advice needed..what would u do?

Ellen, I just had surgery on the 29th. Tell your friend the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!! But also explain to her that everyones experience is different. I did not expect the back pain either. There were other things about my surgery that I knew going in but really did not know...I was not able to drink anything after surgery until the next morning after my leak test. That may be different for you. I knew that going into it but did not know how bad it would affect me. If anyone asks me, I am telling everything. The good, the bad and the ugly

Don't dramatize the negatives, but yes, tell her. Be sure to balance that with truth about when it got better for you. I'm one that deals with the unknown by expecting a bad scenario and then hoping to be surprised by somewhat better than that! The worst part of pain is if you are frightened at the same time that it is not normal. The fear makes it all the worse because you tense up. If you know it is normal and temporary it is much easier to deal with. Just my opinion. (And I was blessed by a much better experience than I expected!) Joy

Tell her about your situation and tell her everyones experience is different. I am now 7 days post op with my biggest problem at this point is feeling sick to my stomach (even in hospital). there was another woman who had surgery same day I did and wasnt gonna be released until 4/2---whole day after I went home---because she had more complaints about everything. re: pain, upset stomach, not drinking. She needs to really decide if she wants to take a chance at a better life or not.