Question:
What was your employer's reaction to your having WLS?
I'm an intelligent person who has rehearsed a thousand times how to tell the owner of my company about WLS. I have told my immediate supervisor and she is VERY supportive. I am also having my gall bladder out and my supervisor thinks I should only tell our company owner about my gall bladder. He's a good man and I think he'd understand but then I've heard some horror stories about "telling the boss". Please give me some examples of how your boss reacted and how you handled it. I want to shout the benefits of WLS from the roof tops and feel that it would squash my enthusiasm if I had to pretend I didn't have it when my boss is around. — ronascott (posted on September 10, 2000)
September 10, 2000
rona,
i had to tell my district mgr who is a nice looking thin man
and i was a nervous wreak but i couldnt of asked for a nicer
person to have had to tell, he was very supportive and still
is. i also had to be off longer than planned because i had
a set back with dehydration and spent 4 days in the hospital
right when it was time to go back to work so i was off
10 weeks instead of 6 .
i would think your boss would be happy you are doing something to get in
shape it will only make you a better
employee. i got to the point i couldnt perform my duties
very well and now i can so it was for the better, and that
is what i told my boss i want to be a better mother to my
children and better wife to my husband and a better employee
for my company and he understood and even pitched in
and helped out alot at my store this summer while i was gone
go in with all your ducks in a row and dont sound wishy
washy and he will understand.
— tina P.
September 10, 2000
I was very apprehensive about telling my boss. I manage a women's health
center and my immediate supervisor is an RN. I was sure she would have a
negative oppinion about WLS due to the problems in the past with WLS. Also
she had lost 100# by dieting so I was sure she would be opposed. Was I
surprised when I finally told her. She was so understanding and very
supportive. I told her I wanted to keep this decision private and she
agreed. She advised me to write the Human Resource department a request
for a medical leave stating I was having elective surgery. It is our right
as an employee by law to keep the reason or type of surgery private. Of
course, after I have the surgery and the weight starts melting off, then I
too will shout it from the rooftops! Until then I just don't want to deal
with any ignorant or negative opinions.
— Kim F.
September 10, 2000
I have worked for the agency (federally funded, county ran) for ten years.
I tried not to tell people, but they are all my friends. I did keep the
exact type of surgery from my immediate supervisors until about two weeks
ago. of course it was after they were driving me nuts asking questions
hinting to tell what type. I finally gave in and was overwhelmed by how
much support i have received from my co-workers and my bosses. The deputy
directer even hugged me goodbye and wished me luck. I couldn't have had it
better. good luck.
— Gina K.
September 11, 2000
I have a slightly different view of what to tell or not to tell
co-workers/bosses. First, I am very happy that the others who posted had
very good experiences with it. It's nice to know that support can be found
in the workplace. But frankly, I urge caution. Once the cat is out of the
bag, it's out, and there's no going back. This includes dealing with
people's opinions of WLS who have no stake in your health or who may not be
supportive, kind people to begin with. I work for a very small company,
and in fact I had only been working there 6 months before WLS. I was very
nervous about taking the time off for the surgery (2 weeks and 1 day).
Only one individual knew all about it, but that's because he happens to be
the husband of one of my best friends, and I swore him to complete secrecy.
Other than that, I knew I was under NO obligation whatsoever to tell
anyone what specific type of surgery I was having - that included the 2
owners AND the human resource person. I filled out the insurance forms
appropriately and honestly, and that was that. I was very lucky because
when people did find out I was having surgery, no one asked me what type.
They respected my privacy and just wished me well. And if someone had
asked me, I would have said it was a private matter. In the past 4 months,
I have just told 1 other woman, and I'm sure a few more will know
relatively soon. I have talked about it at my comfort level and my pace -
when I felt the time was right. There's no right or wrong to this answer.
The best advice I can give is to not rush the process. You will know when
it's right to say what to whom.
— Paula G.
September 11, 2000
Rona, I had a very positive experience with mine. My immediate boss teased
me and told me I had not tried everything before taking this step because
he really cares for me, but relented and supported me. The store manager
was reluctant , but supported me as well. When they saw I made it through,
my store manager came to visit me at home , brought flowers , baloons ,
gifts , and told me to take off an extra few weeks even after I felt well
to get used to my new routine.When I came back to work , she told me if I
found I couldn't handle a full day , go home and have the assistant call
someone in to work for me, even started me back at 3 days a week , then 4 ,
a month later , I was at 5 days. I was getting disability the entire time I
was out and everyone called from work to see how I was feeling. The
situation couldn't have been more positive. Good Luck, Heather
— Heather T.
September 11, 2000
Rona, I decided to tell them that I was having gall bladder surgery only.
The choice was only because I did not want something that to me seemed so
personal out there for ridicule. It prob. would not have come to that but I
was not willing to take the risk. The other reason is because it was
elective and I did not need problems when I was trying to get the time I
needed off. I am really pleased to see that so many others had a positive
experience, it renews my faith in employers. Its really something to think
about. I wish you the best in coming up with your decision. Peace, Trina
— Courtrina Amur W.
September 12, 2000
Hi Rona. I also have a very positive story to tell. I have always been
very upfront about my surgery and the reasons I sought out wls to begin
with. I work in a retail-type setting side by side with my immediate
supervisor (my boss). My boss is a very health-conscious person and we've
talked at length about "diets" and exercise programs and various
"philosophies" regarding weight and weight loss programs. I've
always kept him informed as to my progress, my successes and my experiences
with my rotten plateaus and he's always been very supportive. I guess I
didn't realize just HOW supportive until yesturday when a customer
commented on my weight loss and began asking questions when I informed her
that I'd had weight loss surgery. My boss actually started answering her
questions before I did! Now he's not a "gush-y" type person by
any means, and he's not one to send flowers or balloons or such when I'm
sick or off work (heck, I'm lucky to get a free lunch on Secretaries Day),
but I can sense his support just in the way he not only allows me time to
share my wls stories with him and our customers, but the way he actually
contributes to them himself. I was tickled at his "contibution"
yesturday and truely appreciate his continued support. Sometimes people
ARE misinformed and judgemental. But I'm not living their lives and they
aren't living mine. I did what was best for MY life. I've shown them that
this WORKS. And that picture is still worth a thousand words. Good luck
and God bless. cj
— cj T.
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