Question:
how to deal with changes in husbands attitude
for years my sweet husband hasnt said anything about my weight but it definatly affected our personal life.He's never had a weight problem has a nice build. My weight is 30 pounds less now then when we got married and he has this fantasy now that I would look great in sexy skimpy underwear.He even wants to take pictures ! Yikes! I dont look good at all, he hasnt really seen the bad loose skin on my upper thighs, arms and stomach,and please dont say he would love me anyway, yes he would, but I know he doesnt really realize yet how bad this skin looks, Ive kept the lights low and wear nice filmy night wear.It's scary to me to have him face what this body actualy looks like, anyone else go through this with their mate and how did you handle it? How did THEY handle it? — Shelley M. (posted on March 27, 2004)
March 27, 2004
sweetie, I hate to tell you, but I used to think just like you, that I was
good at hiding all the little flaws with dim lights, protective clothing
etc. My hubby informed me one day that he may not be blind but he could
definitely SEE with his hands. He knew (knows) every wrinkle and bump on
this old body of mine and it still excites him. Sick puppy, that he is
lol. Talk to your man. Tell him your fears and let go of your
inhibitions. I had a guy tell me once that nothing is more sexy than a
woman who is excited and uninhibited...regardless of her appearance. Good
luck!
— [Deactivated Member]
March 27, 2004
Shellie...I agree with Tooter Toot...She is correct about a man knowing his
mates body. My hubby has voiced the same to me as yours has voiced to me.
But to make things more open...I told my husband how I feel about all of
the sagging skin on the thighs, arms, stomach. I told him it really grosses
me out!!! But I still dress sexy for him because I know he LOVES ME for who
I am and not for what my body looks like. I am the one who has the problem
with the sagging skin and not him. I haven't looked into plastic surgery
yet, but plan to one of these days.
— Deb S.
March 28, 2004
you are dealing with a mans mind his fantacy is you humer him he likes you
he is not running around on you be glad read dr. laurs book on the care and
feeding of husbands let go and have fun good luck ted
— ted M.
March 28, 2004
Shelley, it sounds to me that it bothers you more than him. You aren't
hiding anything from your husband, as a previous poster has mentioned.
It's like wearing black in a size 5X, no one really thinks there is a size
5 under it.<br>Run around the house naked, I do. I don't really care
what anyone thinks. :)
— RebeccaP
March 28, 2004
I suggest everybody read this month's Marie Claire magazine. In it is an
article about 2 posters that were publicly displayed. On the posters - a
picture of a size 14 woman. The difference was 1 said I think I am fat -
do you? the other said I think I am sexy - do you. guess what ! when people
viewed the "fat one they agreed, and when they viewed the 'sexy"
one" they agreed. It was all about attitude. The confident "I am
sexy" statement made her sexy. The Photos were the exact same picture.
Moral of the story - your attitude is eveything. put on the lingerie, hold
your head high and say I am a hot & tempting very sexy woman, and he
WILL agree.
— **willow**
March 30, 2004
I can not thank god enough for sending me a husband who is understanding
and open to my crazy rational. We got fat togather and now are loosing
weight together, but you know those men, they are different. all of his
skin is tightening up and he looks great. I on the other hand I have rolls
and folds and winkles every where. I know I am healthier now, (down 160
lbs) but there are still just times when I still feel soooo unattractive
and fat. Thankfully my husband is my support person and I can express my
feelings to him about my opinion of my self. Try to talk to your husband,
he might surprise you? But I know how you feel. I leave the lights OFF
every chance I get. Good luck! Write if you need to. jodie
— Jodie S.
March 30, 2004
My husband has been terrific, too. He doesn't love when I show him where
the skin is that grosses me out, but it does not interfere with our
relations at all. He never was a lingerie lover, even when we were first
together, at approximately the same weight I am now at. I buy what I like,
and am not one who loves the skimpy stuff. Who knows, this may change
after my TT. Oh, he even went to my PS consult and did watch the
"before" pictures being taken. What a guy!!
— Fixnmyself
March 31, 2004
My husband has been good about the changes and has noticed the wrinkles.
Which would be hard to miss since I was a 46DDD to a 36 small C. I have
started calling my boobs...puddles. But, I think we break our bodies apart
and look at each area, but they look at us like a total sexual package.
Have fun with him, because I promise you even when you were heavy he did
not see the pounds...he sees your presence. My husband is always telling
me that now everyone is seeing the Dawn he has seen for years. Have fun
with the pictures! : ) Dawn
— Dawn B.
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