Thoughts about surgery (long)

I apologize in advance if this ends up long and rambling. I just hit two months and have been giving the surgery a lot of thought. I had weeks in month one that I wondered what the hell I did to myself. I was counting days that I DIDN"T throw up. Now things are settling in a bit more I am finding that the surgery is beginning to take a backseat in my mind where once it was prevelant. I feel like I am doing really well, I have lost 45 pounds in these two months and I don't really feel deprived. Food isn't as fun for me anymore as it used to be, which being from a large italian family makes me kind of sad but at the same time I have learned how to cope. I do take a bite or two of what most might consider forbidden food when the craving hits me. Especially when pms'ing. I ate a bite of a brownie last week. I have also had a couple of bites of icecream. I don't feel guilty about it, actually I feel proud of myself. Proud that I can stop at one or two bites, have taken care of the craving and do not feel like I am being punished or "on a diet". I drink a half a diet coke a day, but still drink my water. I can go for Mexican with my friends and eat a taco and sip a small margarita (which I have yet to be able to finish half of, lol!) But I feel like I am living a normal life. I know I will always have to be careful of how much I eat and need to continue to make healthy choices 98% of the time. But I want to know that I am living with the surgery as a tool and not living with the surgery using me. I am proud of all of us on the boards, through our struggles and our WOW moments. We have taken huge steps to be healthier and happier and I think that when our scales aren't moving or we're puking up chicken for the third time that we need to remember that this is a journey, not a destination and we will all get there - it took us years to put this weight on but if we continue to be good to ourselves we will eventually get where we want to go. Hugs to all *gets off her soap box* Beth

Beth, how eloquently put! I'm so glad you've gotten to a point of normalcy in your journey post WLS. It still seems to be in the forefront of my mind, but I do feel like I am "normal" in the sense that I do go out and enjoy being with others at a restaurant. And, although, there are still many foods that I am not allowed to eat yet, I haven't really felt deprived. If anything, I'm just getting bored of what I can eat, so I don't really care if I do. I guess that's a good thing comparing it to where I came from on this journey! Anyway, I loved your post and feel free to get on the soap box anytime you like! Lisa S.

I totally agree with you! I feel normal...sometimes I forget I even had the surgery. I definitely don't obsess over it like I used to. I go out with my friends to eat, and have to say I feel proud of myself to be able to choose the healthy items and feel so good afterward. Thank you so much for posting! It reminds us all! April

I too have gotten past stressing over this surgery and I am so glad I did it. I have had the forbidden foods too and only had a bite and I feel so normal. I had to laugh about puking up chicken for the 3rd time, you are right we will get over all of this and our lives are going to be so much more full and rewarding.

Perfectly said

Well spoken. Thank you. Sylvia