Question:
Has anyone been the sole caregiver to their toddler child during post-op recovery?

I have just gotten my surgery date for April 18, I am very very anxious and excited, but I have a major delima. My hubby may not be able to get off of work to help me with our 28mos old son during my recovery. I am a stay at home mom and everyone else in my family works (one of the main reasons I am a stay at home mom). Anyways I was wondering if there is any one out there that had to take care of their child w/out help while their sig other had to work (aprox 8hrs a day)? Pleas respond, I am really really nervous about this, Oh yeah I know it's a little different but I had a C-section with him and I did take care of him by myself after returning from the hospital and amazingly I was a picture perfect patient of great recovery (so says my ob). Thanks,    — Bonnie S. (posted on March 27, 2001)

March 27, 2001
I came home feom the hospital on a monday night, And Tuesday morning I got up at 7am and got my 3 school kids ready fed/dressed and out to the bus, and cared for my 4 year old daughter during the day as well. My kids ages are 9,8,7,5 now. I realize my children are a little older than you child, but If I cared for the needs of 4 young children you should be able to care for your little one as long as you DON'T pick her up(or him). That might be your toughest problem. But at 28 months they are pretty mobile on stairs and such, at least mine were. I wish you much luck and I hope this is helpful for you!!
   — Lauren P.

March 27, 2001
Bonnie, I have to answer this question by saying definetely find a day care or sitter ASAP. You have no idea what physical shape you will be in post op. I have a 3 and 5 year old. I was so sick for 1-2 weeks I could barely get out of bed with nausea. Every single person has a different answer I am sure, but better to be safe than sorry. Your toddler will be very scared to have a momma who might be vomitting and very sick around. I was in bed most of the days for a while. Please think about this....you never know what wil happen! Best of Luck and my you be 100% afterwards!
   — VIXYVIX

March 27, 2001
oh, by the way...my mother-in -law stayed with me 2 weeks while my hubby worked. She was a godsend!
   — VIXYVIX

March 27, 2001
BONNIE, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DATE WITH THE FUTURE. MINE IS APRIL, 30TH. 28MONTHS OLD AND IN TO EVERYTHING. WANTS YOU TO HOLD HIM WHEN EVER YOU DO SOMETHING. I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HIRE A SITTER WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW THE PERSON. MAYBE YOU CAN HIRE SOMEONE TO COME IN WHILE HUSBAND IS AT WORK AND MAYBE THEY CAN WATCH HIM WHILE YOUR THERE AT LEAST FOR ALL THE RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE AND PICK ME UP STUFF. IF NOT MAYBE YOU CAN HAVE SEVERAL KIDS MOVIES AND A DIFFERENT SMALL GIFT TO OCCUPY HIM WHILE YOUR HUSBAND IS AT WORK. I KNOW YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANT HIM IN FRONT OF THE TV ALOT BUT SOMETIMES YOU DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. AND MAYBE IF YOUR HUSBAND CAN FILL TIPPY CUPS WITH WHAT HE DRINKS (MAKE SURE TO DO EXTRA THAN NORMAL, CAUSE WHEN YOU CAN'T THEY THINK THEY NEED MORE.) AND MAYBE HAVE FOOD READY ON A PLATE (COVERED) AND AGAIN DO EXTRA SO HE CAN HAVE A CHOICE THIS WILL MAKE HIM LESS FUSSY. IF HE CAN BE TRUSTED WITH CRAYONS NEW CRAYONS AND A COLORING BOOK IS GOOD FOR A WHILE. JUST HAVE YOUR HUSBAND TRY TO HAVE THINGS READY FOR YOU THE NITE BEFORE. AS FOR CHANGING HIM (IF HE IS NOT POTTY TRAINED, MOST BOYS AREN'T AT THIS AGE) CAN HE GET UP ON THE COUCH ON HIS OWN? IF SO HAVE DIAPERS AND WIPES AND CHANGE OF CLOTHES AT ONE END OF COUCH. DON'T WORRY IF THINGS AREN'T LIKE YOU WOULD LIKE THEM WITH THE HOUSE. YOU CAN CATCH UP LATER, OR MAYBE YOUR HUSBAND WOULDN'T MIND PICKING UP AFTER WORK. JUST BE CAREFUL WALKING WITH THE TOYS ON THE FLOOR. IF YOU BELONG TO A CHURCH I BET YOU CAN GET A LOT OF PEOPLE WILLING TO COME HELP OUT. JUST ASK YOUR PREACHER I BET HE WILL PUT THE WORD OUT. AS FOR THE C-SECTION I HAD ONE TO MY DR. SAID IT WILL HURT LIKE THAT ONLY MORE AND LONGER. THE CUT IS DOWN LOW AND STRAIGHT ACROSS WITHE C-SECTION. AND UP AND DOWN WITH WLS. MAYBE YOU CAN AT LEAST HAVE SOMEONE YOU CAN CALL IF SOMETHING HAPPENS. JUST KEEP YOUR CHIN UP. EVERY THING HAS A WAY OF WORKING OUT JUST WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT TO.
   — JACKIE S.

March 27, 2001
I too had a c-section and was up and doing everything as soon as we were home from the hospital with my baby. And I thought that my OPEN RNY would be about the same, and I wouldnt have any problems. I was mistaken. My son is now 3 yrs old and I am 16 days post-op....I am so happy that he was already being taken care of during the day by a babysitter. Because I really needed the rest, and would not have been able to do anything with him. I am barely getting him dressed as of today. Takes awhile with a zealous boy. My suggestion would be to hire a babysitter to come into your home, at least she would be there in case something went wrong with you...she could call 911 or your husband, when your 2 yr does not know how as of yet. That babysitter could be extremely helpful to you, because you would also be able to rest during the day, believe you will really want naps. Keep in mind that you will be able to do a lot of YOUR things all by yourself. But you will not be able to HIS things, you can not pick him up and you have to let him know that you have an "Owwie" so that he is careful around you as well. I showed my son, Zachary my owwie in the hospital when he came to pick me up, and told him he couldnt touch and that he had to be careful around mommys tummy. He has done pretty well....but one day, he came over and plunged into me like he normally would, because he wanted a hug. That hurt pretty bad. This is my experience with a little one and surgery..and everyone else will have their own experiences, but I would say...it is better to be safe than sorry. A babysitter, who comes into your home, should only except 10-15 dollars a day. Look for a college student. Good luck, and best wishes on your surgery.
   — Kimberly N.

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