Question:
What have you told your children about your wls?
I have youngish children - a boy 9 and a girl 5. I am at a loss as to what to tell them about my surgery, which is this Friday. So far I have only told them that I'm having trouble with my tummy and this surgery will make it better. They are both outgoing and very verbal, so whatever I tell them will probably be announced at recess! Any suggestions? Thanks. — [Deactivated Member] (posted on September 6, 1999)
September 6, 1999
Ann--I was planning to post the same question this week if I didn't read
anything about it soon. I also have young children (8 & 6) and severe
arthritis. I have so far told my girls just that I am having surgery (and
to please not tell everyone) to help me with leg my leg pain. I am trying
not to focus on my weight as I hope they will not grow up focused on
theirs. My oldest asked me yesterday if I would look different after
surgery. She caught me off guard but I just told her that right after I
would not but that I would look different later on as I hope to be able to
exercise after my leg pain is better. I have not decided whether to say
much more or not and look forward to reading other answers on this. Good
luck on your surgery. Mine is in just over 2 weeks.
Diane
— Dot W.
September 6, 1999
Yes they will announce it at recess, and mine are 12 and 13.
But when their friends start to notice and tell them that how
great their mom looks, and how she isn't fat anymore, you
won't care anymore than they do.
— dboat
September 6, 1999
Take them with you to the doctor your last visit before surgery, be honest
with them, you don't need to go into graphic detail about the surgery, but
explain basically what the results will be. I think you'll be surprised.
Best of Luck and Best wishes on your surgery, my thoughts and prayers will
be with you.
— Sherrie G.
September 7, 1999
I also have young children Ann, 6,3 and 11 months. I am having surgery in
2 weeks and am explaining to the 6 and 3 year olds that Mommy needs to lose
weight so I can play with them more, run around, have more energy to do
things with them,etc.. and that I am going to the hospital so the doctor
can fix my tummy so I'll be able to lose weight easier. It's a simple
explanation they can understand and it's the truth! Good luck to you!
— Cheryl W.
September 7, 1999
I had surgery last Tuesday, the 31st, and left my little girl who is 3.5 at
home with Grandma. She missed me imensely and I did not tell her why I
would be gone. When I got back home, I showed her my scar and explained
that she needed to get up lightly on Mama for awhile. She said, "Oh,
you had surgery?" I said yes. She then said, "Your'e gonna be
skinny?" I told my mother this and asked if maybe she told her about
the WLS. She said that she did not. It just shows how in tune children
are to us and know that something is happening. I would suggest being
totally honest with them and what is happening. Especially at the ages
that your children are. Good Luck and God's speed to a healthy and rapid
recovery. Remember to keep your positive attitude and to remember when you
are in pain that this is what you wanted to do. Love, Laura
— Laura L.
September 7, 1999
I told my son (7)that I am having this surgery so that I can feel better.
He has watched the video I recieved about the surgery and has been involved
in all of our family discussions. He is very curious about what this is
and a little nervous. He used to make me cry when he would say that I
wouldn't be his same mommy. Since we have been talking a lot about this he
can sense my thrill and enthusiasm (sp.) towards it. He is now very
excited that he will have a mom that can do what he does and enjoy what he
enjoys. My advise is to be very forward with your children. If they have
questions let them ask, and give them straight forward answers. I also
told my son that now wasn't the time to be telling people of my surgery. I
told him that when I am ready I will tell him that he can say something.
He is very nice about this. I understand the reluctance you have, my child
is very forward and outspoken also. You have to trust that they will do
the right thing.
Take care!
Heather
— [Anonymous]
September 7, 1999
Ann, it seems to me the easiest thing is to tell your children (and anyone
else) the absolute truth. After all, these kids have lived with you all
their lives; they presumably know you have a weight problem, if they're
bright as you say, they will certainly understand. They may even admire
your courage, as I do. Good luck---
Charlene
P.S. I'm postop, so I do know whereof I speak.
— charlene M.
September 7, 1999
tell them the truth, i have 3 children and they are all very
proud of me there is nothing to be ashamed of about wls
you are doing it for yourself so you will be healthy and be
around to see your children grow up. good luck and you wiill do great
— dee S.
October 8, 1999
My surgery is scheduled for Nov 1. I told my 3 adult children and my
teenage daughter that I am involved in a medical experiment and they want
to harvest some stomach cells to find a cure for asthma, but I won't know
for sure if they havest any cells or just having placebo surgery as part of
a double-blind test. (I'm involved in investigational drugs studies, and
even been injected with humanized genetic material from mice, so it sounds
plausible for me.)
— [Anonymous]
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