I am still alive and kicking!! (Long)

Hi everyone!! I guess some of you have sent the search party out looking for me, and I love you all for it!! I have had quite a crazy and insane week and a half but I am surviving, and as you may know, I am not going down without a fight.... so here's the lowdown.... I found out about a week and a hal*****hat I did not get the supervisor position that I interviewed for. I am honestly quite crushed and bitter about it and it's a really sore subject for me, especially after learning who did get the positions... but I got great feedback from my boss's boss saying that I definitely need to post for it again when it comes up.... and I probably will... but in the meantime I am moving over to the Data Tech Support Dept and getting $500 now and $500 in 6 months for doing it.... what can I say, I need the $$$ and it's honestly a lot of stuff I already know. I've been with the company for over 4 yrs and know my job well. Apparently as my boss told me today, I nailed the Data interview and had one of the highest scores. So I guess I am in whenever they decide to announce it. That has been my week and a half at work... Now for the more personal stuff, basically all kinds of drama went down and I have gotten stabbed in the back by a supposed friend, had my 2 guy friends confront me about my feelings towards them, and had to be honest and lay it all out for them. I told my best friend Jason, who until that day I thought was still engaged, that I have a crush on him... see, it was already out there and I told him that I wanted it to come from me before he heard it anywhere else... Well, I put it all out on the table and honestly, he said that he had suspicions and that right now is not the right time. He just got out of an 8 yr relationship, and I had ended a 9 yr one almost 2 yrs ago, so I know what he's going through.... he said with him just wanting to go out and rediscover himself and his life and me rediscovering myself with the surgery, we need to work on ourselves first... he said that even though it's out there, he doesn't want me to be the rebound girl and I don't want that either... I told him that I was terrified that now that everything was out that he would run away from me like the others before him have (which is why I keep my feelings buried and later regret that I did) ... he promised me that he's not going anywhere and he doesn't want anything between us to change... he also said that he is afraid to go out with me because we have such great chemistry and a spark, but what if we go out and there's no spark there... we left it as whatever happens happens but it's not going to happen for a while, which I respect and can live with... Thinking back on it he sure had a lot of things to say for a guy that never thought of me and him together, huh? Interesting... So I spent Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night with him and another "friend" (the girl that stabbed me in the back to get me out of the way since to her, I am her competiton).... I had a great time with him, with her, I just tolerate... I "made nice" with her simply for him because they are friends.... but I have not forgiven and I have not forgotten... Simply waiting for Karma to take care of it for me! With all this stress going on, and Aunt Flo visiting... I have been a hormonal, emotional ball of nerves and is one of the reasons that I haven't been around.... But as I said, I am not going down without a fight!!! Also, I have new pics on my MYSPACE profile of my Girls Weekend if you want to check them out... I am officially 78 lbs down and so freaking happy about that!!! www.myspace.com/barlitoforever Thanks for listening to my rants.... I am off to bed now after this one.... ~amber~

Oh Amberlina! ***********HUGS**************** You HAVE had a week! I'm glad you're coming out and venting about it, hopefully that helps you a bit. I am so sorry about the backstabbing- that has to be the worst thing ever And yes, you don't want to be the rebound girl (as far as my limited knowledge), let the two of you fall together later, it will be better then, I'm sure! You look gorgeous in your myspace pics, chicky! I can so tell the difference!!!!! Love Ya! *~*Jax*~*

Hey Amber~ It's nice to see ya posting. Sorry you have had a stressful week. Hopefully venting and letting it all out will help. Congrats on the weight loss! 78 lbs. is awesome and I know you feel just as great. I love the new pic's on myspace. You look great. Dont stay away so long.. We missed your smiling face! Kay

It's good to see your smiling face. You were missed here