Wish me Luck as I begin the 5 day pouch test today. I really have felt out of control and as I read all I could on the plan I think its a great idea to help me regain some self control. And if I was honest I would tell you all that last week was just as bad as before - my determination was underminded by my grazing, snacking, urges and so I think of this as a "cold turkey" kind of plan. Goodbye crackers/pretzels, tortilla chips and all other easily digestible but poorly planned nutrition. Hello water, crystal lite, propel, protein shakes and vitamins! My name is Kathryn and we haven't spent as much together as we should Have a great week everyone - I'll keep posting! Kathryn

Sounds yummy Thanks for posting I think this is a great idea! I will search for one too Ruth! Have a happy Monday Everyone! Kathryn

GOOD FOR YOU RUTH you are going to love working out once you get in the habit- you will feel so empowered. I loved my membership- which we no longer have But I am excited for you and excited to jump start my own exercise again! BEst of luck I cant wait to read about your gym adventures Kathryn

Andi, Congrats on the bar mitzvah!! You are right about focusing on the positive which is what I am trying to do. I have been hovering between 156-158 for the longest time but the other day I got on the scale and it hit 160!! I am upset with this and truly want to make this my cut off/ final straw, I don't want to go another pound higher. So I am going to try to stick to more protein and less carbs (trust me it definately was the other way around). I am going to Florida to visit my parents for the week and fully intend to at least walk everyday and hopefully do more! I might try kayaking. The positive thing I have experienced this weekend was that I was in Walmart and came across a pair of size 22 pants, that you used to be my size way back when! I held them up and showed my kids that I used to wear that size, they couldn't belive it and quite frankly neither could I! Those pants were huge, I felt as though I could wrap them around myself once or twice. I never, ever want to see that size in my house again. Hopefully that will be motivation enough! Good luck with getting yourself back on track. Amy

This is a great post. I think for me its the taste of being thin. For over 40 yrs I was the fat one in the family. Now I am the thin one. I am right about the same size as my younger sister who is 4 inches shorter than I am. In the beginning there was some resentment from my two sisters that are now the "fat ones". They are used to it now as now I am healthy and active and able to do so much more than I was before. My Dad calls me the skinny stranger. He used to talk about me terrible because of my weight. He did it for years. The words he used to say to me are still in my head but I have forgiven him and others in my family for their harsh hurtful words. I am getting used to the compliments now and actually kind of like them. I don't see what other see all the time but with time I now see what they see most of the time. Still getting used to the attention from men, I still hold some resentment towards that though. I figure they didn't pay attention to me before so you dont deserve my attention now! Another thing that really helps me keep focused on staying thin and on track is this picture that my sister took about 1 week post op from my surgery. OMG it has to be the ugliest picture on the face of this earth! I was so FAT and unhealthy. I have the picture on my refrigerator and in my wallet. When I show people that picture they don't believe it's me. So, I have had to put more fat pics of me in my wallet just to prove it's really me. I have to keep focused and remember that the people I meet now don't know the old Kelly. I have so much confidence in myself now whereas before I had absolutely 0. The old Kelly creeps back every now and then...I have to actually push her out of my head and it gets easier with each passing day. I also have to say that my surgeon actually helped me alot thru all this. When I first started going to see him, his office staff took a picture of me. It is in my chart and last year when I went for my 1 yr post op visit, I was sitting on the examine table and he was standing across the room reviewing my blood work. He turned and said come here. So, I got up and went over to him.....he put his arm around me and said...who is the person in the picture in your chart. I said it's me. He said no who is she? I said it's me. He said no, say the name of the person in that picture. I said, it's Kelly Johnson. He said no it's the OLD Kelly Johnson. I want you to say goodbye to her. So, I did as he asked and said Goodbye, Kelly Johnson. Then he made me turn around and look into the full length mirror. He told me to say Hello, to the NEW Kelly Johnson. I said Hello and began to cry so hard and then he hugged me and told me to move on and never look back. And that is what I have done. It's been a difficult journey getting rid of the old and accepting the new. But, the journey gets easier every single day. Just try it....Look at an old picture of the FAT you and then look into a full length mirror and say HELLO to the new you. The fit you. Those are my motivations...it helps when I sit and reflect on the things that have changed. It has been an incredible journey and I love all of you. We did it on our own but we also did it together too. So, I would say that my continued motivation is each and everyone of you too. Kel