Question:
What do I tell my boss?
What do I tell my boss? I am a nurse where I will be having my surgery. I don't want to lie to her, but I don't think she will be supportive (she has her own weight issues). I can't exactly make up a different surgery, and as nurses we are naturally nosey about everyone's health. Even if I do make something up, I know she would look up my record in the computer, Ive seen her do it with others. I am afraid if I tell her the truth she may deny my use of sick time for what she may see as an elective surgery and I dont have enough vacation time to cover post-op recovery. — Michelle F. (posted on September 2, 2001)
September 2, 2001
Michelle, honesty is the best policy.
If she has a weight issue, she should understand your dilema.
Be up front, don't let fear take over and make mistakes.
If she has access to your records, you will be caught in a lie and then
face the consequences,,tell the truth.
— [Anonymous]
September 2, 2001
Michelle, can you take this to your humane resource dept. to over ride her
decision?
— Sherry P.
September 2, 2001
Michelle, I would tell her it's personal, and you don't wish to discuss it.
Yes, you know she will look you up on the computer to see what's up (a
terrible and probably illegal misuse of her authority), but if she
"talks to you" about it, then it exposes her detective work. If
your doctor has said this surgery is medically necessary that is all that
matters. Yes, it is ELECTIVE, as in non-emergency surgery, but it is not
cosmetic. She has no grounds to deny you sick leave. As a medical
professional, she should know better! Shame on her!
— BethVBG
September 2, 2001
I just checked with my daughter who knows about such things, and she said
to go to your Human Resources people first (with a letter from your doctor)
and they will notify your supervisor. She said you are entitled BY LAW to
leave under the FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) -- up to twelve weeks per
year, and your employer has to return you to your job or its equivalent.
This twelve weeks (without pay) is IN ADDITION to any sick leave you have
accrued. If you want to know more abut this go to www.DOL.gov and check
out FMLA. Hope this helps you. Nina
— [Deactivated Member]
September 2, 2001
This is a private matter between you and your Dr. I work in a hospital
that would fire anyone that looks up someones confidential info on the
computor. Being it is elective, you should do it when vacations are over
and the coverage is better..then they have nothing to say about it. Also,
you can go under another name on the OR schedule. This boss does not need
to know about your private matters, but who knows..you might be her
incentive!
— [Anonymous]
September 2, 2001
I love this question! The first thing is that you need to be proud of your
decision to have wls. I talk about my pending wls all the time at work. I
am so lucky to have so much support (possibly too much?) and i never
expected it. You might be suprised. Other than immediate family, I feel if
you are not supported, then those non-supporters are either jealous or
uninformed. they do not have to agree with it, just support you. Support is
not the same as agreement. If your boss does not support you, then you can
give her your "fat" clothes after wls (lol) and gravitate to
those that will support you...like me... like us! Good luck.... i would
also just go straight to HR.
— krissy F.
September 2, 2001
I also work in the medical field and know how judgmental some in this field
can be. I told my boss, "I will need to be off from such-and-such date
to such-and-such date for surgery." "What kind of surgery?"
"I've decided not to discuss it until AFTER my surgery. I don't want
to hear all the surgery horror stories or have people tell me to try this
or the other alternative. I have great confidence in my doctor. If you
require a note from him indicating that I'm having a medically indicated
procedure, then I'll be happy to provide one. Perhaps after my surgery I
will feel more comfortable discussing it. I'm sure you understand."
(My co-workers said OF COURSE they understood, they've heart other people
tell tales of marathon labor to pregnant women, etc.) If you tell her
THAT, and don't tell any of your other co-workers, then if she looks up
your info in the computer, it will be an OBVIOUS violation of your patient
confidentiality and she will be in trouble if she opens her mouth about it
to YOU or to anyone else. So, that's how I'd handle it. She may find out,
but if she's smart, she'll keep quiet or will have to face questions about
her ethics violation. No nurse wants that. Good luck!
— Lisa D.
September 3, 2001
1st of all it is your choice to tell or not to tell- I am sooo
very happy I had WLS but I did not tell my boss not because I
was ashamed but I think that it was a private thing. BY LAW
she is not to ask you! Also, if you EVER see her looking up
things on the computer about others just to be "nosey" please,
please report her to the her supervisor! That is so wrong and
that to is AGAINST THE LAW! Tell who you want to and don't if
you don't want to- just be careful if you tell people and you
don't want your boss to know- I told a "friend" with issues and
she went and told my supervisor everything- now the supervisor
watches every thing I eat when we go out for lunch. I usually
only get iced tea now because of that. Best of luck in what
ever you chose to do, and best of luck with your surgery!
— [Anonymous]
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