Question:
This is my personal/private decision. So how do I explain this to employer?
For those who have told your story to everyone including the mailman, I respect your decision so please do not rake me over the coals for asking that old question "What do I say to my employer & co-workers?" I am sharing my decision to have this surgery with loved ones only. Perhaps down the road, post-op, I'll feel differently, but for now battling with the medical group is draining enough from me. My problem is that I am a civil service employee & my employer pays disability but the form to be filled out by the doctor/surgeon asks specifically for "Diagnosis" & "Surgical Procedure". My gallbladder is already gone. Any advice is surely appreciated. Thank you. — mary V. (posted on June 19, 2002)
June 18, 2002
To me this surgery is very private, I have only told my daughter and my mom
and dad (husband of course knows). I was diagnosed about 6 months ago with
an ulcer, and hiatel hernia. The type of surgery to repair an ulcer is
almost the same as an rny....(which I am having). That was my excuse to my
employer. This is a very private thing to me, they did not need to know
all the details. Good luck on your surgery, mind is Aug 8, 2002. So this
is from one Mary to another Mary.......Blessed be to you....(smile).
E-mail me if you like, I'll be more than happy to stay in touch.
— penciepaws
June 18, 2002
One person in the HR department where I work knows what type of surgery I
had. Like you said, it was needed for disability payment. However, It was
stressed that it was to be kept private. My boss (who is a VP in the
company) doesn't even know what type of surgery I had. All I told him and
my co-workers is that I was having abdominal surgery. You are not required
to tell anyone anything. If they push for specifics, just tell them you
would rather not discuss it.
— Sandra C.
June 18, 2002
I also had my Dr. complete the disability forms and he merely listed
abdominal surgery. This is sufficient for the insurance company. They have
the right to contact your physician for additional information. No
individual from your work place should do this and needs to know. I did not
share the information with anyone at the office; only family and a few good
girlfriends. My surgery is 6/28. Best of luck on your journey!
— Sandy P.
June 19, 2002
I understand your problem too well, but there is good news. Your
employer/human resources has an obligation to keep those thing private.
Under law, they cannot reveal confidential things like that! Good luck!
— Kendra A.
June 19, 2002
I felt exactly the same way. the only people that know I had the surgery
now are my husband, my parents, my brother and 2 very close friends. I
feel this is a very personal decision and I did not want everyone to know.
My husband took off a week of work after my surgery and he had to have the
surgeon fill out paperwork. I was mortified when we received it back, it
listed all my complications and I was so embarressed but I remembered that
they legally they could not say anything and it would be kept confidential.
to this date 11 weeks out everyone at his work just thinks I had my
gallbladdar out. Good luck and you can keep this quiet if you want I am
living proof. This weekend we are going to see my husbands family the 1st
time since surgery and they think I had gallbladdar surgery. I am down
50lbs but I have told them I am on a diet and walk 3 miles a day so they
won't be so shocked. Good luck RK
— Robin B.
June 19, 2002
Thank you sooo much for the suggestions and also the boost of confidence,
From Mary.
— mary V.
November 7, 2002
I AM SURE THAT YOU HAVE HAD YOUR SURGERY NOW BUT I WOULD STILL LIKE TO
ASNWER THIS QUESTION. I TO WAS THE SAME WAY AS YOU. I WAS COMPLETLY
HONEST WITH MY MANAGER AND BOY WAS HE PISSED...NO NOT PISSED...OVERLY
CONCERNED AND WANTED ME TO CHANGE MY MIND...SAYING I DIDNT TRY HARD ENGOUH
AND HE WANTED ME TO TRY THE ATKINS DIET (HAHA LIKE I DIDNT ALREADY TRY
BUDDY!) I CRIED A LITTLE AND I FINALLY RELIZED THERE WAS NOTHING HE COULD
DO AND I SUCKED IT UP AND TOLD HIM I NEEDED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH
MY DAYS OFF. HE PUT MY OFF B TELLING ME TO COME BACK LATER AND WHEN I DID,
HE DID IT ALL OVER TO ME. I FINALLY DEMANDED AN ANSWER AND HE PAID ME FOR
ALL MY DAYS OFF ("KNOWING IM AN IMPORTANT ASSIT TO HIS COMPANY").
I DIDNT MIND TELLING PEOPLE AFTER A WHILE. I JUST FIGURE TO HELL WITH
EVERYONE...FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I AM GOING TO BE SELFISH AND IM GONNA TELL
PEOPLE. PEOPLE WILL HAVE THEIR OPIONS AND FRANKLY ITS NEVER GONNA CHANGE
MY DECISION! HOPE THIS HELPS YOU AND ANY OTHERS THAT HAVE THIS PROBLEM!
GOOD LUCK TO ALL!
— sandrac131
August 15, 2004
i would check and see what HIPPA says you have to disclose to your
employer.
— Regina T.
August 16, 2004
I didn't tell my employer details about my Open RNY or my recent Tummy
tuck. It is against HIPPA laws for them to ask specific details. My
sister In law works in Human Resources, and told me.
The women at HR asked me twice this time, if it was the same problem as
before. I changed the subject and finally said, I should be fine, my last
surgery went well. On the forms I filled out for employer it asks
"what is the reason for Leave.(Do NOT put specific medical
Condition)", so I didn't, I just wrote surgery date and date of
return.
You can always say female problems or hernia repair to co-workers.
— Allison M.
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