Venting about Calories

Ok, I really need to let this out.... At least twice a week I get emails asking me how I live off so many calories. It drives me crazy and makes me so mad. I have explained this over and over and over on this board. It's usually lurkers or someone thats a month behind us. ...." OMG, I would pass out if I ate as little as you" ...." You need to eat more" .... " It's not healthy to eat that little" ..... " I wouldn't be able to get off the couch if I ate only 500 calories" These are a few of the comments that I get from people. It seriously hurts my feelings. I know I am a very sensitive person and I let little things get to me but when I'm doing the best that I can then read comments like this, it hurts. Some people are trying not to eat as much but I'm trying to get more food in. I still get full fast and I still have no big appitite. I ate a peice of cheese for snack today and I really didn't want it. I ate it because I thought about the email I got yesterday and thought.. Mabye she was right, I need to eat more. I got so upset last night because I wanna do things right. I wanna be healthy. I don't feel the need to force myself to eat. I eat a meal and stop when I'm full. My surgeon doesn't suggest counting calories. He just says aim for 75 grams of protien. The only reason I do fitday.com is to track my protein grams. I don't plan meals, I just go with the flow. Right before I post my menu, I do fitday and I'm just as suprised as the amount of calories it is as anybody else. I don't aim for 500 calories. I just eat! The only thing I plan is the half scoop of protien I add at the end of the day. I do that just to get my protein grams higher if I'm falling short for the day. Other than that.. I just eat! I don't know what more I can do. If my stomach cant take anymore than 2.5 oz at a time do I just force it, feel sick because others say " I NEED to eat more" ?? Maybe the emails I get are people that are concerned about me?? I don't know. The same way people struggle not to eat, I'm struggling to eat. I cant believe I'm saying that. I didn't get to 450 lbs. from not eating. Ok, thanks for listening! Kay

Kay, I am so sorry that people have made you feel this way. Let us hope they sent those messages to you out of concern But, in any event, you need to do what is best for YOU! And for what it is worth, my surgeon(s) all feel the same way; if you get the protein in it doesn't matter how few calories you eat. (I do have a limit of how many I can eat, but I can eat as few as possible). I hope this doesn't deter you from posting your daily totals, because I find them VERY helpful. Basically you and I have the same protein goal and I like to see what others are eating and how many calories they get in, etc. It gives me ideas on how to alter my menu. And maybe now that people are aware of the situation, they will understand. I have to explain myself to others often as well... since I had VSG I absorb everything I eat, and thus my diet is quite different then most with RNY. I look at it as an oppertunity to share other views and other WLS approaches with them; knowing full well that I am doing what I need to do according to my doctors. But, it can get annoying. Keep up all your dedication, and don't second guess yourself. You know how much you can handle. You know what your doctors have set forth as your personal plan. You keep with it! Mary

Thanks Mary. When people make comments to me, I always end up second guessing myself instead of standing firm in what I believe in. It's something I need to work on. I posted on the main board too! Thanks again, kay

Kay, I think we all feel that way so don't get discouraged. Stick to what your doctor says. If your bloodwork is coming out okay as well as your checkups and you are feeling good, then that's the best gauge to follow. I think some people are told to up their calories and protein but we have to do what works for us personally. You're doing great! Karen S.

Kay, If you're getting in your protein and I know you are working on the water and your bloodwork is OK, don't give them a thought. We are all different after all. For me, my appetite (I know I spelled that wrong) and I have been eating more. I wish I could cut back some, maybe it would jumpstart my weight loss again, but I need to do what I need to do, just like you do. As long as you are getting in the nutrients you need to be healthy, that's all that counts. I think you're doing just great and if you're feeling good too then that's the end of that story. Sending hugs, \Ronna

Kay, forget about what others are saying. I think they're asking out of genuine concern, but still it bothers you. I think the amount of calories you're getting is a smaller number, but who the hell cares! If that's what works for you, then keeping on trucking. You're doing a great job on your weightloss, so you must be doing something right. I'm sure when it's time, you're doc will tell you to do something differently like he did with the protein. Not only that, but I tried the fitday thing (nervewrecking for me), and it sometimes gives you a lower number on everything. I just get my calories, fat, protein, etc. right off the box. But you're doing great, and now tha you've posted this maybe they'll get the idea and back off. You're doing awesome! April

A few days ago I noticed that the numbers were not correct. I thought it was my computer. I started adding up the numbers myself and they are always 1 number off with the fat and carbs. kay

Kay, you've done so well. Don't worry about what other's think or feel. I let people get to me easily, too. It seems that you eat healthy meals and get in your protein. That 's what matters. As long as you and your dr. are okay with it, it should be of no concern to anyone else. I don't count calories, jus****er and protein. Anytime I start adding up calories, I start to wonder if I'm having too many calories, so I don't worry about it. Hang in there. You'll be at goal before you know it. Karla 337/222/150

Hello, Kay! Funny that your email appears just when I started to panic and think Id better cut back on my eating because my weightloss is always so slow. Though my proetien levels are excellant, I started to be concerned that maybe Im taking in too many calories. I have NO appetite yet so I eat to get in my protein levels because I went through all this, surgery and all, to be healthy and not make myself sick by not eating right. But today I was told that I dont eat enough to keep a bird alive (which I discounted, look at my menu for today...is that so restrained?) and that started me wondering if that may be why my weightloss is slow. My surgeon and doctor both say that the protein is most important and the water and as long as I eating sensibly and not filling up on sugary or startchy things, Im not to worry about calories. Every doctor/surgeon seems to have different advice so I have decided to focus on what my doctors say and they are the ones monitoring my nutrition and blood levels so if they say Im healthy, then I am doing something right. Remember the old saying about " too many cooks spoil the brew"? ...too much advice from well-menaing people just cloud the issue...follow your own doctor's advice and let the rest flow in one ear and out the other! *gentle hugs* Nancy B

Thanks for responding, Nancy. That's exactly what happens. I read everyone's different plans then listen to all this advise I get and I focus on that instead of what my surgeon and nut's rules. My pcp, surgeon and nut have the same rules as your doctors rules. I'm gonna continue doing what I have been doing til they tell me otherwise. Thanks again!