Question:
Would or has anyone approached another morbidly obese person about WLS?
I have been wondering if I am just nosey or if I am normal. Ever since I have discovered the joy of WLS, I have wanted to walk up to people who I think would benefit from surgery. I have wanted to tout all the positive things WLS could do for them, and suggest they look into it. Today, I found myself staring at a lady who was clearly having problems that were related to her obesity. I was contemplating walking up to her and telling her my story. My son pulled me out of my reverie when he said, "Mommy, quit staring, it's not nice..." Boy, was I embarassed! Anyway, she isn't the first person I have wanted to tell what this surgery has done for me. Mind you, I haven't actually gone up to anyone. I haven't gained the courage to do that. I was just wondering if anyone has felt the same way or if they have actually approached someone. If you have, what happened? How did the person respond to you? Thanks for all your input... — Marni (posted on April 6, 2000)
April 6, 2000
I would strongly recommend NOT going up to strangers and advising them of
WLS. Had anyone ever done that to me I would have been completely
mortified, embarressed and, quite frankly, pissed off. So, telling friends
or people who ask is one thing, but going up to total strangers is an
insult. Please, put yourself in their place and allow them some dignity.
— Amber P.
April 6, 2000
I would not approach someone out of the blue. Getting to the point of
having the surgery for most of us was a life process. I am having it done
May 10 because I am ready. At another point in my life I would not have
been ready and in fact would have resented someone coming up to me to
discuss it. Most obese people have been resentful towards many things in
their lives - society, family, the opposite sex, etc. But having said that
I understand COMPELETELY what you are thinking. Since the start of my
"transformation" I have also passed many obese people and have
thought, gee, wouldn't that person benefit from WLS? I guess the best
thing I can do is do as well as I can with this tool, and when people take
notice, use it as an opportunity to promote this life saving surgery to
others.
— Paula G.
April 7, 2000
Marnie, I feel exactly the same as you do in that area, of course I too
have never approached anyone about it nor do I think I would. I agree with
others here about the reactions that people may have if I was to do that. I
also know that if someone had approached me in that way, I would've been
embarrassed and ashamed of myself, not that I wasn't already, hurt, maybe
even pissed, but on the other hand I seriously wish somebody had, because
what little I knew of wls was nothing that they offer now, I only heard the
horror stories of stapling and balloons in the stomach. Of all the doctors
I've ever seen (until my most recent pcp)none of them ever suggested the
wls approach to help me loose weight, but they were quick to tell me how
fat and unhealthy I was and that my life would be cut short because of my
obesity. Even my pcp, who did bring up the idea of wls to me, knew very
little about it herself, told me to research and find out all I could on
it, and if this was what I wanted, she would (and did) find me a surgeon,
do the referals, and did everything she could to help me. So I know there
are people out there who just don't know that wls may be an option for them
and I would love to find a way to approach them or somehow get this info to
them just so they'll know and hopefully have a chance to make their lives
better and healthier as I have. Thanx for listening, take care Debi :)
post-op 9/21/99 down -138lbs. I finally made it under 300lbs. as of 4/6/00
I am 298lbs.
— Debi K.
April 7, 2000
Yes, I have and it did not go over well. So, I dont say anything any more.
The surgery is not for everyone. Also, not everyone is open minded about
the surgery as we are. We do have good intentions but some people just
dont understand, asking to be cut on does not make sence to some people.
Good luck
— Lee Ann B.
April 8, 2000
If the circumstance were right, I would definitely consider approaching
someone who is morbidly obese to let them know about my experience. I've
thought about this a lot. It would only be appropriate if done in a kind
and gentle way. We all know that being obese is difficult and embarrassing
enough, so the demonstration of compassion during this interaction would be
vital. I know that when I was at my highest weight, whenever someone told
me about their successful weight loss I was always interested to know HOW
they did it, even though I was typically embarrassed about the
conversation. While I would have been surprised by a stranger approaching
me to tell me about their WLS, I would have been appreciated knowing about
this procedure a year ago (or two, or three!). Personally, I will
seriously consider approaching someone if the situation presents itself,
but not until I'm closer to my goal, and only with the understanding that
the person may be offended and I might have to back off right away. I
would be armed with my "before" pictures and information in case
they ask for it, and I would sincerely try to make the interaction as
simple and friendly as possible.
— Meg G.
July 13, 2000
I didn`t like it when people walked passed me and had lost weight and
thought I need their help from pills to powders it`s not something a person
wants to hear if they are eating with their family or walking in the mall
now if they were talking to someone about weight loss and you were within
ear shot of it then maybe but always remember they may not want surgery and
don`t push.
— Kimberly B.
July 14, 2000
I know that most everyone on this site is committed to the cause of WLS.
But we cannot let that committment become a "religious cause". We
cannot go out and recruit converts. I know that the temptation is there to
approach people that you think would benefit from WLS. I felt the same way
when I was loosing weight w/medifast. I wanted to "clue" people
in about how much it could change their lives. But with any "Weight
Loss Program", each person must be ready for it or it will not be
successful. If someone you didn't know, walked up to you & said that
they knew about something that could change your life. Would You take them
seriously? If you feel the need to "Spread the Word", get your
local newspaper to run a "Human Interest" story. Contact your
local TV stations & have them contact your local support group. Talk to
your Church Pastor and have him/her Mention your struggle in a Sunday
service. Then people that have questions can come to You and need not be
embarrassed by your desire to help. Warm Healing Skinny thoughts to all:)
— Barbara I.
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