Question:
why can't people understand it's my life not there's
I'm going to have a RNY just as soon as I get my date. I'm at goal weight. I'm sure that there is alot of you out there that has delt with this problem. I love compliments on how good I look since I lost 23lbs. I found out I was a boarder line dietetic two days before Christmas Eve. After New years I started to lose weight. I also started to follow the diet that my nut gave me, and take the vitamins ect. Now that people can see I have lost 23lbs, and I share with them about my plans on haveing my RNY they say. "Oh you don't need to do that". "Look you have lost 23 already you can do it on your own". I get a little upset at their reaction when I say 'I'm going to have the operation". the first thing said is "Well your going to gain it back any way so why do it". I don't plan to do all this just to come to where I started. People don't understand not all of us can do Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. I know I'm one of those people that would end up gaining weight. The old sayin been there done that. I just don't like having to explainb why and get funny faces about what I — treeeza (posted on May 5, 2009)
May 5, 2009
There are some people who are just busy-bodies and will always meddle,
there are others who say that out of concern for you and a lack of
understanding of the problems we face with losing weight. It is true that
any of us can gain the weight back which is why we must commit ourselves to
the lifestyle changes in both diet and exercise. My surgeon wanted to see
weight loss prior to surgery to help get me in the habit of exercise and
eating healthy pre-op and to make surgery technically easier. I lost 22
pounds pre-op. I got some of the same comments as to why go ahead with the
surgery. They can't understand that we still have to be careful with our
diet and exercise after surgery. The surgery is not a miracle cure but a
powerful tool. You are doing what you need to do to get your mind and body
on the path of long term success. Don't let other peoples comments (no
matter how well meaning) sabotage your thoughts on how to proceed with
surgery and after surgery planning. Kevin
— hapkidodoc
May 5, 2009
I actually had a co-worker tell me that I took the easy way out by having
Lap-Band. I've worked with her for 17 years. She's seen my struggles with
my weight, so I just don't get it. She's even a recovering bulimic. I
recently found out that she tried to get qualified for the surgery herself
but, because of her history, several doctors said "no way". The
rest of my co-workers say she's just jealous so she's trying to be mean.
She's actually started humming loudly while I was talking to her and trying
to explain that it's just a tool, and I still have to diet and exercise.
She's 60 yrs old and it was like talking to a child that had plugged their
ears and started screaming, but she definitely heard me when I said,
"You're just ignorant!", and walked away.
— soon2Bfine
May 5, 2009
Hey Theresa we have the first same name,and i get the same feedback from my
friends too. I'm doing this for myself and
nobody else and nobody else and I'm the one who has to live with myself
nobody has to carry my weight around but me,so I say to you, if you have
made up your mind to have the RNY then you do what you have to do,because I
have made up my mind and i plan on having the RNY if my ins. is approved,
Theresa Parker
— tmparker
May 5, 2009
Theresa,
People like us understand each other. The other people? Either they are
jealous of us because we're doing something positive, clueless- they are
out of touch with weight issues, they're mad that they can't try and
manipulate and control us because we're standing up for ourselves.
We're doing what is best for us. Amen
Keep up the good work.
— Kathleen W.
May 5, 2009
Congrats on YOUR choice! Everyone has an opinion...just like we all have a
#** hole! but it doesnt mean we have to show it. Let people talk and do as
you know to be right for YOU! Remember if they are talking about you they
are leaving someone else alone. Best of luck to you..enjoy your new ways of
life!
— tootsie52
May 5, 2009
I think some of what people say is the jealousy and the fear that when you
lose the weight you will not only look better than they do, but you will be
getting a lot of attention surrounding your success. Some people can't
deal with anything that is competitive and they think that someone else
will be better than them.
Just don't let they negative people dissuade you!
— Libby R.
May 6, 2009
This is why I did not tell people what I planned to do othr than family. I
still 9 months post surgery am reluctant to discuss it with people who have
not gone through the process. They have no idea how hard it is emotionally
to adjust with out dealing with sparing the feelings of others. I just say
I have been working with my doctor. It has been life changing and I know
you will be happy with the results.
— trible
May 6, 2009
My husband is the one giving me a hard time. He has never had a wht
problem. Ever!! He does not want me to have the surgery. He keeps saying if
I was just more disciplined, I can do it on my own. Ive been battling my
wht since I was 18 and I just keep getting bigger and bigger. Just ignore
your coworker, you have to do what is best for you.
— suzette N.
May 6, 2009
People who have not struggled just don't get it. And how long it could
take to get off 100 plus lbs.. This is a tool and should be used
correctly. By doing that you can be moresuccessful. I'm 5 days post op
and just walked 1/2 a block. I've had no problems. Listen to your doctors
and your heart. You will find support out here for what you want. Bless
you and good luck.
— Donna C.
May 6, 2009
First and foremost..congrats...you are about to change your life.. by
losing the 23 lbs, you have proven that you can do this.. The RNY is not an
easy way out, it's a tool, and with that tool will change your life.. I
have lost 160 lbs and it's been over 4.5 years since my surgery. I had
everyone being negative about the surgery, and I made it. The only ones
that had been negative thought of it as cheating..what the heck is that?
Anyway, my sister wouldn't even talk to me when I had it done.. she said I
was going to kill our Mother with worry, because I could die.. Well I would
have died either way, I was unhealthy, and unhappy. Today I am happy, free,
and never have regrets.. Your life will never be the same! Just always
remember the first year is your honeymoon...I lost almost all my weight in
the first year and you can gain back something if you aren't careful after
that... but I know you won't, cause you have the right idea..It's a TOOL,
and you know how to use it... As for the ppl in your life who say you can
do it on your own..tell them the surgery is another tool helping me, I will
keep it off! Smile... and walk away! Best of Luck, Hugs, Rae Smith
— Rae
May 6, 2009
Theresa -- first of all, congrats on the 23-pound weight loss and on making
the decision to change your life. Don't you just love it how the people
who were always harping at us, "Do you REALLY think you should be
eating that bag of cookies/box of donuts/bucket of fried chicken/insert
favourite food here)?" when we were enormous are the same Negative
Nellies who accuse us of "taking the easy way out" when we do
something about it? Before I had my surgery nine years ago, I heard it all
-- "My hairdresser's car mechanic's second wife's third cousin's
husband's niece by marriage had that surgery and she NEVER LOST AN OUNCE
... and then she died." Well, good for her, whoever she is -- I
figure I was going to die from being fat, so what was the difference? As
practically everyone who's crossed to the other side will tell you, if this
is the easy way out, I'd like to see the hard way. While I don't regret
this choice for a moment -- I lived to see my sons grow up, and that's more
than I figured I would do in pre-surgery in 2000 -- there have been times
along the way that haven't been a day at the all-you-can-eat dessert
buffet, if you know what I mean. The bottom line is, this is 100% a
personal choice, and whatever reasons you're doing it for are the right
ones because they're yours. I've always remembered what my surgeon told me
the first time I met him: If you took 100 randomly-selected morbidly obese
(not "OMG, I'm such a cow, I wear a size 10!") people and put
them on a supervised diet and exercise program, ALL of them would lose the
weight they needed to lose. HOWEVER (and this is the mother of all
howevers), within a year only THREE of the 100 would have maintained their
weight loss. The moral of this story -- diet and exercise has a NINETY
SEVEN PERCENT FAILURE RATE for the morbidly obese, so we can go to Jenny
Craig and Weight Watchers until the cows come home and all we'll be is
continuous repeat business. For example, I found it interesting that
Kirstie Alley has gained back not only the 75 pounds she lost a couple of
years ago on Jenny Craig, but also another 10 or 20. Sound familiar? In
other words, Theresa, just smile and walk away, as an earlier poster
suggested. Best of luck!
— Cheryl Denomy
May 6, 2009
Thank You so much for your answers. They are up lifting and I'm going to
keep on keepin on. Again Thank you when I get my date I will ley uoi know
Theresa L
— treeeza
May 7, 2009
Congrats on the current weight loss! I would not even worry about what
other people say. They are not living your life so they have no right to
judge. I have a friend who keeps telling me not to do it and I should just
do weight watchers. Well I've been on weight watchers off and on for 10
years and the most I've lost is 20 lbs. I will say before I looked into
the lap-band, I myself, thought it was the easy way out. After researching
it, I've realized it is harder than any diet you will ever go through. Now
when she makes comments my response to her is "Well I guess you better
be glad you're not me then!" She did weight watchers herself and lost
it and gained it all back and is back on it now and can't lose the weight.
Each person has to do what's right for them. And don't feel like you have
to explain it to anyone. If it's what you want to do then that's all that
should matter. Good luck!
— nerlinger
May 7, 2009
Like Nicole, I too have been on and off weight watchers but for 20 years
and NEVER lost more than 20 pounds. If I have one more thin person who only
had 10 to 20 pounds tell me that weight watchers works - well I won't do
anything but you guys know how I feel.
I'm sick of people telling me oh you're not THAT fat, you don't need to
lose THAT much weight - well they should be telling my knees, ankles and
and hips cause they're not getting the message - they say I AM that fat!.
Look, It's taken me 5 years to finally get this far. My surgery is in 13
days and one minute I'm excited, the next I'm scared out of my mind. But
I'm doing this for me - not my friends, not my boss and certainly not for
the people who have never had a problem who say just exercise more. Well,
I've done that too and after 18 months working with a personal trainer 4x a
week and only losing 30 pounds and several thousands of dollars - I need
some additional help. Will I go back to the trainer - you bet! I eventually
want to become one. So I say koodos to everyone - it's not an easy out and
it's our choice. So either support us or get our of our way. We're on a
mission to save our lives - we're finally doing this for us.
— harleygirlohio
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