your surgery.
— Cynthia T.
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