A New DIET!!!

I got this diet from work...it sound great....read the combination of foods....what do you think?? The No-Stress Diet Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice unbuttered whole wheat toast 8 oz.glass skim milk Lunch: 40z lean broiled skinless chicken breast 1 cup steamed broccoli 1 cup herb tea 1 Oreo cookie Mid-afternoon snack: The rest of the Oreos package 2 pints of Rocky Road ice cream 1 jar of hot fudge sauce Dinner 1 loaf garlic bread 2 cans of coke 1 large pepperoni pizza 3 Snickers bars Late-night snack: 120z bag of Cheetos Entire Sara Lee Cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer) Rules for the No-Stress Diet -If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. -If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the soda cancels out the calories in the candy bar. -When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do. -Cookie and potato chip pieces have no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage. -Things licked off knives, spoons, and mixer beaters have no calories. -Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass. -Anything consumed from someone elses plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person. -Remember, "stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts."

Jaci, that was hilarious!! We used to joke in high school that anything that was brown didn't have any calories. Darn, maybe it was all those calorie-free brownies I ate that made me fat!! Thanks for the late night laugh! Lisa S.

That was great, I laughed sooooo hard. The rules were awesome..... hugs, kristi

That was too funny!!

Jaci, that was cute, I was actually falling for it, even with the one oreo cookie! It was the next line that got me! Thanks for the laugh! Karyn

Darn it!! Where was this diet last year?? I could have went without surgery!! LOL That was great Jaci!! Dawn

thats a great one i think i will have to try it. LOL dave

I think I've done that diet! Just yesterday I found myself thinking about the "binge" I had just had on 2 Tbsp of peanut butter and got to remembering some of my past binges. an entire medium pizza 1/2 a bucket of KFC, WITH mashed potatoes, gravy & biscuits a 3 piece dinner from KFC followed by an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's sub sandwich and entire 12 oz bag of potato chips Isn't it strange how my definition of "binge" has changed?