Question:
How do I explain my upcoming surgery to my young children?
— NoleS (posted on October 16, 2007)
October 16, 2007
Hey Deb! This is a toughie because you don't want to worry them or affect
their own self-esteem. My son is 5 and since my surgery he is always
asking me if I think he is fat. He's not. Since my surgery he doesn't
want to eat hardly anything with sugar and he primarily will just drink
water. Granted, these are good things but I don't want my little guy
developing an eating disorder because of me! I never told him I was having
surgery to lose weight (my mother did that!). What I told him was that I
was having a surgery to make me feel better. The surgery would help my
back and knees not hurt so bad and that way I would feel like playing with
him more. I told him that for the first few weeks I wouldn't be able to
play a lot but I would be able to cuddle and read to him a lot. I told him
that one of the side effects of this surgery would be that I couldn't eat a
lot of unhealthy food and due to this I would also lose weight.
I hope this helps.
Neisha
— neisha =.
October 16, 2007
I have 5 boys under 7 and they've been in the room while I was watching Big
Medicine. I told them I was going to have surgery so I could lose weight
and be healthy so we could play more. My 4 year old looked at me and said
so you won't get so fat you have to wear a diaper and can't go anywhere. I
told him yes but he also now has a slight obsession with eating healthy.
So, just be careful how you word it and what you let others/TV tell them.
— Christy Sanchez
October 16, 2007
I have 3 young children age 10, 8, and 6. I told them I am having the
surgery to help me get healthy and more active. I answered all of their
questions, without scaring them with what the possible complications are.
I also expained that for a couple of weeks after the surgery, I would need
extra help around the house (and extra good behavior, so I don't have to
yell at them :) They are excited about being my helpers while I am
recovering. Although I am pre-op, my 10 YO had a brief period of extra
interest in eating healthy and exercising more. But he's still eating
well, so I think it's just his way of being supportive and sharing the
experience with me.
— KatFord
October 16, 2007
When I was having my surgery, my daughters were 4 and 5-- in pre-school and
kindergarten. As a stay-at-home Mr. Mom, I had taken them to a few
doctor's appointments, so they knew my surgeon. I explained that my
stomach was broken but that Dr. Crum was going to fix it so that I would
feel full when I ate and not always be so hungry. I didn't go into any
details about my needing to lose 300 pounds or the risks of the surgery.
In fact, it was only after I had lost over 200 pounds that my little one
told me that I was getting smaller (which is when I explained that that was
the good result from Dr. Crum fixing my stomach). She then relayed that
information to my older daughter who shrieked-- "Oh no! What if Daddy
keeps get smaller and he turns into a little boy and can't drive us to
school anymore."
— SteveColarossi
October 16, 2007
i don't have kids, but my niece and nephew are both 4yrs old and i just
told them that i was going to have my belly fixed so i could have little
bellies like them and so i would feel better and be able to run around and
play with them more. i am 2 weeks post-op and when they see me they want to
see my belly. when i show it to them they ask "did the doctor fix your
belly?" and i say "yep, but it will take a while for it to get
small like yall's." i hope this helps.... Holly
— RNlvnCARSON
October 16, 2007
These answers are all really cute.. My kids are 10yr old daughter and my
son is turning 9 on Sunday. I'm three days post op and Ive been telling
them that mommy needed this to help her lose weight because if people get
too big they get sick and now my legs hurt and feet hurt all the time and
that will get better. I also told my daughter that I would be feeling
better to take her to the mall now.. she got real smiley about that. just
be honest with them and see how they react. You as a parent know what
behavior is healthy or not for them. take care.
— Big-Dzz
October 16, 2007
Just a funny kid story.....When we were looking at old photos my 5 yr old
nephew made the following declaration: "Aunt Heather! You got new
skin!" I just love the way kids think lol
— tazthewiz23
October 16, 2007
I had my surgery 19 days before my daughter turned 4. I told her that I was
having surgery to help me not be so "hinky" (our term for fat).
She came and saw me every day and we took naps together and I let her see
my staples when ever she wanted to see them. Now I am almost 14 months out
and she doesn't eve realize that all her pudding and jell-o is now sugar
free. The only thing she knows is that I had surgery, I can't eat a lot of
food, momma is not "hinky" any more and I can now play chase with
her. Kids are very resilient and just be honest with them in terms they
understand! Happy Weight Loss!
— Lost4Ever
October 17, 2007
Hi Deb
Make sure you explain that the weight loss if for health reasons primarily.
Also explain how the weight will be lost (over time) A friend on her
first day home after surgery overheard her 8 year old son talking to his
older college aged sister. He said in a very compassionate tone "She
had the surgery, but it didn't work!" LOL They need to know it won't
be immediate. Good luck and welcome to the losing team.
— debramc
October 19, 2007
be extremly honest, and tell them you will be able to do what they want
now.
— Kimberly F.
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