Question:
Is anyone else having little support from family and friends?
It took a while, but i finally have my husband on board. Everyone else has been really against it. I hear a lot of people say why dont i just go on a diet and lose it the healthy way. It makes me feel like a loser. — tinajp (posted on March 30, 2010)
March 30, 2010
Good for you Tina...as long as your DR thinks its healthy..who are the
other people to say its not. I can not say enough times..that we hire a
DR & NUT to help us..and then others try to undermind us..if you listen
to all the negative people you wont loose weight correctly. Please listen
to your DR. isnt that why you pay them? See YOU on the losers bench! Best
of luck
— tootsie52
March 30, 2010
I know how you feel. My family is awesome but on this they want no part of
it. Why don't you go on a diet? You're not the heavy...I hear these every
day. I am nervous but I am sure I will do great and so will you!!!
— araynard29
March 30, 2010
I know I am going to get slack from the room by saying this, but I am
really sorry I told people I had the surgery. People are mean and jealous
and say awful things. My boys can't understand why I had the surgery, my
sister gives me grief all the freaking time, it gets to a point that I do
not want to be with her. People I do not know talk out of their *(&^
too, especially the ones that need to lose weight.
I am going to see a therapist, I am so afraid of gaining weight and
failing.
— FSUMom
March 30, 2010
only thing I can say is if there is no one there who is on your side about
this WLS, you can always depend on your online friends here who will be
here for you and know what you are going through. We "losers"
need to stick together. Good luck.
— SPIRIT2002
March 30, 2010
Tina, sorry to hear folks have been less than helpful. I believe it's due
to not understanding the risks we face as morbidly obese people. Even if
you're "healthy" now... your joints will go early, you'll
probably get diabetes if you don't have it already, high blood pressure,
etc. My surgeon gave me two statistics that really helped me... he said I
was more likely to suffer complications and die early from untreated
obesity than from surgery. He also cited a national statistic (sorry don't
remember where from) that said morbidly obese people who lose weight with
diet and exercise alone are on average only 5% likely to keep it off in the
long term. 5%!!! He said the stat for post-op folks is more like 85%. That
one really opened my eyes and the eyes of people I talk to. But I totally
respect if you don't want to argue with folks... of course, you know your
body best and make your own best decisions for your health. Yes, WLS is a
drastic step to take... but living as a morbidly obese person (hate that
term) is also a very serious health issue, not only physically but mentally
and emotionally as well. All valuable parts of you! Find support where you
can... I'm realizing my friends may very well change as I seek support for
my new life where I can find it.
— Greg K.
March 30, 2010
I hope that there is a local weight loss surgery support group that you can
go to. People there will be supportive. It is also inspiring to hear
success stories and see how well others have done. Take your husband with
you to the group. If there isn't a group, start one. Obesityhelp.com has
training to become a support group leader. My oldest daughter was
convinced that I was going to die. She acted as if I was being cruel to
her in having the surgery. It is hard enough to be afraid about having
surgery without people you love making it worse. Best of luck to you.
Please feel free to friend me on here. This website is very supportive
also. Most people do not understand morbid obsesity. I wish that it was as
esy as just going on a diet and excercising. We have done that many times
and failed. This is our solution for better health. The only part of you
that is a loser is the part that is going to lose weight. You just have to
be brave and do what is best for yourself.
— MargaretHM
March 31, 2010
FIRST OF ALL TINA IF YOUR SPOUSE IS ON BOARD THAN YOU HAVE YOUR MOST
IMPORTANT SUPPORT . DON'T LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT THEIR
TALKING ABOUT . IN MY LIFE TIME I'VE LOST OVER 700 LBS. AND PUT IT ALL BACK
ON PLUS MORE . THATS WHAT DIETS DID FOR ME . I HAD RNY 1 YEAR AGO AND IT'S
SAVED MY LIFE . DO THIS FOR YOURSELF BECAUSE YOUR THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON
IN THIS WHOLE PROCESS . AFTER TIME WHEN THEY SEE THE CHANGE IN YOU THEY'LL
REALIZE YOU DID WHAT WAS BEST FOR YOU . GOOD LUCK
— ROGER COTE
March 31, 2010
I really appreciate everyones responses. It really helps me to hear that
others are facing the same issues. I get my surgery this monday April 5th
and I am both excited and nervous.
Thanks again and wish me luck!
— tinajp
March 31, 2010
Tina, I too have had mixed support from family and friends...same concerns
and comments yours have made. I now have several friends on OH and it has
really helped me. My surg is scheduled for 5/4 and I was having a lot of
"wait anxiety". It is now very managable and I have learned so
much from my friends, both those waiting for surg, and those who have
already been through. I suggest you "friend" folks...those who
answered your post and others, I've never had anyone refuse. I would be
glad to be your friend too, just click on my name and select select
"Ask to be a friend". Good luck. WE CAN DO IT, and it's easier
with support.
— Jane W.
March 31, 2010
To direct the symphony, you must turn your back to the crowd. They have
never erected a statue to a critic. Go against the grain. You will be happy
you did!
— medic3992
March 31, 2010
my husband hasbeen on board and a great support fromt he beginning, but my
mom on the other hand will havea heart attack when she finds out i'm
planning to have surgery. so hopefully it happens soon while she's out of
town. i kmnow i soune like a little kid sneaking around but i need to avoid
her on thi situation. But i really liked David's comment about the
symphony. and when it all boils down to it you gotta do what is best for
you the way you know how to do it. So best wishes
— tyese77
March 31, 2010
When I had my revision in 2000 I had a lot of non-supportive people,
especially since I hadn't gained ALL my weight back after my VBG had a
mechanical failure. I heard all the things you mentioned. What I found
though is it stemmed from either fear for my safety OR misinformation about
WLS. I tried to reassure and educate those that I could but made it clear I
was having surgery no matter what. I found that after I
"survived" the surgery and the weight was coming off a lot of the
negative people became cheerleaders! They saw me getting my life back and a
couple were even motivated to have the surgery then! For those who are
adamant about not wanting you to have it I suggest you thank them for their
concern, tell them your mind is made up and then focus on your new life! If
they truly care they will be happy once you make it through and if they
stay negative then stay away from them. Good luck!
— Kellye C.
April 1, 2010
I hear ya!Same story here."YOU HAVE LOST WEIGHT BEFORE>>DO IT
AGAIN".Its such a hard road to take when eveyones got a negeative
opinion.!I had the lap band done about 5 weeks ago.Its a very slow weight
loss process..so,Im hearing how I screwed up..and should try this new
diet.!Im like,leave me alone already!I know how you feel about feeling like
a looser!You get that surgery..and soon you will be a looser!Ive lost 20
pounds so far..Good luck to you,
— rosesrbl
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