MARCHERS ARE MARCHERS ARE MARCHERS

Wow, it is very disturbing to read the hurtful comments made by others earlier. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that this Board is available to anyone who underwent WLS in March; and, in fact, anyone is invited to partake, either actively or passively. I see no evidence of "new" people moving in and "taking over". Marchers are Marchers are Marchers, there can be no "new" or "old" Marchers. This Board has provided me with so much information, hope, and inspiration and I thank EVERYONE for that. We have so much to share. In fact, look at Rob's situation, for instance. If you recall, right after he was initially released from the hospital, he posted to the Board a couple of times, expressing concern over how he was feeling. The responses he received unilaterally encouraged him to contact his doctor immediately. Because of that, we all may have had a hand in saving this man's life! Rob may have otherwise just assumed that what he was feeling physically was only after effects of his surgery. WE WERE THERE FOR HIM WHEN HE NEEDED US! If I have contributed to this Board not being "what it used to be" then I'm sorry for that. But I value what everyone has to say, I've learned from you, I've cried for you and with you, and I'm not going anywhere. Let's stop the negativity before we drive other people away, people who may be too afraid to post because they feel they will say something wrong or get flamed. Thanks for being there for me. Thanks for listening. Maureen

Maureen, I am so glad that you are able to get a ton of valued information from this board. I agree with you in that fact that this board is for anyone who had surgery in March. I was not in any way shape or form insulting anyone on this board. Go back and read my post. I am only asking where the people are that I use to see daily on this board. The people that saw me through all of my problems prior to having my surgery. I beleive that this is getting blown out of proportion by people who have there feelings hurt of assuming that they are not appreciatied. THEY ARE!!! However, so are my friends that use to be here that no longer come here. They are the one who were here first. They are the ones that had surgery before me and I looked to them to answer my questions and give advise. They also help me in what I should look for and avoid. Now grante I have a Dr. for that but I valued these guys and dolls!!! Rob is one of the people that I am talking about. He was here from the get go. So was Va, Mo, Kimmer, Betty, Kathy, and countless others that I can't think of off the top of my head. I think that it is important to know what is going on with them. I would like to have a hand in helping in there life also. I pray that you don't think that I am flamin you cuz this is far from a flamin. I just want to be able to set it straight that I in no way insulted anyone nor was I ugly to anyone. I am saved by the grace of God and I am not that kind of person anymore. I do my best not to get in the flesh and be that kind of person. I just missed my friends that's all. Shannon The Irish Lassie aka Irish Angel Diva

I understand, Shannon, thank you for your thoughtful reply. I just like to think that we are all here, ALL of us, to support each other and help each other through the bad, and cheer each other on through all the good. I like to think I count as much as anyone else, that's all. Thanks again. Maureen

I don't beleive that I read anywhere someone helping someone else out with support of advise didn't matter. I hope that is not what you read when you read my post. It could not be farther from what I said. I believe that everyone matters when it come to support and advice. That is what we are here for. I refer to the "older gang of Marchers" because there seem to be more humor wrapped up in the support or advice and that took the edge off at times. Shannon The Irish Lassie aka Irish Angel Diva

I guess what I'm trying to say is the value of what someone has to offer this Board should not be contingent on how long they have been a part of it. Any thing any one of us has to contribute here will be valuable to some of us, if not to all. By the way, I consider myself a bit of an Irish Lass as well! Take care, Maureen

I NEVER emplyed that you had to be here a certain amount of time before what you have to say will hold some weight. Not real sure where that is coming from. Let me just say this. If someone is asking where some of the ole gang is that is not a personal insult to the newer people that are on here now. I don't know how to make it any clearer. That is just was I said in my orginal reply to this post. Maureen, to me you matter! Any thing that you can put out there that will help someone, matters to me!!!!! I was commenting to the ones that said that this is not a board for "fun" it was for support and advice in these "most difficult" times. I have to say that sometimes the difficult times aren't so difficult when you can laugh. From one irish lass to another, take care of you. Shannon The Irish Lassie aka Irish Angel Diva I was named after the Shannon River in Ireland. Still have some folks living there and hope to go there someday.

Hi Maureen -- I agree with you whole heartedly. My original post wasn't mean to be snippy -- it was simply to state that most people post-op have so many other issues to deal with than making this board "fun" all the time. Unfortunately 95% of what we are dealing with is not "fun" in the least. However, from the responses to those posts, I am choosing to leave the March board behind. I came here hoping to gain insight from others in a similar situation and to not join a cliche or a group that is split into the "oldies" and "newbies". A board changes as it grows. This board is hundreds of members strong at this point, far from what the original cozy group it appears it used to be. When that happens the "personal" warm fuzzy posts tend to go away because there are so many other issues being addressed. I have learned a lot from people here, but I will not in any way feel bad about not being "fun" because in reality I'm far from not fun!!!! I guess I just didn't come here for entertainment...I came here for compassion, knowledge and understanding. I am taking responsibility for my reaction to the posts and simply choosing to exit stage left at this point. I do not desire to be the cause of anyone else's lack of enjoyment, nor do I have any desire to add to the negative influences in my life at this point. Lord knows I'm going through enough changes without adding junk on top of it! I wish all the Marchers the best and hope that all of you have patience, health and well deserved loses. Keeping smiling and good luck on your journeys. Lissa

Lissa - I agree with you on many points, but the one I think you aren't understanding is that when we became "The Marchers" we weren't a small group. We had 300 some members and we were an extremely busy board. I think at one point it got a bit overwhelming because we tried to be everything to everybody. It's hard to keep up with that. Hard to answer every single post. Hard to relate to every single person's posts. But the thing we had that was great was a sense of inclusiveness where we WANTED new people to come in and feel comfortable jumping right in. Ultimately there were some who were still intimidated by this. It was ironic because the whole point for most of us was to help encourage a fun environment and try to get anyone and everyone to join in. By doing that, it turned some folks off. I look at some of the posts and responses in these threads and I feel like there is a hell of a lot more going on than what was just said. I get the distinct impression that people are sensitive about a subject and don't realize that they are. I see a lot of reading into intent and what I get from that is that we are all dealing with things we haven't expressed or don't know how to express. And let us not forget the hormone factor. We wimmen folk are dealing with hormones OH MOST DEFINITELY. I'm not saying YOU are hormonal, but I know from experience that losing weight does affect your hormones and we, ladies and gents, are a hormonal bunch. We are getting cold, we are weepy, we are moody, we are bleeding like stuck pigs (at least I am)..... So I think rather than leaving the board, I think you should maybe take a short break and put it in perspective in a few days. If you re-read all the posts, you (general you - not specifically you) might see how things escalated without a real good reason. There was a lot of assuming going on by many people. Hope you decide to stay, but if not - I've enjoyed having you here... Dina

Hi Dina - I didn't take your post at all personally. Fortunately I'm not hormonal today lol...but I can soooo relate to the bleeding like a stuck pig comment! Egads that last period was a mother to deal with. I'm sure I'll still "lurk" on the March board because frankly I find the information here invaluable. I did want to comment on something you said, just to give you some perspective since I did join in early March and wasn't part of the "original" group. When I joined there were a ton of inside jokes, and a clichish feeling to the board. I'm sure it wasn't intentional, but for a new person joining, it wasn't exactly inviting. Kimmer was the only person that I can recall welcoming me to the board. If I weren't an self assured and outgoing person I probably would have been intimidated and walked away at that point. Perhaps because the board has veered away from the overly personal stuff, I do think this is a bit more of an inviting place to be...more welcoming to new people. I'm sure that comes at a cost to those that were part of the original group. I can understand the desire to have this be more fun and enjoyable...but overall is that or should it be the first goal or further down the list? I'm amazed at how this topic has escalated and for that I really wish I had never responded to Kathy's post. But I do still very strongly that just because she doesn't feel that we aren't meeting her "need for entertainment" that this is a bad place for people to be. Kathy or any of the original members are more than welcome (in my humble opinion and I realize it is simply my opinion) to continue to liven up the board with fun and humorous comments/posts. But I do not see the need to curtly slam the board's overall environment because of lack of "fun" stuff. I personally miss the puzzles of the day/week, and some of the more chatty comments, but again, that doesn't mean the value of this board is by any means diminished. If I could take back my original response to Kathy I would. It certainly isn't worth all this hub bub. Lissa

Lissa - Honestly I think it was going to happen whether you were the one to say something or not. It is just what I view as growing pains. As for the inside jokes, that is what I was referring to. We all wanted to play, but we wanted to encourage others to jump in and play too. That is what was intimidating for others, but what we were trying to avoid. We wanted to have it both ways - lots of inside jokes that were able to be inclusive of everyone, so everyone would be on the "inside." But it was probably wanting too much. You can't have a group of friends getting rowdy without someone feeling they are not wanted. Must of us come from place in our lives where that was the norm, so it's not an expected thing to have it look one way but be another. It's what we wanted, but because of other people being uncomfortable with it, it couldn't be that. I think I'm rambling now because I don't even know if I understand what I just said! Basically, I'm just saying the *intent* was noble and inclusive....even though people may have viewed it as the opposite. What is it they say? Oh yeah - "no good deed goes unpunished..." Dina