Need advice.

Hey guys. I have been having some internal dilemmas dealing with food. I need to turn to you guys for help. I am supposed to be on pureed foods right now but am having trouble desiring the pureed food, which then keeps my protein intake really low. In fact as I write this I feel like I may not be trying hard enough. Anyway, two nights ago I was soo hungry, yes I get ravenous hunger, that I made some rice with tofu and peas and ate some. I ate slowly with a baby spoon and chewed really well. I did okay and had no ill effects. OF course, I remained hungry after eating for whatever reason. The next day, yesterday, I was starving again (even after eating 4 oz of yogurt) and went to Baja Fresh and got a kids bean, cheese and chicken burrito. I ate maybe 1/3 of it, ate slowly, tried to chew well and again did okay. I then went to my next appt. and began to cry. Why, I really am not sure. Pressure, the relief of not feeling hungry for once, who knows. Anyway. I feel really guilty for not following my instructions more closely and I feel like I'm failing or will fail and that because I can do all this without repurcussions I must have ruined my pouch already. I only have problems when taking my pills and supplements. They gross me out or if I actually take them (perhaps) get stuck and then I feel as if my pouch is overfilled. I'm feeling really depressed and as if I am not in control. Can anyone help me with this. I have thought about calling the Dr. but don't know how that could help. I can see her reiterating the pureed diet, well good, but I'm sick of eating dogfood and I'd rather just not eat. I still do not get enough protein or water and to top it off, my husband is the food police every time I DO eat acting as if that meal/snack is going to cause me to ruin the surgery tool. What to do? Emily

Emily, I know each surgeon is different. My surgeon had me starting on regular foods after week 2. I don't think that you are doing anything to hurt yourself - your just not following the doctors orders. I had a ravenous hunger during week 2 and a friend of mine jumped my butt. Mainly because I felt so guilty about it. She told me that if I didn't get sick from eating it, then my body needed it. We are malnutritioned at this point and there are just some things that our body does need. We just have to have good judgment. Hugs, Beth M

So, do you think that I am having good judgement or should I try to be stronger with better resolve and follow the plan to the "T?" I really am feeling very torn on this and I feel like I have nowhere to turn for help. Emily

Emily, I wish I could, but I can't answer that question. When does your doctor expect for you to change the types of food? I think that your body is needing more that what is allowed right now. Which is why you are 'really' hungry. Beth

I would call your doctor. they are there to help. and you may need some meds to help you fight that depression you are feeling. It is a big change in your lifestyle. I had a hard time with getting everything in but it gets easier as the days go by. I used to love water but now plain water gags me so I do watered down crystal lite or those propel waters, but up to a week ago I did alot of hot beverages. Good luck to you. Kim