advice needed..what would u do?

Am 4 days post op. Friend (I met here just a few weeks ago at a pre-op clinic) is having same surgery, same doc, same hospital in a few days. Said she'd call me to ask how it went for me. My question: Do I tell the WHOLE truth? Some of it wasn't great. Some staff were kind enough, but not "competent" enough. (just my opinion) I'm sure my experience will be different from hers just because we are different people.Plus we'll have different staff caring for us just due to staff being off duty. But I'd hate to NOT tell her something (like about the back pain I didn't expect) and then that happen to her. Don't you think we respond better to EXPECTED pain, etc? Should I just let her ask ?'s and answer them as truthfully as possible. I don't want to scare her. She's a good person and I want her to have a good experience.

Hi Ellen... Personally I feel honesty is always the best policy. Of course you may not to get so graphic that she's terrified but if she's come this far then I doubt anything you tell her could scare her ya know? As for warning her about incompetent staff this could be a good thing so she's prepared for it and has someone there to help her. She must know there's going to be pain innvolved of some type so I'd just answer her as honestly as possible. Her experience will be different from yours. Having you to talk to pre-op has surely been a huge help since you've just been there and done that!! Congratulations by the way!!!!!!

Kathy I appreciate your honesty!! And that I should just remind her that this is MY experience, hers will be different...as they all are. Guess I should warn her that there are some incompetent staff..you are right, it is a good idea to have a family member be your "advocate" while you are still groggy from pain and anesthesia. THANKS FOR THE GOOD ADVICE! And just WHY are YOU up so late??? It's past time for I just can't seem to get to it.

I am just a nite owl tonight.. so I am catching up with everyone's day and seeing what's new.... Doesn't help we just lost an hour so now it's even later than we thought

Oh I forgot.....We DID LOSE an hour, didn't we? WHERE did it go??

Well, I had my surgery in Mexico, so for me it was invaluable to hear all the good and bad. I was more prepared. I angeled a woman who had a horrible problem with pain. It scared me, but I realized that not everyone goes through that (in fact few did), so it was helpful in that I was prepared to ask for different medication prior to surgery, etc. There is also a nurse there that everyone hates and it has become important for us to know who she is so we are prepared to cope with her and be watchful around her. (Thankfully I didn't have her and Dr. Aguirre and the plastic surgeon that works in concert with him have banned her from taking care of their patients.) Anyway, my advice is to preface what you say by asking her if she wants to know everything - the good and bad - in detail or not. And you know her better than we do - so you should be better able to gauge if she can handle the truth. Good luck - and let us know what happens! Dina

Dina, thanks for the advice. I especially like the preface part. I thought it was so interesting that you went to Mexico.So i read your profile. How adventerous (sp) you are....sounds like you had a good experience overall. btw, you have a beautiful son.

Ellen - Normally I'm not an adventerous person at all. I avoid risk at all costs, but God just led me to this point and I had to follow. Thanks for the compliment on my son. I think he's adorable too - but of course, he IS my son and it's hard to be objective! Dina

My angel is having surgery a week from tomorrow, and I have told her everything. The thing I was most floored about regarding the surgery was the levle of pain and discomfort. But that was me. Many people on this board did not have a high level of pain. But, I did tell her that it was something I was not prepared for or expecting. It was for her to do with that info as she wishes. For her, it was not bothersome. She realizes that this was my experience and that we are different. She is also on these boards and reads about others and their pain levels, or lack thereof. So I say tell all. It's your friend's responsibility to take that info and use it as it was meant. mgm

Marla, you and I BOTH were taken my surprise on the pain level thing. Although I THINK I am fairly stoic, there are certain pains I can't tolerate very well and one of them is BACK pain, which I didn't expect to have. Thanks for the advice!!!