Question:
Should I tell my fellow RN/MD Co-worker's of my impending surgery?
I am an RN, and a supervisor of 35 nurses on my team. My company has over 100 employees, mostly nurses and some MD's. I feel umcomfortable telling them I am planning to have WLS (initial evaluation is done) even though I have worked with some over 5 years. Do I tell them I am having Laparsocopic Gallbladder surgery? I know they will ask me questions. I also want to be promoted and the Upper Management knows me and I am on special projects with them as well. Please advise what is the best way to handle this. — Sue D. (posted on August 4, 2001)
August 4, 2001
Sue, don't tell them you're having lap cholecystectomy. I work in medicine,
too (28 years) and was going to do this. Then my surgeon told me when they
do the lap RNY, they don't do the chole at the same time, unless you are
already having GB symptoms. 30% develop gallstones at about a year postop,
due to fast weight loss, but that means 70% don't, so he doesn't do it.
Plus he said if you have lap RNY it is just to hard to do the gallbladder
at the same time. Generally if they have to do the chole and the roux-en-y
both, they do it open.
I know that medical professionals can be among the MOST judgmental! They
think they know more, and will try to dissuade you from this. I told my
office manager that I would need to be off from this date to that date for
surgery. (in writing). She called me (I work at a different location) and
said, "I'm worried about you. What's this surgery about?" I
replied (and recommend you do this, too) "Don't worry; it isn't
cancer, a brain tumor or anything life-threatening. But I really don't want
to talk about it right now. I don't want to hear other people's surgery
horror stories, or have them tell me to try this or that other remedy. I
have confidence in my surgeon. Perhaps I will feel like talking about it
AFTER the surgery." There was a long pause. Then she said, "Okay.
If there's anything we can do, just let us know." Later another
co-worker wouldn't accept that as an answer and persisted, "Oh, come
on....you can tell ME! What are you having done?" Since she would not
accept the answer I'd already given, I paused for a moment, leaned in real
close, looked her right in the eyes and said quietly. "Well....okay.
I'm having a brain transplant...but don't tell anybody!" It took her
a minute to "get it" and she laughed and wasn't mad, but she
didn't pry any more. AFTER the surgery, when they notice you getting
smaller, THEN is a good time to say, "I had gastric bypass surgery and
it is the best thing I've ever done for myself. I just added about 20 years
to my life." By then, they can see for themselves how well it is
working for you and it is too damned late to try to scare you out of it or
tell you to do something else instead. Good luck!
— Lisa D.
August 4, 2001
I agree with previous poster--your co-workers don't need to know anything
about your surgery. I, too, am an RN (27 years) and am currently working as
a Med-Surg RN in a small, backwards psych hospital in NY. My co-workers are
extremely judgemental and closed-minded. I have told them that I'm having
surgery for ulcers and diverticulitis, both of which run in my family.
— dantevolta
August 4, 2001
Well, here is my 2cent opinion on this subject. I also have been an RN for
30plus years. At first I did not tell too many people because I was sure
they would be judgemental. A couple of the Doc's I work closely with
expressed concern . .wanted to make sure I had thought about this and was
having someone "really good" doing the procedure. I am now less
than 2 weeks preop and my immediate boss and most of my co-workers (i do
Case Management and go all over a 300plus employee hospital) are aware that
I am having this done and have been very supportive. Interestingly a lot
of the most recent people asking about "i heard you're having . . go
on to say . .I know someone else who has had this done and have done very
well" . .some have even called their friends and asked them if it
would be alright for them to give me their number in case I have some
questions (most are more than one year post.) It really has been an very
individual decision to talk about this or not . . but basically I have
decided that I am doing what is best for me and they can either rejoice in
my decision . . or crump to themselves.
Good luck in whatever you decide . . but like one of the other people said
. . it is hard being in Healthcare and coworkers not being extemely curious
about our healthcare choices.
— Nancy H.
August 5, 2001
Please don't feel you have to divulge your private life to anyone. I'm sure
not everyone you work with tells you all of their personal business. You
must stay within your comfort zone about this. I don't think you should
make up something like gallbladder surgery because it's just not a good
idea to mess with untruths. Where possible, don't say anything and where
necessary uou can say you're having some health issues that you're not able
to discuss at this time, and that is the truth. You can't get in touble
saying something like that. If anyone pushes you for more info just be
strong and prepared with a polite comeback like "it's not something
I'm prepared to talk about", etc. Possibly after your surgery and
after your co-workers begin to see your weight loss, you may feel
differently about telling them or just telling a few people. But wait and
see how you feel and follow your instincts. You don't owe anyone any
explanations about your private life or your private medical issues, and
please don't feel obligated to anyone but yourself. Best of luck with your
surgery.
— [Anonymous]
August 5, 2001
I'm not comfortable discussing my WLS at work. To get my leave approved, I
told them I was having major abdominal surgery. Of course, people asked
for details. I just smiled, very friendly, and said that I was trying to
keep it private. That stopped almost all of the questions. The remaining
questions, I just smile and change the subject gently. So far, it's
working. Remember, if you don't want to share this information, you don't
have to tell them anything! I don't want to put up with any negativity, so
I'm keeping this totally outside of my work (at least at this point).
Maybe I will change my mind later on, but maybe I won't. And you can never
"untell" anyone, so be very careful not to even mention the WLS
to ANYONE at work, unless you want EVERYONE to know.
— Kathy J.
August 6, 2001
I'm a Health Informati0n Specialst and a certified coder at
a large teaching hospital. Initially, I chose not to tell the
people at work what kind of surgery I was having. I said it was
"gastrointestinal surgery". I didn't feel it was anyone's
business
and even medical professionals have misconceptions about wls.
I did tell people 2 months after I returned to work. I wanted to
alleviate the fears of friends/co-workers who thought I was seriously ill
because
I was losing so much weight so quickly.
— [Anonymous]
August 6, 2001
YOU HAVE CHOSE TO DO WHAT YOU DID TO BENEFIT YOU. HONESTLY IT IS NO ONE
BUSINESS WHAT TYPE OF SURGERY YOU HAD BUT IF IT WAS REALLY IMPORTANT FOR
YOU TO TELL THEM FINE. NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO IN LIFE SOMEONE IS ALWAYS
GOING TO FIND SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT. WHEATHER GOOD OR BAD!!!
— [Anonymous]
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