Question:
What to tell people at work re: time off/after surgery?
Hi everyone, I work for an employer who is "self-insured." I worked very hard to get my precertification for lap. rny before the company's policy adopted and exclusion. My co-workers here in the office watch other people's health care appointments like hawks. They make comments like, "her doctor visit is coming out of our raises and year-end bonuses." I have no doubt they will feel the same way about surgery. I just don't want to tell them what procedure I've had, why I've had it, and so forth. Any suggestions? — Holly W. (posted on September 25, 2003)
September 25, 2003
Hello. I would tell them you were having gall bladder surgery. I think the
time off for lap rny and gall bladder surgery is about the same. It reallys
is none of their business but I know how people are. You could always say
it's personal and you don't want to talk about it.
— AmyWollet
September 25, 2003
Wow it sounds like you work with some really gossipy people. I feel for
you! I tried telling someone I was having stomach surgery and she guessed
WLS right away. So now I'm going to tell my boss that it's personal and I
don't wish to tell her. The good thing is with the new HIPAA laws, medical
information is strictly confidential and the notes no longer need to
indicate the reason, just that you are having surgery
period-dot-end-of-story! You could always use the standard - female
surgery. Good luck!
— Laura M.
September 25, 2003
What a shame. You are doing this for your health and it is not fair that
they judge their raises by what you have done medically. I would not tell
them except to say you are going out for surgery and do not wish to discuss
it, it's personal. Then walk away from the subject. It is no ones'
business UNLESS you want to tell them. Wishing you the best. So many do
not realize in the long run the cost of this surgery is far less than the
cost of medical care, doctor appts, medications etc for the person who is
obese and has health problems.
— [Deactivated Member]
September 25, 2003
if that is how they react when people are getting medical attention...i
wouldn't say a thing. if they are really like that don't think that they
are going to change their attitude just because YOU are getting healthy. if
they ask tell them it's private. case closed
— franbvan
September 25, 2003
I'd be even vaguer, and just call it abdominal surgery. That's accurate,
it leaves open many possibilities (including "female" surgery,
which most people are still afraid to talk about, lol!), and your greedy
co-workers will have very little ammunition to work with if they don't know
more than that (personally, I wouldn't even say gall bladder unless you're
also having that out, since they really do NOT need to know what it is in
the abdomen that's getting operated on, plus, you don't want to get busted
out in a lie someday). They might figure it out eventually when they see
you lose weight, but I do know of people who have chosen never to disclose
their surgery to co-workers (who eventually aren't going to care enough to
keep on speculating anyway). In your situation, it sounds like the safest
course for you is to refuse (nicely and firmly) to discuss the details with
them at any time (bonus: that way, you'll never lie, either). Hang in
there!
— Suzy C.
September 25, 2003
I have seen your question many times and have always responded like this:
These people are only your co-workers NOT your family - If you quit working
there tomorrow you would probably NEVER see any of them again! You are
doing this for you and even if they guess or you tell them why you are
having surgery and they gossip about it - WHO CARES!!!!!! IT IS YOUR LIFE
THAT IS GOING TO BE HAPPIER AND HEALTHIER AND YOU DON'T NEED THEM TO BE
HAPPY!!!!
— gina L.
September 25, 2003
I agree that saying you are having gall bladder surgery is not a good
choice. I had it about 6 weeks ago and was off work for four days. I'm
guessing you'll need more than that for wls! All you have to say is that
you have to have surgery. I wouldn't say a word more than that. I have
worked in a health-hostile environment before, and the less info you share
the better off you will be. Good luck! hugs,
Ann RNY 9/10/99 260/124
— [Deactivated Member]
September 25, 2003
— D L.
September 25, 2003
Legally you don't have to tell anyone anything. The only people that have
to know are your personnel and/or employee health people and all are bound
to confidentiality rules/regs. I work for an organization that is very
"cozy" and veryone seems to know everything about everyone. They
will not be privy to this decision for a multitude of reasons and I have no
intention of sharing or any guilt over it. Do what you feel is BEST FOR
YOU. They'll get over it and move on to someone else should they question
you or make comments. Good Luck!
— Deborah F.
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