True confessions

You mention you can't exercise yet and I know that is a source of problem for lots of us. For many years I was completely closed to the mere idea of exercising. During that time, I did a great diet (Diet Center) and lost all my weight but sooner or later (in this case pretty much later) it came back. The reasons I wouldn't exercise are complex and, looking back, I think I was just filled with anger at all this stuff I would "have" to do. It had always been a bone of contention between my parents and me growing up. I had low self-esteem, too, and that didn't make me want to be more active. I had a huge exacerbation of my arthritis a few years ago and finally was so heavy and in so much pain that I couldn't climb stairs, couldn't step up, and so on, in other words was in serious danger of losing my mobility and had to go to physical therapy. Somehow those people got through to me and I realized I could actually feel better if I did this stuff (in my gut I realized it, not in my head as before). Everyone's story is different, but I share this in the hopes that it may strike a chord. Anyway, as a lifelong slacker, and also someone who was very ill after the surgery, I've been letting too many things (and they're all serious things) come between me and getting into a regular program. I'm listening to your story and vowing to get back in the game, as I know that I must. However, for me, the answer is an individual program such as Curves or weight-training, as I don't like classes. I was amazed there was something I do like (Curves is particularly time efficient if you are a caretaker with lots of constraints). I don't know why you can't exercise, but perhaps we could make some suggestions if you tell us a little more about why you can't. It can reduce loneliness and frustration (and if I were going through what you are going through, I would be feeling plenty of both). I also took up meditation (not the woowoo stuff, something I learned at a hospital pain clinic). There is a CD out now by Andrew Weil and Jon Kabat-Zinn that you can buy at any large book chain that explains it all and gives a few nice techniques. I find I need help with breaking down the underlying resistance and anger that I have and this helps, as well as making me more peaceful everyday in the middle of cir****tances I can do nothing about. Anyway, I think you would be at the point where lack of exercise will start to catch up with you and sabotage all you have been through to get to this point. Just my (rather lengthy) two cents. Gano