Welcome to my site. Isn't it pretty ! KymH, one of the Obesity Help Volunteers, gave it this wonderful look, and captured part of me without knowing about my tea party business! I keep promising to come in here and write something...tonight, I feel that I must be in a better mood to do so...
~*~A preface; if you are just browsing or maybe do not know me, you may not understand some of my ramblings. You may wonder why I am hesitant to open up my life -body and soul- here as so many have done. I am attempting to share my journey...I find it difficult to voice some of my feelings. Often, I am made to feel as if I didn't deserve the surgery...that I am not "fat" enough, that I haven't "hurt" enough...oh contrare!!!! My pounds are compacted heavily onto my 5'1" frame and my mental/emotional state is that of anyone who has been obese--ever. The verbal abuses that I have suffered for many years hurt as much as any wounds inflicted by any other abuser. Please know that I began my journey in July of 2003 with a search on the computer to answer the ads from the Sunday coupon section for Bariatric Treatment Centers.I had finally had enough when I could not play with my granddaughter...simply running thru the sprinkler. Early on in my journey, i stumbled onto this website and became immediately immersed in reading and learning...and then became an angel for Brenda Salley. I believe that God put me in that place in time for a reason...I believe that God wanted me to see for myself the downside--Brenda was a truly wonderful gal; and I took her passing quite hard. However, I learned from it. Please read and learn; be educated and make responsible choices.
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Feb '04 Gosh, so much has been going on in my personal life as well as toward my surgery and I still haven't stolen the time to update!With the help of Leilani~*~, my pic is up on the message boards as well as here-it's a before taken on January 23,2004 ( 5 days before my 50th birthday!). Hubby and I were expecting dinner company and so I had splurged and cleaned up the house and myself! He's so sweet; he had the camera just about IN my face! I promise to update -SOON!
3/11/04:It's getting closer! I know, I know, I promised to journal! Such chaos and confusion at our house that when I sit at the computer I feel like I am stealing time away from someone or something else!I have kept records of phone conversations and tests and etc- and many private thoughts...I simply have not written them here- am only now feeling secure in my ability to update w/out screwing up my beautiful profile page!!! When you look up computer illiterate in Webster's ;it says "see Margo M"!!!! ok-Quick update: Med Mutual overturned their denial based on my sleep apnea ,so! I am officially approved for wls as of February 13, 2004 ( Friday the thirteenth!!!) so it was a sweet valentine's day! Of course, par for the course, I didn't KNOW that i had been approved until I called customer service on the 20th... I spoke with my sweet Sue at BTC Ypsi yesterday-the holdup now is that the scheduler didn't quite know where I was going since we have now switched me BACK to Groveport and Dr. Stelmack...the plan now is to hopefully schedule me to meet with Dr S again- it has been 8 months since 1st visit--and do my PAT's the same day, saving me a trip of 262 miles! then- surgery!!! So! now the key is to get things organized at home, keep busy and stay off the computer so I can get the phone call!
3/14/04:Bless her heart! Sue went to bat and made sure that I had SOME info for the weekend!She called Friday afternoon to ease my mind! It is all "tentative" but I am scheduled to go for pretests on Tuesday 3/16 and then surgery on Friday,3/26.....I am so excited but I am trying so hard not to wait for that other shoe to fall!!!! Monday, I'll know for sure about these dates---the scheduler needed to do something in the computer! Dr S feels that since I saw Dr Pop in September, he would look thru his notes and check all of my clearances.... March 26th--my rebirthday!!!!! finally here.......see you on the lighter side!!!!I know that several of you have been saving my place.....
April 1--OMG this is no April Fool's....i have so much to report and no more time online today but all i can say is Thank God..i am so happy that i had this surgery!!!! ooops- gushing isn't good for the keyboard... if i ever get my thoughts together to journal i'll go thru my wonderful experience! just know that it was practically painless ( well- those stomach spasms are a b**** but a shot took care of them!). i was only in hospital 50 hours and 25 minutes- and so glad to get home to my own bed!!! today is day 6 and i feel great- tomorrow i progress to full liquid, meaning i can add sf fudgsicles!!!!! and protein powder now ....i can see my shin bones today- had almost forgotten they existed!!! my wedding ring is getting very loose and my face shows the losses in my cheeks...i do have some trouble sleeping through the nite still but- hey! small price to pay! slowly, i'll get back in the groove to post,etc. but i know this was a true blessing for me~*~
Monday, May 31-Memorial Day I have been so bad about updating-and i have urged so many to do so that i am here- but briefly! I am in too fiesty of a mood today to do any serious posting. I will share that I am down 31 pounds and finding energies that were long lost! I love it! I have had a few bouts with foods that didn't agree with Miss Bitsie..yesterday was granddaughter Amber's birthday party(she is 7!!!) and I am not sure if it was Grampa Danny's mac salad or my deviled egg or the hot dog ( no bun!) dipped in mustard- but something did not agree! If i had realized that I would get sick;maybe I should have eaten a piece of cake--NO!!!!!!!!!! I DO NOT MEAN THAT!!!!!!!!!! Life at our house is changing rapidly- Jason (my live in son) has started working again; which means that I am babysitting Gloria more--except that I, too, have started working...I am at Sky Bank and I love it!Except that means that little Gloria is now in day care 3 days a week....which is really not a bad thing! Kindof strange to try to sneak time to exercise and to post on the boards- but I do believe in paying forward for the wonderful support and advice I have rec'd whether to me directly or from reading other posts! I am in the process of starting up a support group for us around here- many of us that have had surgery at the btc's(MIchigan or Ohio are both a drive!) etc- feel like we are left out if we can't get support- also a few that live out here and had surgery in Cleveland...we all stand behind our docs but need the extra support of local people. ******Oh- a bad thing--my sweet Sue is no longer working at BTC--don't know why or where she went but i miss her!!!sue if you are out there-contact me!!!!!****** ok- I really need to get off the computer- I am hoping that this will appease the profile gods! a-little bit of update is better than none at all! Please take a moment to say a prayer for our soldiers and their families and thank a vet that you are able to be here to read this today! I sure do! *****side bar; If you don't know me you don't know that I was adopted after birth.... I found my mom in March 2000 so .... Memorial Day weekend 2000--I met my grandmother and my sister, Vickie and my uncle Dale for the first time...Memorial Day 2001---I spoke to my dad for the first time ever!!!! I truly have been blessed with a wonderful family, three beautiful children and -so far- two gorgeous granddaughters, this wonderful wls and a loving husband.....as well as the friends I have made on Obesity help.......
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Lady bug, lady bug...fly away home. Your house is on fire and your children will burn~*~ memories from the early years!!!! Friday,June 25th Today is my eldest son's 28th birthday and i am feeling quite reflective- not good considering recent happenings at home which have been shared on the message boards-.i thank God for my wonderful hubby and the ability to share with him as we struggle thru this episode of parenting.he has put up with so much between myself and my kids since he and i met almost 4 years ago! Today also is 12 weeks since my surgery and i feel fantastic!!!!! last nite, i got into a men's medium polo shirt for work--have been wearing men's XL for-ever!!!!...i am wearing size 16 capri jeans and they are almost loose- 12 weeks ago , i was in 22's! last nite, i went to get my hair trimmed up and had bangs cut back in--sure hope i don't regret it! but i am now wearing my hair up and off my face and it is more flattering!i have energies that i haven't had for years and i actually love getting up and getting ready for work and walking and riding my exercise bike--tho i still haven't planted my garden! i do have to say that a hard part of my new eating is that i really enjoyed having my cup of tea or coffee WITH something- a cookie or something--and now to have my whole wheat low carb bagel and sugar free peanut butter with nothing to drink is kindof well---however, i am down almost 40 pounds and need to measure the inches again! hey- my innards were worked on- not my procrastination! having said that; i feel that this update, while long overdue, is better than nothing! i have had some pics taken and need to get them developed- hopefully a new pic soon!today, i changed my name on here to lilladiebugg--i am feeling like my house is on fire and my children will burn- figuratively--as there are problems with my eldest son and with my daughter and their living arrangements ,etc....i am putting these thoughts on here to remind myself for later and i am now turning it all over to God. His strength will get me thru.
"There's no crying in baseball!!!" That's the sentiment that always comes to mind when I read some of the posts on this board. In case some of you haven't made the connection, that's one of the lines Tom Hanks made famous in the movie "A League Of Their Own". I see so much whining here sometimes that it's hard to decipher the kids from the adults. First and foremost, you have to keep it POSITIVE. If you think you can't - you WON'T! Just that simple. I've read a few things recently and wonder when do "we" finally take ownership of our actions, life and health? Those that are now Post-Op have been given a gift, a second chance. It's up to us to live it as healthy as possible. We're ALL statistics waiting to happen. There are insurance companies chomping at the bit, eager to drop WLS and some already have. Any negative stats added to the mix just strengthens their case(s). I can't control everything that will happen to my body after this surgery, but some things I can. I choose to take control and I will be a positive statistic when the numbers get counted. I see the same complaints over and over. What people have the hardest time grasping is that some things really are NO LONGER AN OPTION for them. You gave up those options/choices the day you got up on that table and committed to this life changing procedure. We live in a spoiled society where we think everything in life should come with a buncha cool choices. Well, guess what? When it comes to your continued health, you're not always going to get a choice. You either DO IT and stay healthy, or you DON'T and pay the price. You have a 90 day healing and adjusting period right after surgery. That's plenty of time for the new pouch and you to incorporate new things required to stay healthy. For those that are OVER 90 days Post-Op, it's time to get serious! ~~You can't get in enough liquids during the day? TOUGH. It's not an option anymore. Find a way to do it, get suggestions and tips from others on the board, read, learn and then DO IT. Why do you think there is a choice here? ~~You don't like the big horse pill vitamins, or the tart chewables?...can't remember to take them?...or maybe it's just too many to bother with? TOUGH. You gave up that choice when you agreed to have your insides rerouted. Find a way to get them in, no exceptions, your health depends on it. ~~Protein is a must. Can't get it all in via foods and you don't like the way the shakes taste? TOUGH. Either get it through your meals, and there are a gazillion foods to choose from, or supplement it with protein shakes and bars. I don't drink my protein shake every morning because I think it tastes like a chocolate freeze from DQ. I've tried many. I'd venture to say 15 of the top sellers have crossed my lips. I've yet to find one that is as 'delicious' as is boasted. So what! A year and a half later, I drink it every morning, never missing ONE, because I need "X" grams of protein each day and I'm not getting enough via my meals. Nuff said. I've been walking the walk for 17 months now. I have stumbled a few times with my food choices and you know what? I'll trip a few more times before I get to the end, but there are some things I will never fail at. My Vitamins, H2O and Protein. This surgery is a gift. I owe it to me and everyone else who is still fighting the good fight for approval, to do it right! SO I choke down my vitamins, my water and my protein every single day. Some days are much easier than others, regardless, no days are missed. It's all about discipline. Create a routine, set a timer, develop a pattern, tie a string your finger, glue a note to your forehead, whatever it takes. We're adults - take responsibility! If this surgery does not slap a back bone into you, not much will. ***the above was written by Leilani...a true comrade in my journey thru this weight loss experience!!!***
It's July 15th...I had to postpone my 3 month appointment with Dr Stelmack---(family funeral)I am down 45 pounds today and feeling great!!!!I'm in size 16 dresses and loving it ....still about 65 # to go...will be anxious to hear about my bloodwork , which prob'ly needs to be redrawn before my appt.
September 3, 2004-OUCH!!! I knew that I had been away but not this long again!I am really only here right now to update my weight and date with my new pic--Vickie-an OH volunteer is a new member of our NW Ohio support group and took the Aug 30th photo-below- at our mtg --thank you, Vickie! I am stalled at 50# loss but i know it is my fault--and I am not laying blame--I simply cannot expect to really lose if I am not following directions!Here's the deal--I am getting my protein in but I am not getting enough water daily and I am not getting exercise like I should--by the time I get home from work I am too pooped to pop---and I think it is all a cycle! Michael and I have fallen into "cocoon" mode already- I think that finally having the house quiet again has made us realize that it's ok to go to bed at 8:30 PM. ~~~~ One of the new gals at work wants to start walking with me--I know it won't be everyday but it will help ! And I enjoy her company!So , we have a tentative "date"... Speaking of work; when I work a short day, I get a 15 minute break only..I usually have a protein bar at some point in the morning and try not to graze thru my break. When I work a full day, I will take something for lunch- for example, yesterday was tuna and some mayo, with a few roma tomatoes on the side. So long as tuna is mixed with mayo, I can eat it- plain-nope!I also had a protein bar midmorning and midafternoon yesterday...just need to get the water in...but it is difficult to leave the teller line to potty ...well- today, I spoke with my supervisor and we devised a plan---on long days, I will start taking a half hour lunch in the morning and a half hour lunch in the afternoon instead of a full hour mid-day. And she said that I need to do what I need to do in regard to my water intake and output....hopefully, that coupled with starting back up on some routine of exercise can get the scales moving! I am still seeing inches moving but not as I should. I feel fantastic!!!! and many compliments about the shorter hair and the highlights around my face! My eyes actually look bluer!!! OT: I talked to my dad tonite- he is in Jacksonville, Fla...they are waiting for hurricane frances to make land tomorrow sometime- he says that he is ok where he is--today, it has been very heavy on my mind as 3 of my top 8 special guys in my life live along the east coast of Florida. oh! it may be time to think seriously about going back to school- the signs are pointing to teaching still being in my future! some real woo woo thoughts lately!!!!
September 7th WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! By posting on here that I was not losing and putting it out there for the world to know that i wasn't following directions--i cracked down on myself and have managed to lose 5 pounds!!!!!!!!!! this now means that i am halfway to my doctor's goal!!!!! whoooooooooo hoooooooooo !!!!! not only that-yesterday, i tried on size 14P jeans ( with elastic waist)--and they fit!!! it was almost orgasmic as i stared at myself in the full length mirror--they are a teensy tight at the pockets (waist)--but sleek all the way down over my hips thighs etc...Michael actually had to take a second look at my butt!!!! I know that if I never lost another pound , I feel so much healthier than I did 6 months ago--however; I am determined to make the most of this gift ...and only I can work the tool--no one can do it for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~I can now stand all day at the bank-I can run in the backyard with Gloria-wow- so many things--now if i can just get rid of my cpap!!!!!(had my own private hurricane going this morning!) On a sad note; i spoke with my Dad yesterday- he was sitting with no power so no a/c , no tv...but not harmed--and he relayed that my brother ,Jeff, will be going back to Iraq soon. Please, if you pray, pray for Jeff's safety.The Beastmasters are heavy transport and when they are on the roads; they almost have a bullseye on their doors...
Oh MY Goodness! september to april...wow! i attended the national conference in LA in october and we bought a house and moved in december while i was working two jobs and i switched jobs and my mom had her surgery and i saw my brother in march he didn't recognize me!and a new grandbaby is due in october!!!! and and and
Which Finding Nemo Character Are You?brought to you by Quizilla
hi! just dropping in with something cute found on a fellow marcher's site! nemo was such a cute movie! and wow--the quiz sure shows my truest side...worry wart-mother hen--both describe me-- actually-it's april 17th, 2005 and i am cruising the boards-my normal stops- looking for what's new with my friends etc--- i know that i have been very lax --again!-about updating my profile pages--and i keep saying that i will yet i feel like i have nothing profound to say--and then i wish that i was more computer literate to post pics-i know that there is a gal who is getting annoying showing up on every page of the main board telling us how to do it yet i am not ready! pics-- wow--how deceiving--i have taken several pics of my self as well as having michael take them--only to be disappointed- they just don't show how i feel! why are we so tuff on ourselves???when does the mind catch up ? or is it because i am not used to the face that comes back--when i was a teen i would spend hours staring at my mirror wondering whose eyes those were ( i was adopted)- sometimes i still feel like that 17 year old in my senior pics--hmm-i should scan a pic-wow-have to learn how to use my scanner first!!-how confident i look yet i had just had a big breakup with a special beaux-we had broken up after 9 wonderful months- and the airbrushing did wonders! i was thin and confident enough to wear a wonderful sleeveless aqua linen dress; my long hair straightened just right --and some days i still feel like that 17 year old til i stop and look in a mirror--i see a 51 year old frumpy broad! i cut my hair a bit ago--in an effort to release some of the weight around my face and get rid of highlighting faux pas -and to allow ease in getting ready for work in the mornings since i spend too much time online--and i like the kicky short do--but my family thinks it is too short-hubby detests it--i just keep thinking that when i'm ready it will grow back! after all--this is MY time and it's all about ME!!! I wanna talk about me...I wanna talk about I ...I wanna talk about number one oh my oh my!!!! sorry Toby!!! gosh--THAT sounds way selfish!!!! well- it IS about me-making me healthier and livelier--i feel great! i can walk and dance and wiggle-i even ran a bit last weekend-just only maybe 50 feet-but when i took off to see if i could it felt natural and i think there will be more in my future! hubby thinks maybe he needs to find more chores for me cuz i wanted to dance with him in the kitchen the other day-he is not sure how to handle my new energies-and he is not able to keep up when i go walking-tho he tried one day-(he has a very bad hip).there are issues with this -not keeping up stuff-and it worries me---more than i thought it would. he is 14 years older than i and i thought we would be ok but i am having issues-if ya know what i mean.... i finally ordered new glasses- note to pre and newly postops--if you wear glasses-be prepared! once your chubby cheeks lose weight-your glasses fall farther down on your face and your line of vision may need new adjustments!!! that and i am wearing outdated frames! my new ones will have no bottom rim -and so will look more kicky too!(on another note- the eye doc found a slight beginning to macular degeneration in my left eye--very very slight yet she did say that about the only thing to help it right now is my daily vitamin-so! heed the call when you are told to take your vitamins!!!) i am wearing size 12 pull on pants and ladies medium in most tops-such a cool feeling after all of these years! my 12's are a teensy loose but i am not ready to go to 10's-specially after i put on a pair of 16 petite shorts last week-and they fit-bummer in teh head department!!!sure wish for consistency-numbers are an awful game!!! (*that was for pre and new postops!!! it can be horrible to compare yourself with others-don't do it!!!!*) with my hair so short i find that i cannot hide-i am out there--now-if you have never had long locks you may not understand that--it is another esteem issue-a place to hide-so now i have just about "bared" all- my ears show! my turkey neck my chins etcetc.... i have made my appt with dr stelmack for my one year checkup-actually it will be on my 13 month anniversary-(yes-i know! ..procrastionator is my middle name!!!!); i went this past week for my blood to be drawn and i am sitting at about 153 pounds this morning--which means-by my scale-that i have about 33 pounds to goal-i have decided that those last 30 or so are going to take just about damned near forever to shed after all, they have been glued on tightly for over 25 years!they are compacted in there and they are not moving! i am trying to increase my activity and my water and protein; trying to shake it up a bit -surprise the bod so it will burn those calories--i am really getting better about my vitamins etc--again with the vitamins--do what you are told-take them-make sure that you are taking the right kind of calcium...and supplement whatever you need to...i am not going to promote a particular brand or site or anything else- i have some doubts about some of those out there howeveri am not a scientist or medical professional... just be sure to take your vitamins and calcium!!! i have been very blessed not to have problems that so many have had since my surgery-sometimes i almost forget that i have had it-til i eat or drink something either too fast or the wrong way!!! it is a constant challenge to me not to snack -or graze- i have to really watch the "stuffing of face cuz there is nothing else to do" syndrome! i am excited to be preparing to attend the east coast national convention next month-windy pat will be driving here from chicago and we will drive in to jersey together. natalie-irish pixie - will be my roomie-that will be exciting to meet her as well as patti d and many others from the OFF boards... i will be looking at the workshops in a different light as i am now farther out and my own needs are differing--since i am still losing it is hard to put my head into maintenace-but i will take notes! well-i have babbled on a bit-much more than i had planned when i pasted nemo on here! please continue to read and post and learn! and please pray for our wls sisters and brothers -as well as our troops-my brother is back in Iraq and it simply scares me! Thank God for our freedoms here!!!!!
http://images.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/pics/m/mammak54-m1064495414-2.jpg
taken January 06 at work
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