Guuurrrlll

I was at target and tried on the cutest hat. It was a soft light pink suede with this tiny rhinestone square pendant in the front. I looked like I stepped out of the mtv studios with that hat on. I felt to gurrly! That is the one thing that I am feeling lately. Like a GIRL! Its been sooo long. I use to walk around invisible. I would feel manly... like all the girl essence was no longer present. Just going out in public, I knew how big I was, I knew what it was like to be ignored and you just sort of adapt to that. In a way there was a sort of strange comfort in being invisible. Not having to impress anyone and not having to worry about anyone really paying attention to you. Just walk into a store...be ignored...be androgynous (felt like) and then out. But it was lonely. I longed to be part of society again. I looked at all the cute girls with their cute clothes and hats and accessories and just longed to be that. (just an older verson lol) I would look at these girls that go out in just a pair of jeans and a t-shirt whose stomach doesnt hang over their pants or bulge out and wonder ... hmmm whats that like? I cant imagine the freedom of that! Just not having to worry. Its like when you walk out the door and look cute... you know your clothes will stay in place. They wont wrinkle up from sitting down. They wont stretch out from sitting down (after all the fat just sortof distorts the clothes when sitting). You dont have to constantly fix your clothes all the time because of that. I am not quite there yet but I am getting there! How wonderful it will be to feel soooo girly! I am just living it up and enjoying that as much as possible right now. (as much as I financially can!! (which isnt that much)) I am so happy to feel like a woman again. Its just the best feeling. I cannot wait till I hit goal and can get some plastics done. SO I TOO can walk out the door with my jeans and t-shirt. No belly hang or belly bulges! wooo hoooo!!! Elizabeth M

Elizabeth, I was reading your post and I was thinking of how much I could relate to this. I too had become so comfortable with being invisable. It was almost a shock to find that people where noticing me. I went through a small period of time where I was so consumed with how are people seeing me now? I too wanted to be one of those girls that just throws on a t-shirt and jeans and hits the floor running but looking stunning. Was I meant to be that kind of girl? Well now I think so!!!!!!! I love being able to throw my hair up in a pony tail, grab a t-shirt, slide in to those oh so comfortable jeans, lace up those tinnies and go! And you know what....I get looked at just as much like that as I do when I am dressed up. Elizabeth, I want to join you in that thought of being the gurlie, girl only a older version. So I guess we get to be so gurlie together! Shannon The Irish Lassie 266/155/140

Elizabeth, No one is more surprised than me that I've become a girlie girl. Who knew? I love the fact that there is nothing in my closet that is too small. I can pull anything out and wear it (sometimes too big). I don't have to pick up a big pile of clothes that I've tried on and found too tight after I get dressed. This weekend I went for a day of pampering with a pedicure, haircut and makeover and it only cost me 30.00. There is a Toni and Guy Academy in the area. The instructors work with the students on your haircuts and I've never had a bad cut there. The cut was 12.00, a deep conditioning with scalp massage was 3.00 and the pedicure was 15.00. Such a deal and as good as anything I've ever gotten at a full service salon. After that, I headed to Dillard's and the Origins counter for a free makeover. I thought she was way too heavy handed with the makeup, but it was nice being pampered. I did end up spending a small fortune on facial care products, but that's optional. They were having Casino Day at Dillard's and I ended up winning two 25.00 gift certificates, a make up bag and a charm bracelet. There might be places in your area that you can do the girlie thing for cheap. Check the malls for specials. Have a blast being a GURRRL! Connie

Ugh the dreaded search for something to wear that wasnt too small. Man how quickly I forget. I remember once going through my closet of 30/32 and 26/28 clothes and just wanting to burst out crying because NOTHING FIT!!! and what did fit looked absolutely frumpy and unkempt. I can still feel that sinking hopless feeling in my chest. That sheer pain and depression of not being able to even wear normal clothes! oh man I will never forget the feeling. I LOVE going to get my nails and feet done. I go to get a manicure and a pedicure and the pedicure is awesome! They have the massage chairs and the foot spas and they massage your legs and feet and hands and such.. Its great. I am definitely going to have to look around for those training academies!! I want sooo bad to have an aromatherapy scalp massage. I know there is one place down here in Philadelphia...Im sure it costs alot though...but I want to have that done! I often wonder about getting the attention now. I have seen it and have felt a bit uncomfortable with it. Something I am getting use to though. I just try my best to hold my chin up and just say thank you or be a bit more personable. (not shuffling feet and looking down) like I usually do! Its hard to adjust to that and I get a bit nervous the more weight I loose...but I guess its more of a nervous excitement! I just am so happy to feel more pretty again. I missed being "cute" you know I miss feeling like a part of society. I see the difference in attitudes now when I am out. People acknowledge my existence. Hold doors for me...ask if I need help...just their overall attitude is ... well... normal! They aren't looking at me thinking "wow! she is huge" you know they are just not even noticing me as being different than anyone else. Just a little pudgy nothing to even think about you know! I cant wait till I am not pudgy anymore! How awesome its going to be!!! well. Im long winded today! ELizabeth M

Hi Elizabeth! Oh, do I ever know how you feel!! It's been sooo many years since I've felt feminine. I actually enjoy shopping again, I want to wear jewelry (my hubby and kids got me a ring, pendant, and earrings for Christmas, and I went gaga over them!), and I want to start wearing perfume again! And ooh! High heels! I can wear 3" heels again, and I'm absolutely loving it! It's a good feeling to feel like a gurly girl again... Have a good afternoon, all! -Marcie

Yeah I have been dabbling in the perfume myself and smelly soaps and such. You know what I cant wait for... Ever notice that sometimes when you walk by a really thin girl and they have that fresh shower smell that just seems to STICK with them all day? I cant wait for that to be me! I know that sounds koo koo but I feel like being this big our bodies just act different when it comes to our chemistry and such. I do notice that the scents last longer and just over all smells better. Not that I was stinky before just the scent never lasted. I dont know am I the only one that notices that? Im so weird. Elizabeth M

Yep , I feel like a girl again !! At 56 , I know that is silly , but the "boys" I'm around are in their 50's and 60's Ha, Ha, or under 10 years old ! (I'm a school lunch room manager). Today a deliever man came that I had not seen in months and he said "Lord , how much weight have you lost?" I told him 86 pounds and I want to lose at least 20 more and he said I was just the right size !! I felt so strange. You know people not really looking at me for all these years ( except my husband and my Mama , they always thought I was pretty !! ) I don't know how to handle it when somebody sayes I look good. But it sure is nice Judy

This girly girl has just about popped outta my loose flabby skin, and I love her. I am her she is me and we love shopping. We don't hafta buy but life without shopping would be a vaccume, like when I was fat! I'm no longer fat and while not totally the fab that I plan to become I'm getting there. My hubby told me I should buy a belt. My first response was "I can't wear a belt!" He asked why and I said "Fat chicks don't wear belts, DEAR!" (Was super P.O.ed that he could be so dern dense!) His reply was "Well DEAR, you're not fat anymore, take the $20 on the table and buy a nice belt." I cried, happy tears, took the $20 and hit the road. I'm gonna get my tires rotated and balanced, get the belt and go home and well no more of that talk.... use your imagination! L&H Gayle