joke for the day
Hey Marchers... I am doing a joke today and beings that I am from the South, I love Jeff FRoxworthy and the you might be a redneck if.... so here are some
You might be a redneck if...
1. Your wife/sister complains about that framed portrait of Hulk
Hogan over the fireplace.
2. More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil
War general.
3. You think the stock market has a fence around it.
4. You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid
taste test.
5. You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
7. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
8. Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
10. You've ever used lard in bed.
11. Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
12. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
13. You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
14. Your home has more miles on it than your car.
15. Your Christmas tree is still up in February.
16. You've ever been arrested for loitering.
17. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.
18. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
19. You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to
make it look nice.
20. You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.
21. You own a homemade fur coat.
22. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
23. Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
24. You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
25. There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the
floorboard of your car.
26. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.
27. There is a wasp nest in your living room.
28. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
29. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
30. There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
31. You burn your front yard rather than mow it.
32. You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality
entertainment.
33. Fewer than half of your cars run.
34. You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the
monkeys.
35. The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.
36. Your car has never had a full tank of gas.
37. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.
38. Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the
principal.
39. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
40. You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
41. Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a
few days.
42. Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure
out how to fix it.
43. Your momma doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before
telling the State Trooper to kiss her a--.
44. You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for
Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
45. Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
46. You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin'
dog.
47. You're an expert on worm beds.
48. The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your
house.
49. Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I
can take a bath!"
50. Your family tree does not fork.
Bethany
I actually laughed out loud.
Karen L. Most Active
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