Question:
How do others handle comments being at the minimun requirements for surgery?
— Lisa Eason (posted on June 1, 2007)
June 1, 2007
I'm not sure what you are asking - if you mean people making rude comments
that you don't look like you need surgery, etc. then I can respond. I was
218 the morning of surgery and when people reacted that way I would just
tell them thank you but for health reasons I do need the surgery. I was
usually pretty blatant about it so they would leave the subject alone.
— moore2cl
June 1, 2007
Yes that was my question. I started out at 211 with diabetes, sleep apnea,
incontience and a host of other issues. Thanks for the comments
— Lisa Eason
June 1, 2007
Being 5'8" and 286, I guess I looked pretty portionate. There were
many people who thought that I didn't need surgery. I told them for medical
reasons I needed to have it done, in addition, to being proactive with my
health and not reactive. I was heading some future issues off at the pass.
This way. I know I will be around to enjoy whatever life throws at me.
— jammerz
June 1, 2007
I had lap-band and didn't tell much people. (for that reason) The ones I
did tell I would just say for health reasons and I would tell that I did
qualified. I was 5'5 205
— new0130
June 1, 2007
Just tell them that unless they are willing to walk a mile in your shoes
that they are not allowed to judge you. Its realy none of their buisness
anyways, its your choice and YOU are the one that has to live with it
either way.
— lizzieleprechaun
June 1, 2007
I had a few comments (5'4", 233lbs). I just let them know that both my
doctor and my insurance company believed that I needed it.
— packrat
June 1, 2007
Hi Lisa, thanks for asking your question. People can be very cruel, and
very nosy. You need an inner circle of people that you trust and will
speak the truth to you and encourage you. Outside of that circle of
encouragement and support you need to not let those comments over affect
you, either way. Sometimes people compliment you to pieces and it can
throw you off your eating plan and success, other times people can say
awful things and ignorant things because the "heard" stuff. One
dear friend of mine said that she heard that 50% of people die for wls. It
was an ignorant statement, well meaning, but ignorant. I told her that I
appreciated her comment but my research showed a much different rate, and
she knows my ability to research, so she understood that I took my time in
making this decision. She was scared for me, which was reasonible. Others
say it is an "easy" way out, and again they are ignorant.
Nothing easy has been about wls surgery for me, but it has been great, even
with the fight. You know when a baby is born they have to fight their way
down the birth canal (unless they have the c section:)). When they fight
their way down, all the fluid is squeezed from their lungs, and that
difficult passage actually prepares them for better breathing and health
after they are born. There is a purpose for vaginal birth (I know that
there are many that need a c section, I am just making an illustration
here). Wls is the same way. You get this great tool, and you will have to
fight and push and work hard, but the tool will work if you do. Surgery is
only the beginning of your weight loss journey. You get the honeymoon
period, that if you can keep up with your brain and mind games, keep with
protein and water and exercise, force yourself to go to support group(this
is so important), and stay above board, you can have a great start, but
after the honeymoon, it is work, and it will always be about diet and
exercise, not the tool you have. If you are ready for the changes, this
can be a very good thing for you. There is risk, and I am sure you have
assessed your risks for yourself. Keep your support close, and those who
are outside of your supporters (family, friends, and peers), then let them
have their say, and show them kindness, but don't let it affect you. Many
times it is fueled by ignorance, and sometimes jealousy. We want others to
succeed until they do, then, it can be an issue. Take care. Patricia P.
— Patricia P
June 2, 2007
I haven't had the "pleasure" of someone stating that I didn't
need the surgery other than AETNA!!!! At 5'3" and 320# I have been
denied twice! I have a cpap machine (apea 100 times in one hour!!!) I have
edema in all extremities, sever lower back pain and all my joints are
severely distressed, funkydoodle heartbeat! and many more comorbities but
all they do is say NO NO NONONONONONONO!!!! I have been eating like a
rototiller let loose! Cannot help that I am an emotional
eater/rollercoaster! OMG I had to hire an atty team in CA to help me save
my life! NICE huh? Now how do you feel about those insensitive
bafoons....send them over to me, I won't mind one bit! hahahaha
— LouAB
June 2, 2007
Hi Lisa
I had an appointment with my nephrologist this week and I informed him that
I was having WLS on 06-21-07 and he looked at me with a slight smile
checked my chart for my height and weight (5' 2" and 225 llbs) and
asked me who the surgeon was. I told him Dr Jeffrey Lord and his expression
changed just slightly and he made the comment that his (meaning Dr Lord)
patients were usually heavier than that. I didn't bother to respond. I'm
not even sure what I thought except who cares what you think and he said we
will scedule your next appointment further out. Like others, I have shared
this decision with my husband, son, my two best friends and my mother. Not
co-workers, siblings or management. One of my best friends is having the
same surgery and she refuses to share with her family becuz she knows they
will react negatively.
I can be abrupt when necessary to tell someone it is none of your business
and at times silence is golden and just as effective (as with the doctor)
as well. We do not owe any of these people an explanation.
Lisa it is your life and your decision. Only God himself is more informed
about your body. The decision is right for you...girl disregard the remarks
of ignorants and haters!
Based on your personality choose your weapon...but most of all do what you
must do to not allow the poison of player haters onto the Highway of Your
Journey!
Antonette
— O. Kufi
June 2, 2007
Lisa, I had the same issue I was 5'6 & 235 at surgery in Feb. of this
year and only a few family members supported me the others I said the same
thing it was for my health and it was my decision to do it. A few people I
was clise with I said "if you saw me naked you would know why"
(that usually shut them up) I was very good at covering my weight up with
clothing. This surgery is done for you not anyone else so as long as you
are positive you are making the right decision than you are fine.
Good Luck,
Lisa S.
— Lisa Sparks
June 2, 2007
I concentrated a lot of energy to lose weight before my surgery. I felt
soooo sick prior to beginning the process & wanted to have the best
surgical outcome that I could. So I followed a healthier lifestyle before I
even was approved for surgery. I knew that i would be,it was just a matter
of time. I ended up losing weight & joined an exercise club...and felt
so good about me. I know my powerlessness over food tho,and I knew that
without sugical intervention,I would be back up in no time...it is a very
important tool in my toolbox for a healthier me.... When a couple of
people said things to the effect---'all you need is to keep on doing what
you are doing...you don't need surgery', I offer to sit down with them
& share my 40 year history of food addiction & wt loss & gain
with them...They look blankly & mumble something. And never mention it
again. I agree it is no one else's business...and the concept of addiction
& food is hard for some people to swallow. Stay strong & true to
yourself...
— peacelovecat
June 2, 2007
Im so glad you posted this question because i to am going through the same
thing, even my counselor told me last week "that it didn't look like i
needed the surgery now that you have lost so much weight" I have been
doing the protein first rule when eating and cutting back on fast food and
cutting back on junk food and getting myself as ready as i can for this
surgery and yes i have lost about 25 lbs, but that does not in no way mean
i do not need this tool, i know in a heartbeat that i am able at this time
to binge eat at an emotional level, and if i do not get this tool i will
binge eat my life away, i am 5'7" and weigh 245lbs now, i wear cloths
that fit but are not form fitting so no one knows how big i really am but
my husband and God and if others only knew they would not even sugest such
rude ignorant statments, but they do and i guess i am quite about them most
of the time. I told my conselor that i still have all the health problems
and i have got to get this weight off as best as i can and Keeping it off
is the key here to better living.. but i was flored for her to even say
something to me like that..
Best of luck to you and i go next week to find out my date, maybe it will
be the same day as you.. that would be great to have someone with the same
anniversary date.. :) take care and email me to let me know how you're
doing please .
God bless you
Paula A [email protected] I have to change this in my profile i
haven't been able to do that yet.. so im leaving it here with you and
anyone else who would like to respond.
— japaad
June 4, 2007
Hi Lisa,
I am so glad you posted this question. I have not had surgery yet, but am
just beginning the journey toward trying to get approved. Some people who I
have confided in have had the same reaction toward me. I am 5'4" and
weigh between 230 and 235. I have high blood pressure and some other weight
releated health issues. I am praying that I will be approved for it. I am
glad to hear of others who have been able to get approved who are at the
minimum weight requirement. Some people don't understand that just because
you weigh less, that you need the surgery any less. I have friends who
weight well over 300, who do not have any other health problems at all.
People are just different. Good Luck with your new life!
Stephanie
— slynn33
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