Question:
What do you tell co-workers when they put down wls, not knowing I plan on doing it?
My co-workers,all nurses, have been putting down wls ever since another co-worker had it done. They are showing not support to her. What do I say to them? I am planning on having the surgery but haven't told them because of how they responded to the other co-worker. — shelbabyrn (posted on December 30, 2002)
December 30, 2002
The people I worked with asked me a lot of questions prior to my surgery.
They couldn't understand all the hoopla about this. When I told them about
the surgery and the results, they were very happy for me. I just saw a few
of them a few weeks ago (I hadn't seen them in a few months due to job
relocation) and they were so excited. I think a lot of people don't
understand the surgery, so they criticize. Sometimes health care
professionals are the worse critics! If you think you'll get the same
tongue lashing your friend received, I wouldn't say anything until the last
minute. Good luck!
— dolphins94
December 30, 2002
Do you really need to tell them?
— Marti R.
December 30, 2002
I know you must be feeling like you have a GIANT secret that you feel is
IMPOSSIBLE to keep to yourself. I was exactly the same way almost a year
ago when I started my journey. I have never told my co-workers or even
close friends for that matter because I didn't want to open any cans of
worms no matter how you feel about it. I simply did not and do not want
anyone else's opinions. I have lost 90 pounds since March and of course my
co-workers can't shut up about my loss and they have all asked for my
"diet tips". I simply tell them I have limited my portions
(true), focus on protein (true), exercise (true), drink lots of water
(true), and take vitamins (true). I just don't talk about the surgery. It
has gotten MUCH easier to avoid and I am so happy I haven't told anyone.
It's simply none of their business. If I can get away with not telling
anyone, being the big-mouth that I can be, then anyone can get away with
it! Best of Luck to you!!!!!!
— LaRayne H.
December 30, 2002
Well, if they are anything like the nurses I work with (and I say this with
love) it's just part of their day to talk bad about whoever is not in the
room. I think you just have to realize that, and do your own thing. If you
gained 50 pounds, they'd talk about you. When you lose 50 pounds, they'll
talk about you. Tell about the surgery - they'll talk about you. Don't tell
- they'll talk about you. It's just life in health care. I've lost 70
pounds and everyone voices support to me, but I don't doubt when I'm not
there that things are said like, "70 pounds? You can't tell it."
Or, "Thank God, she couldn't have gotten much bigger." You can't
control it, so just do what makes you the most comfortable, I say. Good
luck!
— Kim A.
December 30, 2002
Hi Shelley, I can 100% relate to this. I am also an RN and had an uphill
climb with my co-workers also nurses. I think it was only because we KNOW
what can happen and we see some of the botched up surgeries that some docs
do. What I did was gather as much info for them as I could, talked to them
about my feelings, see I needed them as support as I have no family here
with me. They had a lunch for me the day before my surgery hoping to talk
me out of it AND loving me as well. My dearest friend even hugged me before
I left crying and saying "please don't die". It was ruff for them
as well as they cared for me. But now after it's over......they are my
biggest cheerleaders. There are still one or two ( who also happen to be
overweight) that poo poo the surgery saying they will do it the "right
way". I support them knowing it will be as tuff for them as it was for
me. SO just let them talk, find yourself a confidant and go with it my
friend. I wish I could have done this years ago! And ya know what? My
biggest opposers are now JEALOUS that I can fit into clothes they cannot!!
Score one for the fat chicks! God bless you.
— Gina D.
December 31, 2002
Wow! I just read the answers to your question and they floored me. I am an
RN also. My co-workers were critical, some not so critical. I also have
found a lot of ignorance in the health field regarding wls. The other
night on Discovery Health show they had wls as a topic and they referred to
the stomache stapling and the gastric bypass as the same thing!! Go Figure.
My first PCP also referred to them as the same thing and said
"everyone I know just regains the weight, you need to diet and
exercise". I found another doctor, and quick. Another thing about the
answers to your question that shocked me was the other RN who said its part
of the health field to talk about people. You are so right. I get so sick
of the back talk.
You do what you feel led in your heart to do. If they don't support you,
don't talk to them or just move on to another job after the weight loss.
Then never bring it up. Good luck to you.
— denaa
December 31, 2002
No matter what profession we are in I would feel bad if people are getting
slammed behind their backs. Surgery or not, we should not give in to gossip
and stick up for those who get treated badly. And if you know what they are
saying about her, just imagine what they could be saying about you.
Be strong!
Having been in the hospital a lot in the last few years, I have heard most
of the nurses bash each other even while caring for me in the room. Sad.
— kultgirl
December 31, 2002
I didn't tell anyone about my surgery, I just told them I had some
intestinal problems I was having fixed. After I started loosing the weight
and melting away everyone wanted to know what I was doing. So THEN I told
them! They really couldn't talk bad about it when they saw the results
before their eyes. Guess you could say I pulled an Al Roker!
— Diana W.
December 31, 2002
My question to you is, when they put down the co-worker who had it done, do
you stick up for her? If not, why not? I would tell these other
co-workers to have some respect for their co-workers and if they cannot
support the one who had it, then to not say anything at all. As for you,
it is your decision to tell or not to tell. If you do tell, you could
always preface it by telling them "I hope you treat my decision with
more respect than you did for ____." I chose not to tell anyone and
when asked how I lost the weight, I said the same thing that LaRayne said
below-all true-more exercise, more protein, smaller meals, and lots of
water.
— Cindy R.
December 31, 2002
Shelley.......it's simple....your body, your life, your unhappiness as well
as unhealthiness, and I wouln't let your fellow co-workers mistreatment of
the other women affect you, you are doing this for you not them, and if
they don't like what you do, tell them you don't want to hear any negative
comments about this, because it was your personal decision not theirs
Congrats on your surgery
and don't let anyone get you down for this, you've made the right decision,
and the reason I say that, is because it's YOUR decision and no one else's
~~ Hugs ~~
=^.^=Mm=^.^=
— Michelle M.
December 31, 2002
It's all about jealousy or ignorance. Those who struggle with weight are
jealous that you may actually succeed where they have failed. Those who
never had weight problems are just plain ignorant on the struggles that fat
people have in managing their weight.
<p>
I've told people at work about the surgery. Most were curious and just
told me that they could never do it. Others disapproved but did not
outright critize me for getting WLS. Instead they told me about diets that
worked for them (losing 10-20 pounds of holiday fat is far different than
trying to lose 140+ of life long fat).
<p>
And then there is this one new co-worker who has pissed me off. He told me
flat out that I do not really want the surgery, that the surgery does not
work, and if I ever tried to just devote an hour a day to excercise and cut
back on what I ate. He then went on to tell me about a "friend"
who had the surgery and gained it all back. This is a guy who never had a
weight problem in his life and is totally clueless about what it's like to
be fat and struggle with weight. I told him.. been there done that...
I've lost 100 pounds on my own but have a problem keeping it off.
Co-workers are a hard lot to deal with since you have to work with them on
a daily basis and are forced to keep up the politicking so you can't just
tell them to piss off.
<p>
Take Care, Be Well, and Be Happy
— John T.
January 1, 2003
I am going through the same sort of issues. My surgery is 1/23, I have
only told close friends and family members. I do not plan on telling
anyone at work. It is none of their business. All of the responses to
your question has really made me feel better about my decision. Thank
you!! Good luck to you!!
— Bea ..
Click Here to Return