Question:
Should I be concerned about my sense of calmness?
I'm scheduled for surgery on Monday, February 17,2003. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I haven't been freaking out emotionally. I feel very calm so far. I've been doing the last supper thing this week. I'm depressed, because my family doesn't support me in my decision to have the surgery. Thank goodness my husband makes up for all of them with his support! But, I keep wondering if I am really prepared for what I'm about to do, or am I kidding myself? Don't get me wrong, I'm scared about what's going to happen, and all of the life changes that will take place afterwards. But, I wonder if I've really accepted the reality of it all. I know that there's really no way to completely prepare yourself mentally, but I'm scared that maybe I'm not being realistic with myself. What if I wake up Monday in recovery and realize I made a big mistake? Does this make any sense? Maybe I'm not as calm as I think I am.... Thanks everyone! - Autumn — autumn F. (posted on February 11, 2003)
February 11, 2003
Autumn, I don't think it's that unusual for you to be really calm. I had
my surgery 9 months ago, and was not the least bit nervous leading up to my
surgery date or even on the day of my surgery. It was what I wanted, and I
was ready ... no reason to be worried about it, I guess. What was going to
happen was going to happen. Try to stay calm, I'm sure you'll do just
fine. Good luck on Monday!!
— KelBurt
February 11, 2003
I had my surgery almost 6 months ago. I am a single mother with NO family
in the area. In the weeks before my surgery I was the calmest I have ever
been. I knew I was going into a life changing event and even up until the
moment I was put under - I was calm. I think I just knew deep inside that
life was going to be better than it had ever been before - and it has. You
aren't a freak, good luck!
— Shannon H.
February 11, 2003
I'm the opposite. I was very calm until about sometime in December. I was
then that I started freaking out about the surgery. Now I'm in a phase of
alternating calm and anxiety. Soon we'll be on the other side and losing
weight and feeling better physically and mentally.
<p>Take Care, Be Well, and Be Happy!
— John T.
February 11, 2003
Autumn I don't think that you are fooling yourself at all. I too was very
very calm, not scared or apprehensive at all. My faith is very strong and
I knew, first that I was in the will of the Lord and second that He would
see me through. My recovery wasn't bad either. This journey has been
wonderful for me and I know that it will be the same for you. Embrace the
fact that you can be so calm and know that you are doing this for you and
not anyone else. It would be nice if you could have the support of your
entire family, but since you can't, cling to your darling husband for all
the support that you need. Your family is just afraid of the what if's,
they don't take into consideration being obese is as risky as the surgery
itself. Take care of yourself my AMOS sister and please stay encouraged.
God Bless,
Lenay
— Dortheria B.
February 11, 2003
I was very calm, too. But, I am usually the one who keeps my head in an
emergency as well. I don't think that it means that you aren't thinking
about what could happen. It just means that you are staying rational and in
control. Good luck on Monday.
— Julie S.
February 11, 2003
I was calm, too, and I attribute it to being absolutely certain this is
what I wanted to do...no wavering here. Any nerves I experienced were only
because I had never had major surgery before, but once you see that you'll
wake up after, it's not as big a deal...at least to me. Good luck.
— Leslie F.
February 11, 2003
Reality will hit you. It probally will be the night before or morning of
your surgery. In any case, it's nice that you are'nt being tormented about
it provided you have thought everything through and know what you are
doing. As long as we know the risks and are realistic, then it's nice not
to live in fear. The calmer we can be, the better. Best of luck to you.
— Danmark
February 11, 2003
I didn't get nervous until the anestesialgist told me that I had a 5%
chance of not waking up from this surgery. Up to that point I was very
calm. I had no anxiety or anything. Just like you. You are informed
& you know what you are getting into. The hospital stay does suck and
life may suck for a couple of days after your home, but you won't regret
it. Especially if you wake up in the recovery room! :~) Good luck and no
worries!!
— [Deactivated Member]
February 11, 2003
Hi Autumn! I too was very calm about having my surgery when it got close
to the wire. I was nervous up until like the last week, then everything
just evened out. I think it's from you're resolved that you are going to do
it and you know it's the best thing for you. I felt like having the surgery
was fate for me at that point. Don't worry and you won't wake up and think
you've made a big mistake. It's a fantastic thing to lose so much weight
fairly quickly and become a new person. I'm just bearly starting my 6th
month and have lost 76lbs. I'm still reeling over how much smaller I am and
how different I look and feel. It's so great to bend over and tie your shoe
without losing your breath and seeing stars. LOL! Go into this with gusto!
Do the things that you should do in recovery and be confident in your
heart. Good Luck!!!
— mbradley35
February 12, 2003
I was calm until the morning of surgery, and then I calmed myself down by
the time we left for the hospital that morning. If you've done lots of
research, and sought lots of support here and in other support groups,
hopefully you've learned a LOT about what to expect as a pre-op, new
postie, and long-term postie. You will be able to fall back on all of that
along the way. I remember thinking, that based on what I read, I should
expect that I might wake up having regrets, or depression, or buyer's
remorse. Fortunately, it didn't happen to me, but with the funky mental
things anesthesia CAN do -- form me, it made dog food commercials an
emotional experience :PP -- and with the healing process, you just have to
prepare yourself to expect ANYTHING you've seen here, and then some. But
calm is *good*, and the busier you can keep yourself in these upcoming
days, the better. :)
— Suzy C.
February 12, 2003
Hi Autum,
I was just thinking how weird and calm I am(I go in for LAP RNY at 6:30 am
tomorrow!)and I am at wk today.I was happy to read your post. I think if I
was freaking out, it would make me feel that I wasn't making the best
decision. I am almost always sure of myself and I trust my judgement. I
rarely have regrets. The fact that I am so calm reinforces my beliefs. Also
I trust in God, he has the last word afterall!
Best of luck to you, trust yourself.
— jpwork00
February 12, 2003
I was calm all the way through, i never got nervous. I knew this was the
right thing for me to do, and had an inner sense that everything was gonna
be fine. It was, absolutely no complications. Open RNY November 11, 2002
down 100 pounds
— dkinson
February 12, 2003
I also was very calm. I am the kind of person that prepares for my
challenges and gets a jump on things. I started preparations after I was
approved: Worked with a personal trainer, removed sodas from my diet,
started eating more protien, etc. I think it helped me feel more in
control. I lost 15 pounds before surgery because I read that it would make
recovery easier. I had the surgery while I was still healthy so that I
would have the absolute best chance of waking up. I felt prepared and
informed (well at least I thought I was LOL). I truly don't ever think it
occurred to me as more than a passing thought that I may not make it
through. Of course, I am invincible and that helps! ;)
— ctyst
February 12, 2003
Hello Autumn, I know exactly what you are going through, I just had my
surgery 9 days ago, and I was not the least bit nervous (quite opposite of
my husband, who was freaking out and I was calming him!) Anyway it is now
behind me, I could not be happier, and I have lost 15 pounds! Be glad that
you are feeling calm, it's so much better than being a basket case! God
bless you on the 17th! You will do great!
— BRENDA R.
February 12, 2003
Of course you are as calm as you think! No need to think you'll freak out
at the last minute or it will suddenly hit you. If you've researched your
decision, talked with your husband and trust your surgeon, there is nothing
to worry about! I am not a "religious" person by nature but
consider myself to be spiritual (I have my own beliefs and respect those of
others). I felt after doing nearly a year of research, talking to my son
and my husband and closest friends, I had done all I could to be at peace
with my decision. But really I found the greatest peace in releasing any
doubts or fears to God. I was so miserable the way I was, with numerous
health problems, I actually believed that if it was God's will for me not
to survive this process, then it was out of my hands anyway. I trusted Him
to bring me through. And He has blessed me with tremendous success! (Not to
say there isn't some work involved). Also, I don't mean to simplify this
process or to preach. Whatever spiritual beliefs you hold, hold onto them
during this and have faith in yourself, the love of your husband and the
skill of your surgeon. Good Luck to you. - Anna LAP RNY 7/3/02 -110lbs.
— Anna L.
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